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Feb. 4th, 2010 02:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressSo, yesterday evening, I pull open the top drawer of my desk for something. "Oh right" thinks I. "I should eat the last square of chocolate (the good kind) and throw out that wrapper.
So I pick up the wrapper which seems curiously light. And gee golly whillikers, if there isn't an awful lot of shredded foil all across my drawer. Huh.
Gee, I wonder. What shreads the wrappers of things containing food. Oh that's right. Mice.
You wanna know what gives me panic attacks? Well, thinking about the men1 who have significantly fucked me up, but besides that, want to know?
Mice. Mice, and rats, and goddamn hamsters give me panic attacks. I cannot function with rodents. I think the technical word is "phobia".
So, I'm sitting there, taking things out of my drawer --the drawer that contains my checkbook, and all the wires to my computers, and my meds, and all sorts of other nicely chewable substances-- and crying, because that's what happens when I start to freak out. I cry.
Eventually, Maddie comes home, and helps me get distracted, and we move everything off the floor, and vacuum like hell, because MICE ARE NOT PERMITTED IN MY HOME OH HELL NO. And in between the vacumming, we observe that no other food product in the entire room has been touched by mousey bastards, up to and including the box containing cracker crumbs that was just lying on the floor next to the trash can. Which is kinda, you know. Weird.
So I come up with this list, which Maddie transcribes, of what might have happened:
Also, written down in this list is the phrase "I AM A GODESS OF DOMESTICITY." Which I'm pretty sure is something I said in between posing with the vacuum.
Oh yeah, I'm hot:
Soyeah. Mice.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: Yes, this is sexist. But I consider about two people to have done significant psychological damage to me, and they're both male. So nyah.
So I pick up the wrapper which seems curiously light. And gee golly whillikers, if there isn't an awful lot of shredded foil all across my drawer. Huh.
Gee, I wonder. What shreads the wrappers of things containing food. Oh that's right. Mice.
You wanna know what gives me panic attacks? Well, thinking about the men1 who have significantly fucked me up, but besides that, want to know?
Mice. Mice, and rats, and goddamn hamsters give me panic attacks. I cannot function with rodents. I think the technical word is "phobia".
So, I'm sitting there, taking things out of my drawer --the drawer that contains my checkbook, and all the wires to my computers, and my meds, and all sorts of other nicely chewable substances-- and crying, because that's what happens when I start to freak out. I cry.
Eventually, Maddie comes home, and helps me get distracted, and we move everything off the floor, and vacuum like hell, because MICE ARE NOT PERMITTED IN MY HOME OH HELL NO. And in between the vacumming, we observe that no other food product in the entire room has been touched by mousey bastards, up to and including the box containing cracker crumbs that was just lying on the floor next to the trash can. Which is kinda, you know. Weird.
So I come up with this list, which Maddie transcribes, of what might have happened:
- There is actually a mouse
- This mouse likes chocolate. REALLY likes chocolate. Like really, man.
- It is indeed a chocolate demon!
- This will end in sobs. (A/N: This wasn't a theory, it was in reference to me using the vacuum to vacuum the top drawer of my desk. Surprisingly, it *didn't* end in sobs.)
- Somehow, the person who lived here before us left mouse treats to spite us! And somehow we did not see them….. they floated in the air. (Which is to say, we moved the desk to that corner when we moved in, so the mouse treats left there just...floated until the desk was there.)
- Aliens… oh shit!
- Something HATES chocolate. And disintegrated it!
- God Really Really wanted us to vacuum.(since we were talking about maybe doing that earlier in the afternoon)
Also, written down in this list is the phrase "I AM A GODESS OF DOMESTICITY." Which I'm pretty sure is something I said in between posing with the vacuum.
Oh yeah, I'm hot:
Soyeah. Mice.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: Yes, this is sexist. But I consider about two people to have done significant psychological damage to me, and they're both male. So nyah.