~What's your type~

[sorcyress]

So, a theme for me lately has been the idea of types, as in "what are the physical types of humans who are most immediately attractive to you". And the answer is pretty easily "all of them, humans are so fucking hot".

But, in the spirit of a recent post by my samebrain friend, here is (and I quote) "A probably-incomplete and mostly-whimsical list of my types, in no particular order, as determined by having had crushes on or relationships with at least two people who fit each of them:"

• Tall, dark, skinny, long-haired people (usually but not always masc)


• Women (especially trans) who are tall and sturdy enough that I want to climb them like a tree


• Soft and shy and never-been-kissed nerds


• Queers, but especially the part where "I am a bad lesbian" and I've successfully dated almost no cis women because the people I kiss then turn out to not be. I've hard marginally more success with trans girls


• People who are really fucking good at dancing


• Fat girls in twirly skirts or cute dresses or overflowing corsets or nothing but soft belly and arms and legs


• People who are inordinately fond of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, to the point where it was a _thing_ for a while, and if I have ever handed you one of those with a weird smirk on it was a test and I'm not sorry for it


• Kink nerds, like, people who are specifically super nerdy about How To Kink Well and double especially when it's rope


• Photographers


• Boys who stop to take pictures of mushrooms when we're on a walk (I have a triptych of photos of my three current boyfriends¹ doing just this.)


• Charming British or EnZed accents, although tbqh, kSatyr did pretty much fuck that one up for me since


• Firecrotches (and yes, specifically the pubic hair, and yes I feel like a horrendeous perv for this one but yeah, it is definitely a thing I Notice)


• Subby bratty boys who can't decide on a safeword because they're too literal and what if we do need to discuss [whatever] in the context of our kink scene (okay, I've only had that specific conversation with one person but I definitely *could've* had it with multiple people I've crushed on)


• Silly sweet doms who won't let anything hurt me except them, but oh, they will hurt me :3


• People who I wait forever before kissing, like, if there's not multiple years of mutual pining what are we even doing?


• People who I kiss a few hours after meeting them


• ...especially if I can then send a photo of us kissing to another attractive person


• ............look if you manage to complete the full loop and create a triptych of photos in which you are kissing one of the people and sending the photo to a different person you are going to brag about it sometimes too


• Himbos (strong, stupid, kind --if it's not the trifecta it's not a real himbo! accept no imitations!)


• Boys who are extremely fae, like, the slightly terrifying otherworldly kind, not the twee kind with glitter, although also they do tend to glitter


• People who have kink scene fantasies as dark as some of mine but are brave enough to actually act them out because play is so good, even when the things you are playing with are bad²


• "You can't actually claim not to like puns, you've made out with [person notorious for puns]" in response for me trying to be dramatic about a cutie making a pun, so I guess puns.


• Good at cybering, recognize that sex is fictional and we can just adapt to having as many arms as we need in the moment


• No one who is the same age as me ever, apparently

Part of this conversation was me having it with some friends where we were talking about how I'm into the first two categories, and then someone said "I've only ever dated three people so I don't know what my types are" and I immediately catapulted into "ah yes, this is my third category, right"

(That third category --never been kissed nerds-- is one of my hardest types to bear, since I did actually date someone with zero relationship experience once and it went poorly and I have had over a decade of _never fucking again_. I am a wonderful person to date, but I am not relationship 101 material, and I can't be patient enough with someone to be that for them, it will just hurt both of us. Please fuck around before finding out [what it's like to date me.])

~Sor

1: I have four current partners, but only three of them are boys. I would be happy to add my girlfriend to this list, so need to go on enough walks in the woods that eventually I get a photo of her taking a photo of mushrooms.

2: This was a hard one to phrase. Pain is bad. Mindfucks are bad. Taking away people's options or choices is bad. Part of kink is agreeing in advance to do some of these things in a controlled and safer manner, and that contract makes these things no longer bad, but there's definitely still some level where part of the appeal is "oh gosh, I am doing something bad" even when you would stop immediately if it was actually bad. Anyways, maybe I should've put quotes around "bad", but also I wanna be clear that playing with pain is way up there in how I interact with the world.