(no subject)
Aug. 12th, 2019 11:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressI just put two facts together.
Fact number 1: My dancefriend Jen has two children (approximately aged 11 and 9), both of whom I enjoy interacting with and the older of which definitely adores me and likes hanging out with me. This is great! I like having friends who are kids and being able to interact positively with wee ones, and I tend to think it's more-cute-than-exhausting to have wee minions hanging on my every word. I'm glad Jen seems to be pleased too, and happy that her kids get on with me, and me with them.
Fact number 2: Jen is one of the people at dance who consistently genders me correctly. She might be the only person who's not a close friend who does so. She's certainly the only person on either of the committees we're mutually on who I've observed doing it.
Putting these facts together means that Jen recognizes that I am genderweird, and is still okay with me interacting with he children and look, I know I didn't grow up in the heart of the AIDS crisis, I know I've never been a gay man and I won't ever have to deal with that particular level of pain from being default-predatory, but holy shit there's still a lot of internalized Big Queer Trauma that comes from being part of a world that thinks my existence is innately harmful to children, and "too adult".
And Jen doesn't think that. She knows I'm strange, she doesn't think that's automatically bad, something to protect her children from.
I'm kinda crying now, and there's no way I can thank her for this that doesn't just introduce a lot *more* awkward, but...yeah. Sometimes the world is not awful.
~Sor
MOOP!
Fact number 1: My dancefriend Jen has two children (approximately aged 11 and 9), both of whom I enjoy interacting with and the older of which definitely adores me and likes hanging out with me. This is great! I like having friends who are kids and being able to interact positively with wee ones, and I tend to think it's more-cute-than-exhausting to have wee minions hanging on my every word. I'm glad Jen seems to be pleased too, and happy that her kids get on with me, and me with them.
Fact number 2: Jen is one of the people at dance who consistently genders me correctly. She might be the only person who's not a close friend who does so. She's certainly the only person on either of the committees we're mutually on who I've observed doing it.
Putting these facts together means that Jen recognizes that I am genderweird, and is still okay with me interacting with he children and look, I know I didn't grow up in the heart of the AIDS crisis, I know I've never been a gay man and I won't ever have to deal with that particular level of pain from being default-predatory, but holy shit there's still a lot of internalized Big Queer Trauma that comes from being part of a world that thinks my existence is innately harmful to children, and "too adult".
And Jen doesn't think that. She knows I'm strange, she doesn't think that's automatically bad, something to protect her children from.
I'm kinda crying now, and there's no way I can thank her for this that doesn't just introduce a lot *more* awkward, but...yeah. Sometimes the world is not awful.
~Sor
MOOP!
no subject
on 2019-08-12 08:20 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2019-08-12 10:16 pm (UTC)FWIW, the only reason I do not pester you to come over and play with my kids more is that I'm aware you have a super-busy life and I don't want to impose. You're more than welcome to do so anytime!
(Also, they have both taken to Pokeman pretty hard over the last year. You speak that language more than I. :)