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Apr. 6th, 2019 10:41 pmThis morning, I posted a photo to twitter of an all-white pigeon, and declared it a good omen for today. That was...not totally accurate, but I do think overall in the long run today there was more good than bad.
The Bad:
*Bells did not get started until super late, and I had to leave early, which meant all I did today was ring up two bells and do one plain course of Plain Bob Minor. Annnnd...
*Immediately before PBM, I failed a tone roll in what I was saying to Austin and he asked me not to snap at him1 and so I was all shaky with myself and focusing on that instead of on PMB, and as it turns out, I still _super need to focus_ to do Bob correctly.
*Brain was weird and anxious for that2 plus No Good Reason when I taught my lesson OH AND THERE WAS A DOG? Right, that is a Good Reason for my brain to freak out, I _super_ do not like having small dogs in the same space as me, especially when they're not on their leash(?!) and the fact that it just strolled through the dancing space during my teaching and then never returned is like...super weird and upsetting. Anyways, now I have to send an awkward email to my mentor being all "hey, can you please ensure that there not be random small dogs in the room when I'm teaching because they stress me the fuck out and a stressed and anxious teacher does not do a good job".
*Anyways, I actually did a pretty good lesson3, but then Susie-mentor gave me some critiques, which is one hundred percent her job, and the critiques were valid4 and genuinely helpful and BOY my brain did not like that and immediately started pointing out to me that I am dumb and The Worst. Thanks brain. Youuuu suck.
But honestly, that was about it!
The Good:
*In the post-dancing report, first of all, Susiementor had nice things to say about my lesson to the rest of the class, including her saying she's gonna steal my practice exercise for preparing rights and lefts (as did another dancer!) so that's great! My lessons are good, I am doing well, and I can still be better!
*Also, like four times in a row Susie misgendered me and immediately corrected herself without me even prompting. And you know what? That is one hundred percent fine. "She was doing th--they were doing this" is exactly what I want. It doesn't need "sorry" every time, it doesn't need prostrating yourself on the alter of my mercy, it just needs...doing it again right. So especially after last Sunday at demo team, this was a *very* welcome thing.
*Everyone was late to bells except me and Ricky, which means me and Ricky had a pretty quality like twenty minutes just chilling out and chatting and going through old ropes to see if they're useful. I like *all* my bellsfriends, and am really happy to have such a good group of people in my life, but Ricky may be one of my favourites.
*At dancing, Clara brought her little Pingwing friend, and I had Beatrize, Bun-Emperor of the Netherrealms5 and we got some cute photos of them cuddling with each other at the table at the front of dance while people did the thing.
*Near the end of dance practice, Thom-friend and I were talking about rides home and he mentioned he was getting dinner with Val-friend but could bring me along if she was cool with it. Which she was! So I ate a _fucking amazing_ dinner with the two of them, and we all chattered and had a nice time and it was so very lovely. Then Thom and I drove home, and that was also lovely.
*I've never played my silly geo-game in Salem, it turns out, and so I did that today! I managed to upgrade a bunch of my items, including finding 3 of the 47 over-10,000 items I had left (lower numbers better).
*My dance teaching is good, damnit, and only getting better. That's not a small thing!
So what do you think? Was the all white pigeon a good omen?
~Sor
MOOP!
1: He was justified, I definitely did not land the "slightly playful teasing" I was aiming for, and knew it as soon as I said it. Foot, meet mouth.
2: My brain is pretty good at catastrophizing, especially in and around interpersonal relationships, so yeah, the fact that I did something dumb means I had Ruined Everything, nevermind that I nearly immediately apologized, and that Austin accepted the apology and did not seem particularly upset then or later. SO YEAH.
3: I am allowed to be arrogant about teaching. I am allowed to be arrogant about Scottish dance. Say it enough times it becomes true.
4: Nothing major, just that I took a little too long and need to be more time-mindful, and that I should've added one more exercise to focus on a transition I skimmed past. Both good to know!
5: She's a small, very round, plush bunny that Austin bought me at Easthill. She has gone _basically everywhere_ with me for the last month. Also, one of my favourite students knows of her existence and will occasionally hold onto her during class for anxiety management and if that isn't the greatest teacher-feel in the world I don't know what is.
The Bad:
*Bells did not get started until super late, and I had to leave early, which meant all I did today was ring up two bells and do one plain course of Plain Bob Minor. Annnnd...
*Immediately before PBM, I failed a tone roll in what I was saying to Austin and he asked me not to snap at him1 and so I was all shaky with myself and focusing on that instead of on PMB, and as it turns out, I still _super need to focus_ to do Bob correctly.
*Brain was weird and anxious for that2 plus No Good Reason when I taught my lesson OH AND THERE WAS A DOG? Right, that is a Good Reason for my brain to freak out, I _super_ do not like having small dogs in the same space as me, especially when they're not on their leash(?!) and the fact that it just strolled through the dancing space during my teaching and then never returned is like...super weird and upsetting. Anyways, now I have to send an awkward email to my mentor being all "hey, can you please ensure that there not be random small dogs in the room when I'm teaching because they stress me the fuck out and a stressed and anxious teacher does not do a good job".
*Anyways, I actually did a pretty good lesson3, but then Susie-mentor gave me some critiques, which is one hundred percent her job, and the critiques were valid4 and genuinely helpful and BOY my brain did not like that and immediately started pointing out to me that I am dumb and The Worst. Thanks brain. Youuuu suck.
But honestly, that was about it!
The Good:
*In the post-dancing report, first of all, Susiementor had nice things to say about my lesson to the rest of the class, including her saying she's gonna steal my practice exercise for preparing rights and lefts (as did another dancer!) so that's great! My lessons are good, I am doing well, and I can still be better!
*Also, like four times in a row Susie misgendered me and immediately corrected herself without me even prompting. And you know what? That is one hundred percent fine. "She was doing th--they were doing this" is exactly what I want. It doesn't need "sorry" every time, it doesn't need prostrating yourself on the alter of my mercy, it just needs...doing it again right. So especially after last Sunday at demo team, this was a *very* welcome thing.
*Everyone was late to bells except me and Ricky, which means me and Ricky had a pretty quality like twenty minutes just chilling out and chatting and going through old ropes to see if they're useful. I like *all* my bellsfriends, and am really happy to have such a good group of people in my life, but Ricky may be one of my favourites.
*At dancing, Clara brought her little Pingwing friend, and I had Beatrize, Bun-Emperor of the Netherrealms5 and we got some cute photos of them cuddling with each other at the table at the front of dance while people did the thing.
*Near the end of dance practice, Thom-friend and I were talking about rides home and he mentioned he was getting dinner with Val-friend but could bring me along if she was cool with it. Which she was! So I ate a _fucking amazing_ dinner with the two of them, and we all chattered and had a nice time and it was so very lovely. Then Thom and I drove home, and that was also lovely.
*I've never played my silly geo-game in Salem, it turns out, and so I did that today! I managed to upgrade a bunch of my items, including finding 3 of the 47 over-10,000 items I had left (lower numbers better).
*My dance teaching is good, damnit, and only getting better. That's not a small thing!
So what do you think? Was the all white pigeon a good omen?
~Sor
MOOP!
1: He was justified, I definitely did not land the "slightly playful teasing" I was aiming for, and knew it as soon as I said it. Foot, meet mouth.
2: My brain is pretty good at catastrophizing, especially in and around interpersonal relationships, so yeah, the fact that I did something dumb means I had Ruined Everything, nevermind that I nearly immediately apologized, and that Austin accepted the apology and did not seem particularly upset then or later. SO YEAH.
3: I am allowed to be arrogant about teaching. I am allowed to be arrogant about Scottish dance. Say it enough times it becomes true.
4: Nothing major, just that I took a little too long and need to be more time-mindful, and that I should've added one more exercise to focus on a transition I skimmed past. Both good to know!
5: She's a small, very round, plush bunny that Austin bought me at Easthill. She has gone _basically everywhere_ with me for the last month. Also, one of my favourite students knows of her existence and will occasionally hold onto her during class for anxiety management and if that isn't the greatest teacher-feel in the world I don't know what is.