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Jul. 2nd, 2009 10:02 pmIt's late, and I am very *very* tired --it has been a really really draining past few weeks, with little chance to recharge.
But still. There is a substantial part of my brain which recognizes that this is the only night I'll have alone with my computer in a while. The problem with being a people filled house is that we're always full of people. So I complain of this --"Yes, I'm acting five. I should go to bed, but I don't waaaaanna!"
The answer is simple: "Then go out and DO something"
The solution is harder. It's Thursday night in Columbia, and I don't have a car. What is there that I can DO? I'm dressed for one certain subset of adventure --my newest short skirt, and no bra-- anything more proper would involve a change of clothing. The house was decreed family only, meaning there's not anyone here I can grab for an impromptu much of anything. Ten fifteen is not too late, no, but still later than I'd be willing to call most people.
On the one hand, maybe I should just go to sleep. But at the same time...fuck man, eventually I'm going to be a respectable schoolteacher and I'll *have* to be boring and risk-free. In the meantime, I wanna go DO things, be things! I want to dance like an idiot in a room full of people I'll never see again, want to go have a fling with a stranger, break someone else's heart for a change.
I think it really just is that I want to do something completely sociopathic, since I'm completely out of any ability to care about people anymore. I'm doing pretty well still with friends on the internet, talking through a computer screen, but when it comes to face to face interactions...?
Not happening. Not happening at all, and that means I really need to go ahead and figure out how to recharge my social meter. Time's the usual way, but judging by the way I feel...maybe I do need to put on the heels and go break some sweet boy's heart. No. No, it's not a good or nice thing to do at all. But every once in a while, I kinda need to be neither nice nor good.
Alas, my eyelids are closing rather outside myonw coice. Bailling on flag aceremony is thatw wnd. woi
RIGHT, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WAS TYPING. ((Or why I appear to have randomly gone from "I'm falling asleep" to "flag ceremony!" That means further anything will have to wait until tomorrow. Ta!
~Sor
MOOP!
But still. There is a substantial part of my brain which recognizes that this is the only night I'll have alone with my computer in a while. The problem with being a people filled house is that we're always full of people. So I complain of this --"Yes, I'm acting five. I should go to bed, but I don't waaaaanna!"
The answer is simple: "Then go out and DO something"
The solution is harder. It's Thursday night in Columbia, and I don't have a car. What is there that I can DO? I'm dressed for one certain subset of adventure --my newest short skirt, and no bra-- anything more proper would involve a change of clothing. The house was decreed family only, meaning there's not anyone here I can grab for an impromptu much of anything. Ten fifteen is not too late, no, but still later than I'd be willing to call most people.
On the one hand, maybe I should just go to sleep. But at the same time...fuck man, eventually I'm going to be a respectable schoolteacher and I'll *have* to be boring and risk-free. In the meantime, I wanna go DO things, be things! I want to dance like an idiot in a room full of people I'll never see again, want to go have a fling with a stranger, break someone else's heart for a change.
I think it really just is that I want to do something completely sociopathic, since I'm completely out of any ability to care about people anymore. I'm doing pretty well still with friends on the internet, talking through a computer screen, but when it comes to face to face interactions...?
Not happening. Not happening at all, and that means I really need to go ahead and figure out how to recharge my social meter. Time's the usual way, but judging by the way I feel...maybe I do need to put on the heels and go break some sweet boy's heart. No. No, it's not a good or nice thing to do at all. But every once in a while, I kinda need to be neither nice nor good.
Alas, my eyelids are closing rather outside my
RIGHT, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WAS TYPING. ((Or why I appear to have randomly gone from "I'm falling asleep" to "flag ceremony!" That means further anything will have to wait until tomorrow. Ta!
~Sor
MOOP!