On Erik, and other things

[sorcyress]

I have a list entitled "Common Themes in Sorcy's Mindscape", which I add to when I think of new things. These are not necessarily tropes that ever show up in my (public) writing, but instead things that tend to be near the forefront of any daydreams I might have.

One of them was brought up in a discussion last night --the idea of, for lack of a better term, pure transsexualism. I am endlessly fascinated by the concept of what would happen if men suddenly turned to women, both on a global and individual scale. I say pure simply because it would be a complete transformation, in essence, you are you, you just happen to suddenly be in the body you would inhabit were you born female.

While I will occasionally toss various people I know into the male to female situation and daydream about what happens next¹, the only person I've ever bothered to think about in a female to male situation is myself.

I've spent probably an embarrassing amount of thought on the topic, to the point where my male!self has a name (Erik) and a rough background. He almost certainly dated Veronica (though probably at a younger age, and they've since become friends), he is...probably...less interested in genderfuck than I am, he is not as into the dance scene not because he dislikes dancing but because he doesn't have the same relationships with the people who have primarily dragged me into dance. (I don't know if he would know Magus, for instance.)

The biggest sticking point is that I honestly don't know what Erik's sexuality would be --I know he likes girls, but I don't know if he also appreciates or is interested in men. Yes, I like everybody, but I'm a girl and it really is more socially acceptable, in my limited experience, to be a non-hetero female than a non-hetero male.

So!

What about you? If, when you were born, you found yourself with an x instead of a y or vice versa, what do you think your counterpart would be like? Would you be into the same things? Would you have the same gender, do you think, and the same sexuality? How would your basic relationships with the people around you be different --for the purposes of this post, they all have the gender they have in the real world, you're the only one different.

Tell me alll about yourself. *grins*

~Sor
MOOP!

P.S: For bonus points, give me a quick run down of what you'd do³ if you suddenly swapped gender right now. You were male up until reading this sentance, BAM, you have tits.

1: I tend to be more mentally attracted to men, and physically attracted to women. The girls I usually have serious crushes on are often heavily into some kind of genderfuck already, and tend to, if not list as male, have characteristics and interests that are more stereotypically male. (technical theatre, geekery, gaming). Therefore, the concept of a male mind in a female body² equals a happy Kat.

2: Well, I mean, kindof. I do know an awful lot of pre and post op/testosterone female to male transboys. I really really don't want anyone to be unhappy in their own skin.

3: I mean, after the four hours in the bathroom figuring out how everything works and playing squish.

Comments

[hmark42.livejournal.com]

Had I been born female, I probably would have had a whole lot more dating and partnersex. :-/

Oh: and I would probably be bisexual (I cannot imagine not being sexually attracted to women, whatever my own plumbing).

[dan4th.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth, I had a mental male!self in college. I had a whole cast, which is one of the things that always makes me a little nostalgic when I read your posts. I think there were actually two male!selves, but I'd have to go read old journals to remember. I certainly wasn't as public about naming the voices in my head as you are. I'm a little envious.

at any rate, the big difference between Thomas (who was my male!self) and me is that I am transsexual, and he wasn't.

[werewulf.livejournal.com]

MY male self has been around and thought of since I was at least 10 or 11 years old. He is VERY different from me and he is enormously straight (which means he likes girls). He also drinks a LOT more than I do and is a million times cooler than I'll ever be.

Love,
your
Mom... Dad?

[xalolo.livejournal.com]

I'd be pretty much me regardless, probably a bit less shy.

Bonus answer: I'd be able to demo way more effectively at conventions and sell lots of games -_- But hey, this way I get to have more fun people helping at the booths, so its not all bad!

[drama-angel3189.livejournal.com]

I have never thought about it. Though I would still be a major flirt I think.
Something new to think about.

[tolkienkookad.livejournal.com]

I'd masturbate.

Um, okay, no, after freaking? I'd make sure nothing else changed. I still can draw, check, I still write, check, I still do what I do, check.

I'd also figure out how to swivel my hips.

[crystalpyramid]

I'd be pretty much the same, except it would read differently — gentle studious guy instead of crazy science girl. More annoying in my occasional assertiveness, more effective at getting my students to shut up. Less exceptional as a male than a female, maybe a little more trampled-on in the rush of male competitiveness. Maybe I would've gone to grad school in physics. Probably single, certainly a whole lot lonelier.

[leiacat.livejournal.com]

I think my male self would be a fair bit different. I am very, very firmly identified with living in my particular body, so if I happened to be a tall athletic brunette I'd likely be pretty different, too. I tend to come across as male in online-media. I've had friends tell me that they've been asked if I'm really a guy using a girl online name.

On the other hand, I'd still be me. I'd likely still be con-going, book-worming, teching, and quite probably dancing. No idea if I'd meet any of you people, though - that happened via a dating experience, and even if my male-self weren't straight (and no reason why he would be), the dated person is, so the introduction to all y'all simply would not have happened. For that matter - well, _I_ didn't meet anyone in college that I would have wanted to date for any length of time were I male, so I'd likely have left undergrad single. And since geeky girls are harder to find than geeky guys, who knows where I'd end up were I male.

Damn, this is depressing. So I'd still be me, but single and entirely else-friended.

[scooterbird.livejournal.com]

Well, I'd spend about four hours in the bathroom, playing -- oh, wait, you covered that.

First, I'd be quite depressed, initially. I'm someone who likes to have a clear sense of identity, even if I'm a variant thereof, and being male is a part of that; I enjoy it a great deal, and I think that I think in a typically male fashion (if that made any sense whatsoever). So there would be some adjusting before anything else happened.

Oddly, I think once the adjustment to the physical happened, the rest would come along relatively easily. I sense that for a basically straight guy, I have a pretty good handle on the parts of me that are "female". I could settle into the role with relative ease, in that I would have prominent parts of my personality being either "male" or "female", while guys - in general - tend to live outside the ambiguous areas of gender identification...thus, female seems almost a default classification. My guess would be that I would be bisexual, but I don't know for sure.

I've never tried to personify the female aspect of myself, except that efbq and I once created RPG characters of who we would have been if born the opposite sex, taking the name that we would have been born with as a starting point. So I was a slight redhead named Michelle.

[tirerim.livejournal.com]

Hm. I have occasionally thought about this, and don't really have a good answer. I would definitely be somewhat different; for a start, I expect that the feminine aspects of my personality would be somewhat more pronounced, and the masculine ones more subdued, but I really can't say to what extent (in part because I don't really have a way to quantify the balance between them now), though I think my personality as a whole would not be strongly different. My primary friendship in middle and high school was pretty strongly stereotypically male, so I expect that would have been significantly different, with unpredictable results. And of course my romantic history would also be quite different (though possibly not entirely different). As for other relationships, I'm not sure; I suspect that geekiness dominates most of my relationships with my friends these days more than most gender norms, but I'm sure there would still be some differences, and I don't know what they would be.

Bonus: well, I guess I'd have to shopping, since presumably most of my clothing (especially my shoes) would no longer fit, unless we're talking about a Misfile (http://www.misfile.com)-type situation here. Not that I mind having to go on a thrift store expedition. Though come to think of it, calling my S.O.s and having some very interesting conversations would probably have to come first. I think that would actually be a lot easier to deal with than having everyone else's memories of me suddenly switch to female while my own remained the same; while I might have to deal with some relationships changing, at least I wouldn't have to try to figure out how they had theoretically been different all along.

Have you read Steel Beach by John Varley, btw? Has some very interesting stuff about gender-changing in a far future society. Can loan it to you if you haven't; it's quite good on other levels, too.