hate to side with the grown-ups, here, but some battles just aren't worth fighting.
[or maybe that's just my had-to-wear-a-tie-every-single-day-in-high-school side talking.]
the goal is the diploma. grin and bear it, get across the stage, get the paper, get through the ceremony intact, get on to boston. you're probably going to want to hang around and get some pictures taken with your friends afterwards, and you can't do that if you've been kicked off the premises. nor do you want to be the one who has to say "can we take a picture or two without everyone else holding up their diplomas? because i didn't actually get mine today."
remember, this is an official ceremony on private property. they're not stifling your right to free expression, because you don't actually have that right in these circumstances. they can say that everyone has to wear a kilt and fishnet stockings and carry a haddock if they want to. (which would actually make for a stunningly cool senior portrait, in my opinion). in the end, it's their party. you've earned a spot on the guest list, but it's a privilege, not a right, and they're completely justified in revoking it if you show contempt for the rules.
on the other hand: doesn't mean you have to like it.
but, seriously. ten years from now, twenty, thirty, it's so not going to matter. there may even come a day when you're glad to be in as many different family photo albums as you are -- specifically because they wanted a picture of their niece/godson/granddaughter with you in your nice outfit -- instead of balking at taking a picture of the troublemaker in the duct tape and construction paper who was trying to make some kind of "statement."
most importantly: at some point in your nascent young adulthood, you're eventually going to have to appear before a judge. or go on a job interview. or need a bank loan. or talk your way through a grant application. or in some other way be placed in an unfair situation where someone with power, someone old-fashioned, someone with traditional expectations and values, will be the one making a decision that will affect your future, and at least part of that decision will be based on how you present yourself. in that circumstance, so-called church clothes -- a conservative outfit, in white or other light pastel colors, comprised entirely of girl clothes (most likely including both a skirt and, yes, pantyhose) -- will be worth more to you than you can possibly imagine. no, it's not fair. yes, it sucks. but it's the way the game will continue to be rigged for some time to come, and sometimes you have to ride the dragon instead of trying to slay it.
my $.02: see about getting a graduation gift parlayed into a gift card a few days before the ceremony rather than after. and make sure the dress is something you can twirl in. :)
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ninetydegrees
sir not appearing in this yearbook
on 2007-05-14 04:38 pm (UTC)[or maybe that's just my had-to-wear-a-tie-every-single-day-in-high-school side talking.]
the goal is the diploma. grin and bear it, get across the stage, get the paper, get through the ceremony intact, get on to boston. you're probably going to want to hang around and get some pictures taken with your friends afterwards, and you can't do that if you've been kicked off the premises. nor do you want to be the one who has to say "can we take a picture or two without everyone else holding up their diplomas? because i didn't actually get mine today."
remember, this is an official ceremony on private property. they're not stifling your right to free expression, because you don't actually have that right in these circumstances. they can say that everyone has to wear a kilt and fishnet stockings and carry a haddock if they want to. (which would actually make for a stunningly cool senior portrait, in my opinion). in the end, it's their party. you've earned a spot on the guest list, but it's a privilege, not a right, and they're completely justified in revoking it if you show contempt for the rules.
on the other hand: doesn't mean you have to like it.
but, seriously. ten years from now, twenty, thirty, it's so not going to matter. there may even come a day when you're glad to be in as many different family photo albums as you are -- specifically because they wanted a picture of their niece/godson/granddaughter with you in your nice outfit -- instead of balking at taking a picture of the troublemaker in the duct tape and construction paper who was trying to make some kind of "statement."
most importantly: at some point in your nascent young adulthood, you're eventually going to have to appear before a judge. or go on a job interview. or need a bank loan. or talk your way through a grant application. or in some other way be placed in an unfair situation where someone with power, someone old-fashioned, someone with traditional expectations and values, will be the one making a decision that will affect your future, and at least part of that decision will be based on how you present yourself. in that circumstance, so-called church clothes -- a conservative outfit, in white or other light pastel colors, comprised entirely of girl clothes (most likely including both a skirt and, yes, pantyhose) -- will be worth more to you than you can possibly imagine. no, it's not fair. yes, it sucks. but it's the way the game will continue to be rigged for some time to come, and sometimes you have to ride the dragon instead of trying to slay it.
my $.02: see about getting a graduation gift parlayed into a gift card a few days before the ceremony rather than after. and make sure the dress is something you can twirl in. :)