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Jan. 8th, 2016 06:15 pmSo here's the skinny.
There was winter break and there was knowing I had to write my midterms for relatively soon after winter break. There was also knowing I had to get some grading done, so I could return things to the girls to study from.
Then there was school starting again on Monday. And Monday and Tuesday being actively *impressive* in how little I managed to get done, and how completely I managed to not start doing things.
Exams were due Thursday at the absolute latest, presumably first thing in the morning. Wednesday, with them barely started, my animal hindbrain kicked in and realized that I am in Big Fucking Trouble.
So, since Wednesday morning, I have only officially slept about 5 hours0 (with maybe a half dozen 20-30 minute naps scattered in between.) I got my last exams submitted to my boss to review at about 8:00 Thursday night. I have graded about three of the Many assignments I need to have gotten done.
But I have also been impressively strict with myself vis-a-vis electronic use. Oh sure, there are absolutely other distractions in the world, but there's a lot I can do with my computer and my phone that will lay me up for hours with little-to-no actual benefit to my life. So I basically decided Wednesday morning that this was it, and have followed through.
Acceptable use of electronics boiled down to the following items:
Furthermore, for the school days, I've been locking my phone in my desk the whole day (including my preps and lunch). I've been checking my email about once a day, on the school computers at the end of the day when no one's around. Things I have not been doing the last three days:
And...it's helped me stay on track. ESPECIALLY in conjunction of leaving a 750words file open each day --they've been pretty stream of consciousnessy and fun. I haven't been talking to other people very much, but man, the conversations I've been having with myself have been gentle, and encouraging, and enthusiastic, and fun.
I talked briefly in my Resolustravaganza about wanting to spend less time on the computer in general, and I think this works as a nice precursor to that. I think I'd like to try, for the rest of the month, to limit my "normal" computer and tiny pocket computer use to no more than two hours a day. Set timers and everything.
(Writing my words, and doing actual work-related work is always on. If I get so desperate to stare at a screen that I build ten lesson plans and write five thousand words good.)
What do I do with the extra time? I am not sure. How do I handle not being around to do endless mindless instant messaging in the background? I am also not sure, but one answer is I schedule times when I will be around for insta-chat and post 'em here, and so if people want to poke me, they'll know when I'm likely to be pokable.
For right now --this separation from electronics is going to continue until I am "finished" with work (and yes, I have established an objective answer as to what that means)-- the time I am not electronicsing is going to be work. Still _lots_ of grading to do. My house could use cleaning, besides, especially since I'll have people in town during Arisia.
I said to myself yesterday, while biking "I like myself". That's me saying that in the middle of what is arguably my biggest professional fuck-up to date, on hardly any sleep, while under a huge amount of stress. The last three days have felt emotionally better than I have in weeks, I think mostly because I've managed to (largely, not entirely) get over my avoidance issues and start actually _doing_ the things instead of being stressed about them.
Plus, correlation doesn't equal causation, but I've written a *lot* in the last few, and I know damn well that both the noun and verb of writing are critical to my continued happiness. That being said, when I am hells to the tired, I get even worse at brevity than normal --especially today, when I missed my meds. Oops.
So that's me. That's lots of where I am right now. I might put "taking and posting photos/selfies" onto the approved activities list, since I miss that and generally feel it's a high net positive use of my time. Plus, I took this amazing picture of Jesus's Fabulous French Ballgown from the bulletin board upstairs and I need to share it sometime.
I hope your new year is going well, and I hope you are being gentle to yourself --I have been enjoying the irony, as my students prepare for midterms, of me preaching to them to spread out their work and not do it all in one night...
~Sor
MOOP!
0: Observations, more for myself than anyone else: Dew is good, especially in light of the fact that I may be losing the ability to drink coffee without becoming sick. MORE FOOD and especially MORE PROTEIN seems to be critical. Hot showers in the morning are ++, and make it less obvious that my eyes are all sore. Practice getting up at the alarm without hitting snooze, it is a skill we sadly lack.
Also, don't fucking go 48 hours on five hours sleep, dumbass. My miles biked to hours slept ratio is, since Wednesday morning, about 11:1. Normal is something closer to 3:1. YAY!
1: Actual conversation from today:
Student: Mx Whimsy3, what social media sites do you use?
Me: Livejournal.
Different Student: *entirely deadpan* What's livejournal?
I...broke down laughing on the desk because YUP!
2: I broke this rule once --Sparr tagged me in a post of him wearin' suits and I told him he looked hot. But I did not check the rest of my notifications!
3: Technically they call me neither Mx nor Whimsy, but in my journal, I have artistic license to lie about things like this.
4: I do not use Snapchat. Please do not send me snaps. Except, do, I guess? I'm Sorcyress, like everywhere else. I will screencap everything you send me, because obviously. I hate Snapchat more than any other social media I've ever touched, and not even in a "I hate Tumblr but I love it!" way. It just confuses me, I really don't get why we've swung back around to making it harder to collect photos of the people we love.
Digital cameras and webcams were sorta rare, and the few photos I had of faraway friends were awesome. And then they became big and people took selfies and posted cute profile pics on Facebook and I had so many and it was awesome! And now...we're...curating an archive that immediately disappears? I don't get it. Maybe I'm old now.
((PostScript: Yes, I realize I said no social media. But the rule is Publish or Perish, and creating content is an entirely different beast to consuming it.))
There was winter break and there was knowing I had to write my midterms for relatively soon after winter break. There was also knowing I had to get some grading done, so I could return things to the girls to study from.
Then there was school starting again on Monday. And Monday and Tuesday being actively *impressive* in how little I managed to get done, and how completely I managed to not start doing things.
Exams were due Thursday at the absolute latest, presumably first thing in the morning. Wednesday, with them barely started, my animal hindbrain kicked in and realized that I am in Big Fucking Trouble.
So, since Wednesday morning, I have only officially slept about 5 hours0 (with maybe a half dozen 20-30 minute naps scattered in between.) I got my last exams submitted to my boss to review at about 8:00 Thursday night. I have graded about three of the Many assignments I need to have gotten done.
But I have also been impressively strict with myself vis-a-vis electronic use. Oh sure, there are absolutely other distractions in the world, but there's a lot I can do with my computer and my phone that will lay me up for hours with little-to-no actual benefit to my life. So I basically decided Wednesday morning that this was it, and have followed through.
Acceptable use of electronics boiled down to the following items:
- Listening to music on my phone
- Using my phone as an alarm clock
- Checking the weather so to not overdress (or underdress) against weather
- Writing my words (to vast excess, it turns out --1170 on Weds, 1530 yesterday, and I'm already past 1400 today)
- Responding to time-sensitive informational texts/IMs
- Using the phone as an actual calling device, esp. regarding appointments
Furthermore, for the school days, I've been locking my phone in my desk the whole day (including my preps and lunch). I've been checking my email about once a day, on the school computers at the end of the day when no one's around. Things I have not been doing the last three days:
- Any social media: No Twitter, Livejournal1, Facebook2, Tumblr, or Snapchat4.
- Instant messaging. Which is still probably my number-two favourite way to communicate with people (meandering asynchronous email conversations is probably number one) so that sucks.
- Video games. Heroes of Might and Magic 3 is the one that chiefly sucks up my time (it's not Skyrim bad, but it can be pretty bad.), but I've also forsworn all phone games, including my precious hashi puzzles and (horror of horrors) Neko Atsume. My yard probably hasn't had kitties for days. :(
- Webcomics --although I did finally break this morning, since things are slowing down hecticwise, and catch up over breakfast as is my wont. So I'm a dirty cheater who can't follow their own rules.
- Basically any web content that isn't explicitly and directly related to work. I've been googling example problems and jeopardy templates and how to solve and graphing calculators (I love Desmos and will raise its children), but no Captain Awkward, or Not Always Right, or YouTube, or Reddit, or gosh, I dunno, any of it!
And...it's helped me stay on track. ESPECIALLY in conjunction of leaving a 750words file open each day --they've been pretty stream of consciousnessy and fun. I haven't been talking to other people very much, but man, the conversations I've been having with myself have been gentle, and encouraging, and enthusiastic, and fun.
I talked briefly in my Resolustravaganza about wanting to spend less time on the computer in general, and I think this works as a nice precursor to that. I think I'd like to try, for the rest of the month, to limit my "normal" computer and tiny pocket computer use to no more than two hours a day. Set timers and everything.
(Writing my words, and doing actual work-related work is always on. If I get so desperate to stare at a screen that I build ten lesson plans and write five thousand words good.)
What do I do with the extra time? I am not sure. How do I handle not being around to do endless mindless instant messaging in the background? I am also not sure, but one answer is I schedule times when I will be around for insta-chat and post 'em here, and so if people want to poke me, they'll know when I'm likely to be pokable.
For right now --this separation from electronics is going to continue until I am "finished" with work (and yes, I have established an objective answer as to what that means)-- the time I am not electronicsing is going to be work. Still _lots_ of grading to do. My house could use cleaning, besides, especially since I'll have people in town during Arisia.
I said to myself yesterday, while biking "I like myself". That's me saying that in the middle of what is arguably my biggest professional fuck-up to date, on hardly any sleep, while under a huge amount of stress. The last three days have felt emotionally better than I have in weeks, I think mostly because I've managed to (largely, not entirely) get over my avoidance issues and start actually _doing_ the things instead of being stressed about them.
Plus, correlation doesn't equal causation, but I've written a *lot* in the last few, and I know damn well that both the noun and verb of writing are critical to my continued happiness. That being said, when I am hells to the tired, I get even worse at brevity than normal --especially today, when I missed my meds. Oops.
So that's me. That's lots of where I am right now. I might put "taking and posting photos/selfies" onto the approved activities list, since I miss that and generally feel it's a high net positive use of my time. Plus, I took this amazing picture of Jesus's Fabulous French Ballgown from the bulletin board upstairs and I need to share it sometime.
I hope your new year is going well, and I hope you are being gentle to yourself --I have been enjoying the irony, as my students prepare for midterms, of me preaching to them to spread out their work and not do it all in one night...
~Sor
MOOP!
0: Observations, more for myself than anyone else: Dew is good, especially in light of the fact that I may be losing the ability to drink coffee without becoming sick. MORE FOOD and especially MORE PROTEIN seems to be critical. Hot showers in the morning are ++, and make it less obvious that my eyes are all sore. Practice getting up at the alarm without hitting snooze, it is a skill we sadly lack.
Also, don't fucking go 48 hours on five hours sleep, dumbass. My miles biked to hours slept ratio is, since Wednesday morning, about 11:1. Normal is something closer to 3:1. YAY!
1: Actual conversation from today:
Student: Mx Whimsy3, what social media sites do you use?
Me: Livejournal.
Different Student: *entirely deadpan* What's livejournal?
I...broke down laughing on the desk because YUP!
2: I broke this rule once --Sparr tagged me in a post of him wearin' suits and I told him he looked hot. But I did not check the rest of my notifications!
3: Technically they call me neither Mx nor Whimsy, but in my journal, I have artistic license to lie about things like this.
4: I do not use Snapchat. Please do not send me snaps. Except, do, I guess? I'm Sorcyress, like everywhere else. I will screencap everything you send me, because obviously. I hate Snapchat more than any other social media I've ever touched, and not even in a "I hate Tumblr but I love it!" way. It just confuses me, I really don't get why we've swung back around to making it harder to collect photos of the people we love.
Digital cameras and webcams were sorta rare, and the few photos I had of faraway friends were awesome. And then they became big and people took selfies and posted cute profile pics on Facebook and I had so many and it was awesome! And now...we're...curating an archive that immediately disappears? I don't get it. Maybe I'm old now.
((PostScript: Yes, I realize I said no social media. But the rule is Publish or Perish, and creating content is an entirely different beast to consuming it.))