Most everybody has said what i would have said already, but i do want to toss in my 2 cents worth mainly in the direction of being able to have physical contact without it having to be sexual... Because of my experiences with samesuch & my own dawning realization things sexual in my own self.
'cause you see... after living with 2 different husbands both who were obsessed with sex & having the first one accuse me of being frigid because of his own impotence and the second literally not being able to have physical contact without it being sexual in nature, i ended up really kinda messed up about the whole thing. (not to mention having lost my virginity via date-rape.)
And so i pretty much decided that i really really Hated Sex and anything to do with it (oh & did i mention the conditioning by the Catholic Church? How it's evil & sinful & so on?) and oh why oh why did everyone have to make out about how it was so damn important (more so than other things in a relationship/marriage/whatever)? i became the crusader for the platonic.
And then W came along. He too hated sex but other reasons than mine. (which i'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind me telling you but yarrr, i'm not comfortable saying so in a public forum, don't care what he thinks about it ;P) And we found comfort in each other's want/need/desire for touch that did NOT lead to anything.
i have since then come around from the other side of that, faced a lot of demons (with the help of W & Swinger) and although i'm not 100% with stuffnthings, a lot of things have gotten better. i know that i am bisexual & that's okay. i know that i love to hug/snug/cuddle. it makes me feel good. i also can now handle a sexual encounter/relationship & enjoy it.
i'm not sure if this babbling is of any use at all but somehow it feels to me that in telling you such things, that perhaps it can help you feel okay with yourself either way.
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ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2007-12-05 03:44 pm (UTC)'cause you see... after living with 2 different husbands both who were obsessed with sex & having the first one accuse me of being frigid because of his own impotence and the second literally not being able to have physical contact without it being sexual in nature, i ended up really kinda messed up about the whole thing. (not to mention having lost my virginity via date-rape.)
And so i pretty much decided that i really really Hated Sex and anything to do with it (oh & did i mention the conditioning by the Catholic Church? How it's evil & sinful & so on?) and oh why oh why did everyone have to make out about how it was so damn important (more so than other things in a relationship/marriage/whatever)? i became the crusader for the platonic.
And then W came along. He too hated sex but other reasons than mine. (which i'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind me telling you but yarrr, i'm not comfortable saying so in a public forum, don't care what he thinks about it ;P) And we found comfort in each other's want/need/desire for touch that did NOT lead to anything.
i have since then come around from the other side of that, faced a lot of demons (with the help of W & Swinger) and although i'm not 100% with stuffnthings, a lot of things have gotten better. i know that i am bisexual & that's okay. i know that i love to hug/snug/cuddle. it makes me feel good. i also can now handle a sexual encounter/relationship & enjoy it.
i'm not sure if this babbling is of any use at all but somehow it feels to me that in telling you such things, that perhaps it can help you feel okay with yourself either way.