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Nov. 21st, 2017 10:11 pmInteresting night tonight. My POWER HOUR1 actually went pretty well, and critically, I did some serious room cleaning that desssssperately wanted to be done for my own continued sanity. That being said, as soon as POWER HOUR was over and I was allowed to use electronics again, I pretty much sank into a stupor of finally having my laptop operational again.2
Also I re-read the entire Rocky Horror Muppet Show, because occasionally I remember that's a thing that exists, and I'm pleased about that.
Anyways, I'm not remotely packed for Thanksgiving, and that's probably a problem. I should really get on it, but mehhhhh I don't wanna. It's not like I need to do a particularly hard pack --like, four days of clothes and some grading. I can handle this bullshit, really. I just need to...actually do it. I think my current plan is to head straight to school in the morning sans bike, and plan on dropping into Davis Square as soon as the school day ends and taking the T to Logan. Good plan, self. Very organized, or whatever.
The anniversary effect is in full swing right now. I feel a little relieved having figured out why my brain has been so *amazingly* inefficient the past week or so, but also, ugghhh, ten years ago nowish my computer crashed but hard (heh, butt hard) and I lost the entire first semester of college.
(Ten years ago on Sunday, I started Scottish. Ten years ago a week after that and this city first sang in my chest I was home. It would be so much easier if all the anniversaries hurt, then I could just write off this whole damn fortnight, but instead I have traumas and trigger warnings3 mixed in with joys and jubilations.)
Anyways, I'ma go to bed in a little bit --my bed has _stuff_ on it, but less than it could for a room-cleaning day. Tomorrow morning I will wake up stupid early --seriously, I'm sleeping early enough that a 4:30 wake up is still more'n six hours-- and throw things into a bag and then go to work. Maybe if I do some of the easier/faster grading I'll manage to have less to carry on the plane. That'd be pretty cool, anyways.
I'm gonna keep trying to do POWER HOURs every day I can. Wednesdays and Thursdays right now they're pretty much a wash, since I go from school to afternoon stuff to evenings without any break at home in between. But Mondays and Tuesdays work, and sometimes on Friday, especially if I can use it as part of modulating the Friday crash (haha, this does not happen, I just crash really hard every Friday.)
Hope you are well and able to make a life work for you.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: POWER HOUR is a misnomer, in that it's the 61 minutes upon arriving home from work in which I am not allowed to use electronics distractions. No phone, no lappy, no television, no vibrator. I don't have to be productive, although that's a nice sometimes side effect. I first came up with the idea ages and ages ago but haven't been doing it of late --I started again last week and somehow decided to call it POWER HOUR because I am weird or dumb. I've done it four times now tho, so that's pretty good.
2: My laptop no longer works unless it's plugged in --I have to figure out how to strip it of content so I can bring it to an apple store and then ensure that they won't fucking update anything (thereby making iTunes shittier, for instance) but also somehow obtaining a new battery as I sure as hell can't replace it myself. Or I can just use her as a desktop computer. She's four years old, and seen heavy use, but I still feel fairly betrayed by this situation.
3: No seriously, trigger warning Yeah, December 2nd is my rape-iversary, so, you know. I mean, it wasn't actually the first time I was raped (I dunno what else to call being rutted against from behind while crying silent so your boyfriend doesn't notice you're upset) but it was the worst, and it was the time that made me snap enough to say forget you and forget this, we're done here. Anywho, almost ten years since the last time I was raped, that's a good thing right?
Maybe sorry for going dark. It's my damn journal and I've done the processing for it, you can cope with your awkward feelings on your own time. Am genuinely sorry for triggery/trauma-reminding feels in my friends, but those of you who don't have sexual assault storylines can cope on your own time.
Also I re-read the entire Rocky Horror Muppet Show, because occasionally I remember that's a thing that exists, and I'm pleased about that.
Anyways, I'm not remotely packed for Thanksgiving, and that's probably a problem. I should really get on it, but mehhhhh I don't wanna. It's not like I need to do a particularly hard pack --like, four days of clothes and some grading. I can handle this bullshit, really. I just need to...actually do it. I think my current plan is to head straight to school in the morning sans bike, and plan on dropping into Davis Square as soon as the school day ends and taking the T to Logan. Good plan, self. Very organized, or whatever.
The anniversary effect is in full swing right now. I feel a little relieved having figured out why my brain has been so *amazingly* inefficient the past week or so, but also, ugghhh, ten years ago nowish my computer crashed but hard (heh, butt hard) and I lost the entire first semester of college.
(Ten years ago on Sunday, I started Scottish. Ten years ago a week after that and this city first sang in my chest I was home. It would be so much easier if all the anniversaries hurt, then I could just write off this whole damn fortnight, but instead I have traumas and trigger warnings3 mixed in with joys and jubilations.)
Anyways, I'ma go to bed in a little bit --my bed has _stuff_ on it, but less than it could for a room-cleaning day. Tomorrow morning I will wake up stupid early --seriously, I'm sleeping early enough that a 4:30 wake up is still more'n six hours-- and throw things into a bag and then go to work. Maybe if I do some of the easier/faster grading I'll manage to have less to carry on the plane. That'd be pretty cool, anyways.
I'm gonna keep trying to do POWER HOURs every day I can. Wednesdays and Thursdays right now they're pretty much a wash, since I go from school to afternoon stuff to evenings without any break at home in between. But Mondays and Tuesdays work, and sometimes on Friday, especially if I can use it as part of modulating the Friday crash (haha, this does not happen, I just crash really hard every Friday.)
Hope you are well and able to make a life work for you.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: POWER HOUR is a misnomer, in that it's the 61 minutes upon arriving home from work in which I am not allowed to use electronics distractions. No phone, no lappy, no television, no vibrator. I don't have to be productive, although that's a nice sometimes side effect. I first came up with the idea ages and ages ago but haven't been doing it of late --I started again last week and somehow decided to call it POWER HOUR because I am weird or dumb. I've done it four times now tho, so that's pretty good.
2: My laptop no longer works unless it's plugged in --I have to figure out how to strip it of content so I can bring it to an apple store and then ensure that they won't fucking update anything (thereby making iTunes shittier, for instance) but also somehow obtaining a new battery as I sure as hell can't replace it myself. Or I can just use her as a desktop computer. She's four years old, and seen heavy use, but I still feel fairly betrayed by this situation.
3: No seriously, trigger warning Yeah, December 2nd is my rape-iversary, so, you know. I mean, it wasn't actually the first time I was raped (I dunno what else to call being rutted against from behind while crying silent so your boyfriend doesn't notice you're upset) but it was the worst, and it was the time that made me snap enough to say forget you and forget this, we're done here. Anywho, almost ten years since the last time I was raped, that's a good thing right?
Maybe sorry for going dark. It's my damn journal and I've done the processing for it, you can cope with your awkward feelings on your own time. Am genuinely sorry for triggery/trauma-reminding feels in my friends, but those of you who don't have sexual assault storylines can cope on your own time.