1. Remove two slices of bread from bag. 2. Separate and place on a flat surface so the faces which were previously touching now both face up. This is important! Misaligned bread is evil. 3. Spread peanut butter (preferably with bits of peanut still in it, certainly with peanuts [and, optionally, salt] as the only ingredients) on one slice of bread with a knife. 3.a. If packing sandwich for travel, spread peanut butter on the other slice as well to protect the bread. 4. Spread jelly on face of other slice of bread. You may use the same knife, but if you're using it to get the jelly out of the jar, wipe it very carefully on the available bread face. Only uncultured heathens get peanut butter into the jelly jar. Spread thickly, but leave a slight gap around the edge to avoid spooge. 5.a. Optional: stick the whole thing in the toaster oven for extra deliciousness. 5.b. Optional: for even more deliciousness, melt some butter in a frying pan and brown the sandwich in that instead, kind of like making grilled cheese. 6. Cut sandwich in half on the diagonal. It's actually better. I only learned this recently, but it makes sense. Triangles are more stable than rectangles. 7. Don't forget to clean up after yourself promptly, you don't want to be a boor.
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ninetydegrees
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on 2009-08-12 05:06 pm (UTC)2. Separate and place on a flat surface so the faces which were previously touching now both face up. This is important! Misaligned bread is evil.
3. Spread peanut butter (preferably with bits of peanut still in it, certainly with peanuts [and, optionally, salt] as the only ingredients) on one slice of bread with a knife.
3.a. If packing sandwich for travel, spread peanut butter on the other slice as well to protect the bread.
4. Spread jelly on face of other slice of bread. You may use the same knife, but if you're using it to get the jelly out of the jar, wipe it very carefully on the available bread face. Only uncultured heathens get peanut butter into the jelly jar. Spread thickly, but leave a slight gap around the edge to avoid spooge.
5.a. Optional: stick the whole thing in the toaster oven for extra deliciousness.
5.b. Optional: for even more deliciousness, melt some butter in a frying pan and brown the sandwich in that instead, kind of like making grilled cheese.
6. Cut sandwich in half on the diagonal. It's actually better. I only learned this recently, but it makes sense. Triangles are more stable than rectangles.
7. Don't forget to clean up after yourself promptly, you don't want to be a boor.
The apostrophe means me? I'm so special!