I don't feel I deserve kudos for not outing them. If I thought they were still dangerous, or dangerous to other people, I sure as hell would, because I don't believe in keeping that sort of thing a secret. But I think there was a lot of our particular situation that manifested worse than would with someone else, and, from what little I know, I haven't heard of them taking other partners. I am largely out of that social circle, these days.
(I don't know how I would react if they did take another partner, and it was someone I knew. It seems overly dramatic to say "bee-tee-dubs, your partner's an ass" but I would not want this to blindside people.)
I am sure I will see more of it in my life, but equally sure that I will not stand for it. I expect more of it to damage my friends, because I was always closed off and untrusting when it comes to intimacy, and this did not make me better at that.
I have dated several people who are "crazy" in several ways. I am probably the most broken person out of everyone in my first-degree polyweb (I deign not to speak for my partners' partners, most of whom I don't know), but I am, and have been for some time now, an extremely functional broken. This partner was indeed more broken than I was, and at a time when I didn't know how to repair as well. I remain unable to put in the effort to repair that degree, and I admire and thank my current partners who do so.
I do not feel comfortable letting you in the filter. I'm sorry...it's a complicated situation, and I am very cautious with that.
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ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2011-10-12 09:36 pm (UTC)(I don't know how I would react if they did take another partner, and it was someone I knew. It seems overly dramatic to say "bee-tee-dubs, your partner's an ass" but I would not want this to blindside people.)
I am sure I will see more of it in my life, but equally sure that I will not stand for it. I expect more of it to damage my friends, because I was always closed off and untrusting when it comes to intimacy, and this did not make me better at that.
I have dated several people who are "crazy" in several ways. I am probably the most broken person out of everyone in my first-degree polyweb (I deign not to speak for my partners' partners, most of whom I don't know), but I am, and have been for some time now, an extremely functional broken. This partner was indeed more broken than I was, and at a time when I didn't know how to repair as well. I remain unable to put in the effort to repair that degree, and I admire and thank my current partners who do so.
I do not feel comfortable letting you in the filter. I'm sorry...it's a complicated situation, and I am very cautious with that.
Thank you.
~Sor