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May. 14th, 2008 02:46 pmSo, part of cleaning my room is working my way through the GIANT PILE OF DOOM I MEAN PAPER!
Part of *that* is sifting out all the papers that I'm only saving because they have a cute quote or something on them, the sort of thing that I can just as easily toss into a text file and recycle the paper copy. Because, remember kids, recycling is good for you!
So, some hits from Sorcy's past. You're not getting the whole file, both because it has passwords in it, and because it's long and kinda boring. But I'll toss you some of the more entertaining things I've written. [Authors notes are in brackets]
*************
[Written by Aly]
Search Warrent:
this search warrent gives the keeper, Aly [lastname], permission to search the suspect's, Kat [lastname]'s, room for guns, Iocane powder, and cocane.
Sam Gamgee - Mayor of the Shire
[Reverse]
SERCH WARRENT
This serch warrent gives Kat [lastname] to serch and seize her "messy room = happy room" sticker and her "Aly owes me card.
(signed) Kat [lastname]
[Ohyeah. Whenever possible, I left the original horrible spelling and grammar intact. Because I am just that kind.]
*************
1530
Erasmus of Rotterdam writes On Civility in Children, advising, among other things, "If you cannot swallow a piece of food, turn around discreetly and throw it somewhere."
[Fact on a Far Side calendar]
*************
How to babysit:
There are 2 types of children: Those who's parents think are the most wonderful angelic brightest smartest kids ever, and those who are not the first/only child.
They will either have massive amounts of tasty food that you can't eat or massive amounts of horrendous food you can eat. Or both.
Never babysit kids in dipers, especially boys. Boys will pee on you happily.
Keep in mind that the first 5 dozen times or so, the parents are actually hiding in the basement.
It doesn't matter weather or not you tell people on the phone that youre the babysitter, they'll figure it out anyway.
Learn to love Vegitales, Baby einstine, Thomas, Dora, Blues Clues, and 10 billion other kids movies.
Kids are smarter then you. You get paid below minimum wage to watch bratty children. They get to abuse you for free, which is highly entertaining to them.
[All written circa ninth or tenth grade, when I was regularly sitting on Koob. Most were heinous exaggerations. For example, I only think I ever got peed on once.]
*************
C A F G F D A# G G G F E F G C A F G F D A# G G G F E F GO DUMPLES!
[My guess is that it's the CGNU fight song, from Strongbad. I haven't gone down to the piano to test yet.]
*************
F>U-IRC?R+RM---HPSL+++FW+++SFR-WB>GN>-AID&M+BRRPG+FDS-BSL+NP++W>++++I>++E>
[I, uh, have no idea what sort of geek code this is. I think I only ever bothered writing them down for the original geek code and for College Roomies From Hell. It's probably the second, but hell, damned if I actually know.]
*************
Now we don't just make out. We make out with a PURPOSE!
[Beth Sylvia?]
*************
Drama- The high school play of intrigue and setting things on fire
*************
"Therefore we must be mad." "Nice day for it"
"Ford" he said "you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
*42
*This must be Thursday...I never could get the hang of Thursdays
*Drink up, the worlds about to end
*What is the sum of six by nine
*MOOP!
*I know where my towel is
*HOOPY FROOD
*"Apathetic bloody planet, I've no sympathy at all"
*President of the IMperial Galactic Government
*"I'm so hip I have trouble seeing over my pelvis"
*Don't panic
*The galaxy's a fun place. You'll need to have this fish in your ear. You just come along with me and have a good time.
[I think this was a list of things I wanted on buttons. It's pretty much *still* a list of things I want on buttons, really.]
*************
Red Octane
1/2 gal .
20 oz Mountain Dew
1 red bull
1 sobe adreniline Rush
1 Amp
3 tblspoons Grenadine
[I...don't...know. I really really don't. It seems...dangerous.
*************
CHALLANGE!
Can you answer the following questions using ONLY the titles of books on your bookshelf? Go ahead, I dare you to...
Favourites: What is your favourite...
...name
...food
...place
....Day
...month
...color
...animal
...toy
...song
Other - What is your...
...motto
...Dream Carrer
[If I ever finished this, it would be a cute meme.]
*************
She's an intolerent homophobic overbearing bitch who refuses to see her faults and won't talk to those she's having issues with.
He's sweet if a tad dirty minded (a tad) who helps me release my more violent tendacies and I have no clue why I like him so much.
They fight crime.
[No, I'm not telling you who they are. I know though, so nyah nyah.]
*************
lovely delicate gamer lucious wet smooth smart red hot gorgeous virgin babes who don't stop moaning and pleasing my sweet meat by using honey
[So, we have these magnetic poetry sets. Including the Dragon*Con one, which is slightly more risque. And we have a regular visitor to the house named Josh.
One day, Josh put up near the top of the fridge 'wet hot babes'. He would threaten us with incredible pain if anyone dared to move it. So, it didn't move, but as he found more words, it grew.
Mom eventually decided that it probably shouldn't stay on the fridge since she didn't want to have to answer awkward questions from parents or any of that. But before she took it down, I managed to scrawl down the current incarnation.
(I think it's since been put back up, again merely as 'wet hot babes'.)]
*************
[BFF = Best Friend Forever. BFFWB = Best Friend Forever...With Benefits!]
A BFF will share her chapstick with you
A BFFWB will help you apply it...by putting it on her own lips and snogging you thoroughly
A BFF will help you adjust your bra so it fits right
A BFFWB will help you adjust your bra so you're not wearing it
A BFF will sit in your lap in order to save space at parties
A BFFWB will sit in your lap.
A BFF will know you better than you know yourself
A BFFWB will know you --in the biblical sense
A BFF will tell you how cute you look in that sexy new dress you bought
A BFFWB won't be able to say anything, they're staring so hard
[When my (now ex) girlfriend Blue came out to her mom about the two of us dating, one of the things her mom said was "Can't you just be B-F-F's?" When Blue recounted the story, it made me snort derisively and say something along the lines of "No, because I don't want to snog my best friend."
And...uhm...yeah. I'm actually kinda charmed by some of them, it could become a great new little e-mail forward or something. Clearly, there needs to be something about sleeping over and possibly about sharing beds.]
*************
Andyeah. This is what I'm going to be doing with my life, all fucking summer. I'm going to be slowly reducing the number of notebooks I own by typing up huge amounts of stories and the like, some of which will be mentally (or emotionally) painful for me to read. I will possibly be posting huge amounts of it all to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
katarina_tales, my writing journal.
In the meantime though, I'm hungry and there are leftover pancrepes in the fridge for me to put jam on and eat. Ta!
~Sor
MOOP!
ETA: I posted some of the more writingish ones over inkatarina_tales, go take a look!
Part of *that* is sifting out all the papers that I'm only saving because they have a cute quote or something on them, the sort of thing that I can just as easily toss into a text file and recycle the paper copy. Because, remember kids, recycling is good for you!
So, some hits from Sorcy's past. You're not getting the whole file, both because it has passwords in it, and because it's long and kinda boring. But I'll toss you some of the more entertaining things I've written. [Authors notes are in brackets]
*************
[Written by Aly]
Search Warrent:
this search warrent gives the keeper, Aly [lastname], permission to search the suspect's, Kat [lastname]'s, room for guns, Iocane powder, and cocane.
Sam Gamgee - Mayor of the Shire
[Reverse]
SERCH WARRENT
This serch warrent gives Kat [lastname] to serch and seize her "messy room = happy room" sticker and her "Aly owes me card.
(signed) Kat [lastname]
[Ohyeah. Whenever possible, I left the original horrible spelling and grammar intact. Because I am just that kind.]
*************
1530
Erasmus of Rotterdam writes On Civility in Children, advising, among other things, "If you cannot swallow a piece of food, turn around discreetly and throw it somewhere."
[Fact on a Far Side calendar]
*************
How to babysit:
There are 2 types of children: Those who's parents think are the most wonderful angelic brightest smartest kids ever, and those who are not the first/only child.
They will either have massive amounts of tasty food that you can't eat or massive amounts of horrendous food you can eat. Or both.
Never babysit kids in dipers, especially boys. Boys will pee on you happily.
Keep in mind that the first 5 dozen times or so, the parents are actually hiding in the basement.
It doesn't matter weather or not you tell people on the phone that youre the babysitter, they'll figure it out anyway.
Learn to love Vegitales, Baby einstine, Thomas, Dora, Blues Clues, and 10 billion other kids movies.
Kids are smarter then you. You get paid below minimum wage to watch bratty children. They get to abuse you for free, which is highly entertaining to them.
[All written circa ninth or tenth grade, when I was regularly sitting on Koob. Most were heinous exaggerations. For example, I only think I ever got peed on once.]
*************
C A F G F D A# G G G F E F G C A F G F D A# G G G F E F GO DUMPLES!
[My guess is that it's the CGNU fight song, from Strongbad. I haven't gone down to the piano to test yet.]
*************
F>U-IRC?R+RM---HPSL+++FW+++SFR-WB>GN>-AID&M+BRRPG+FDS-BSL+NP++W>++++I>++E>
[I, uh, have no idea what sort of geek code this is. I think I only ever bothered writing them down for the original geek code and for College Roomies From Hell. It's probably the second, but hell, damned if I actually know.]
*************
Now we don't just make out. We make out with a PURPOSE!
[Beth Sylvia?]
*************
Drama- The high school play of intrigue and setting things on fire
*************
"Therefore we must be mad." "Nice day for it"
"Ford" he said "you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."
*42
*This must be Thursday...I never could get the hang of Thursdays
*Drink up, the worlds about to end
*What is the sum of six by nine
*MOOP!
*I know where my towel is
*HOOPY FROOD
*"Apathetic bloody planet, I've no sympathy at all"
*President of the IMperial Galactic Government
*"I'm so hip I have trouble seeing over my pelvis"
*Don't panic
*The galaxy's a fun place. You'll need to have this fish in your ear. You just come along with me and have a good time.
[I think this was a list of things I wanted on buttons. It's pretty much *still* a list of things I want on buttons, really.]
*************
Red Octane
1/2 gal .
20 oz Mountain Dew
1 red bull
1 sobe adreniline Rush
1 Amp
3 tblspoons Grenadine
[I...don't...know. I really really don't. It seems...dangerous.
*************
CHALLANGE!
Can you answer the following questions using ONLY the titles of books on your bookshelf? Go ahead, I dare you to...
Favourites: What is your favourite...
...name
...food
...place
....Day
...month
...color
...animal
...toy
...song
Other - What is your...
...motto
...Dream Carrer
[If I ever finished this, it would be a cute meme.]
*************
She's an intolerent homophobic overbearing bitch who refuses to see her faults and won't talk to those she's having issues with.
He's sweet if a tad dirty minded (a tad) who helps me release my more violent tendacies and I have no clue why I like him so much.
They fight crime.
[No, I'm not telling you who they are. I know though, so nyah nyah.]
*************
lovely delicate gamer lucious wet smooth smart red hot gorgeous virgin babes who don't stop moaning and pleasing my sweet meat by using honey
[So, we have these magnetic poetry sets. Including the Dragon*Con one, which is slightly more risque. And we have a regular visitor to the house named Josh.
One day, Josh put up near the top of the fridge 'wet hot babes'. He would threaten us with incredible pain if anyone dared to move it. So, it didn't move, but as he found more words, it grew.
Mom eventually decided that it probably shouldn't stay on the fridge since she didn't want to have to answer awkward questions from parents or any of that. But before she took it down, I managed to scrawl down the current incarnation.
(I think it's since been put back up, again merely as 'wet hot babes'.)]
*************
[BFF = Best Friend Forever. BFFWB = Best Friend Forever...With Benefits!]
A BFF will share her chapstick with you
A BFFWB will help you apply it...by putting it on her own lips and snogging you thoroughly
A BFF will help you adjust your bra so it fits right
A BFFWB will help you adjust your bra so you're not wearing it
A BFF will sit in your lap in order to save space at parties
A BFFWB will sit in your lap.
A BFF will know you better than you know yourself
A BFFWB will know you --in the biblical sense
A BFF will tell you how cute you look in that sexy new dress you bought
A BFFWB won't be able to say anything, they're staring so hard
[When my (now ex) girlfriend Blue came out to her mom about the two of us dating, one of the things her mom said was "Can't you just be B-F-F's?" When Blue recounted the story, it made me snort derisively and say something along the lines of "No, because I don't want to snog my best friend."
And...uhm...yeah. I'm actually kinda charmed by some of them, it could become a great new little e-mail forward or something. Clearly, there needs to be something about sleeping over and possibly about sharing beds.]
*************
Andyeah. This is what I'm going to be doing with my life, all fucking summer. I'm going to be slowly reducing the number of notebooks I own by typing up huge amounts of stories and the like, some of which will be mentally (or emotionally) painful for me to read. I will possibly be posting huge amounts of it all to
katarina_tales, my writing journal. In the meantime though, I'm hungry and there are leftover pancrepes in the fridge for me to put jam on and eat. Ta!
~Sor
MOOP!
ETA: I posted some of the more writingish ones over in
katarina_tales, go take a look!