sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Just in case you haven't been keeping track, my birthday is this Sunday.

Which means, as per tradition (I've done it at least twice, that's tradition right?) ICE CREAM!.

So! Ice cream! Middle of Davis Square! Socializing! I will get ice cream at 7pm and at 9pm and be around until about 10pm reading a book if you punks don't show up! IT'LL BE AWESOME! Yay, etc.


sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Today was a much more accomplish-y day than yesterday.

I believe I mentioned that I went ahead and blocked Tumblr, Reddit, and Facebook from my phone. This was a Good Idea. It means my phone still has just *heaps* of ways to distract myself, but those big three have virtually endless scrolling attached, and this way I no longer have access to them. From my phone, at least. Of course they're still available on the computer, should I so choose to use them.

(Except that SelfControl and I get along juuuust fine. I'm feeling pretty safe there. This does mean that if people are posting important stuff on Tumblr, I'm no longer seeing it, but c'est la vie. I wish other people would use livejournal...)

Anyways, today's accomplishments included:

  • Going to the dentist! I got two fillings and a referral (note to self: Tomorrow should include calling referral and setting up appointments before my insurance runs out DUMBASS). I was very good and hardly bit my dentist at all.

  • Doing a few hours of Actual Work at the Sanctuary. As things now stand, almost everything from the downstairs is in either my room ("stuff to come to DanzaHausa") or the green room ("stuff to go to roommates, goodwill, or basically anywhere other than DH or the Sanctuary"). Next step is to get everything from the upstairs, which should be relatively non-painless, since it's just the storage room (almost all goes to the green room) and my floppy mattress topper.

  • I cleaned off the kitchen shelves which are going to be my new bookcase. Getting them out of the kitchen is going to be Exciting as I have no real idea how they got into the house. Possssibly they're gonna need to go off the back porch, which is the sort of task that requires at least two very competent people, or four normal people. Possibly I am going to buy Ikea Bookshelves anyways, after I accidentally break these.

  • Actually, back porch seems increasingly likely as I consider dimensions and stairs. Gosh, I hope I'll be able to get them into my room!

  • Hanging out with Ezri! This included lots of discussions as to what their new name should be, and a general sense of Getting Things Done.

  • Going to the Garment District, where I ate pizza. I scored a cute bra, a ten dollar suit jacket that fits me pretty well (likely to be butchered into a tailcoat by the brilliant and talented Mary Ellen, assuming I can't just manage to find an Actual Tailcoat that fits me (hint: This is impossible), and some faerie-wear from the two-dollar-a-pound pile.

  • Huntin' pokemons! I went from level seventeen to level twenty, and had good conversations and hangouts at the Davis Square Pokemon Park. I caught a few new 'mons, and evolved a whooooole bunch (hence the simply insane leveling).

I think that's all the major highlights. Today was better --this is often the pattern, a bad day followed by a better day. I would like to have better days followed by better days, but that doesn't always seem to be the case.

It seems likely that I will be going to an amusement park on Sunday with two of my favourite people in the world. That would be extremely excellent. Fingers crossed!

sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Today went...not remotely as planned. It was a really very impressively unaccomplished day, and I'm kinda frustrated about that, especially since yesterday was really good.

The ebbs and flows of my brain are really fucking irritating to deal with some days. *stares out window wistfully* when will my executive functioning come?

At any rate, I did get up in time to meet the realtor and the futuretenants, which was good. The tenants seem entirely unlike me, but nice enough. The realtor is into board games, which is awesome! I am pleased to have learned that. (We were talking about my summer job, and therefore I mentioned Innovation).

Other than that, I did exactly bupkis until 7:30pm. Well no, I read a bunch of reddit, looked at stuff on Tumblr, and played through an entire scenario of HOMM31. Which was...vaguely satisfying? That's the part that kills me most, that I can lose entire days to doing things that don't even make me feel accomplished or satisfied.

At least I got a little more productive then, and managed a pretty thorough and solid two hours of moving stuff from the old house to the new, and sorting out random items in the old house. And I think I may have solved my bookcase problem --I'll see how things go tomorrow, and if N still wants to hang out (GUESS WHO FAILED TO MAKE PLANS WITH THEIR FRIENDS, YEP IT'S ME) and if I can persuade them to help me get the kitchen shelves from the Sanctuary over to my new bedroom. I think they're just about the right size!

Tomorrow morning I have a dentists appointment, which is plenty non-exciting. It's at ten AM, and I have to get my bicycle from Davis Square, which means I'll probably be leaving at like...nine. That's not horrific, especially since my brain is starting to run out nowish, despite it only being eleven. Maybe if I get the rest of my words done quickly, then I can curl up in bed and read a story from Rise2.

I hope your day went better. <3


1: Heroes of Might and Magic, which pretty much peaked with the third installment. It's my go-to video game of choice. I play it on knight or pawn mode, because I am a Fake Gamer Girl.

2: I finished rereading the Newsflesh trilogy while I was in Texas! I enjoyed it plenty, but it didn't have the same "slam me in the chest and stop my breathing" impact as the first time through. I think this may honestly be the first piece of media where I've *wanted* to be able to delete my knowledge of it from my brain so I can have "the first time" again --normally, I revel in the nostalgia and comfort of re-reading my old favourites over and over.

Yes, I am looking very much forward to Feedback. October 4th! Not so very long now! And from what Seanan has said on Tumblr, this one is extra important to get opening week, since that'll affect whether or not anything else gets optioned from the Newsflesh world.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Accomplishments of today:

  • I put all my games onto an actual bookshelf in the upstairs living room1, rather than in several bags (as they were for moving).

  • I managed to empty three cubes of my expidites2 (out of sixteen) and put some milk crates of clothes into them.

  • I puttered around my desk-vicinity a bit and maybe did a very small amount of unpacking work there.

  • I biked to Chris's and packaged about 500 copies of Win Lose Banana (this is a very small amount, but I was only working for about 2.5 hours)

  • I watched an episode of All The Games You Like Are Bad, the board game review vlog by my friend Mark.

  • I watched two episodes of Leverage!

  • I watched like one episode of The IT Crowd3 (this and the two above were during the WLB packing)

  • I went to Gregor's house and did three hours of a TMC meeting YAY WHAT FUN but at least now I know who's gonna be asked to be a Pinewoods MC and you don't nyah nyah.

  • I found out that I am the only person (of four) who actually said yes to being on the Highland Ball committee, so, you know, I'ma run the ball myself apparently (I WILL BE ASKING OTHER PEOPLE SHORTLY DON'T YOU WORRY)

  • I signed up to be secretary of TMC because I'm an idiot, but also because I already have to take super-thorough notes in order to pay any attention whatsoever, and this way they can't sucker me into other jobs.

Goals for tomorrow:

  • I am going to go to The Sanctuary by 8:30AM in order to be present while the realtor shows the new tenants the digs and lets them take measurements and the like.

  • While at The Sanctuary, I am going to make a concentrated effort to organize and Get Stuff Done, which might involve several runs of "oh right, I still have a bunch of shit to move, don't I?" and will certainly include a run of "I would like to get these large items out of my house, would you like any of them"

  • Yeah, I have no idea what I'm actually going to do there, but you know. Stuff?

  • Maybe I could figure out if the kitchen shelves we're getting rid of could serve as my bookcase and then I don't have to buy one.

  • Except I already know full well that they're sized for trades and I honestly don't have that many. I want something more adjustable, damnit. They are good shelves though. SIGH.

  • Anyways.

  • I am going to retrieve my bicycle from Davis Square

  • I am going to go to the bananamines and do quite a bit more bananaing. I am almost certainly going to watch things as I do.

  • I am going to settle out my plans for going to Ikea on Thursday, and ideally invite Nurit and Lauren and Laurie and hang out with ALL THE AWESOME PEOPLE AT IKEA YAYYYY!

  • 20/10 on the room, and otherwise follow all my rules for myself (as detailed last post).

What did you accomplish recently? What will you do soon?


1: The as-yet-unnamed Danza Hausa (this is not an oxymoron, it's been called Dance House or Dance Floor for most of the last year, the latter of which I find actively terrible, so I'm going to push for a rename once all of us live here) spans the second and third floors of our corner apartment-house. Bedrooms are on the third floor, as well as a rather large living room area. It's nice! It has bookshelves, and games, and plants and instruments. The downstairs living room has the TV and the baby grand piano.

2: Expidite, noun. A particular Ikea storage shelf unit thing, comprised of cubical cubbies. I have two 2x4 expidites in my room that serve as my dresser, because the cubbies are precisely the right size for a milk crate. I loooooves them. Someday I will be efficient and manage to have my proper Milk Crate Rainbow. (I have all the colours but purple, except yellow needs serious scrubbing from being outside and orange is in TX.)

3: I am actually fairly indifferent to the IT crowd, but I needed something with 20 minute episodes, and it was in my queue. Suggestions accepted!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
So, one of my new rules for myself (because living in a new house and establishing new rules is the right way to make new habits, yeah?) is that I am not allowed to use my computer in/on the bed.

If I'm being strict about it, this means my phone, too. Eventually, we will get to a point where I really want to wank, and I really want to look at Erosblog while I do it, and I will make some hasty revisions to the rule, but that's for later. For now, I am trying to create a "no computer in bed" rule, in order to help me manage my brain and my time and my distinction of spaces.

This rule will be a lot better once my room is cleaned up/organized/unpacked enough that I can regularly use my desk. As things stand, I'm currently cramped into a corner between the bed and More Boxes, which is un-great. But I'm happy to be back here, even if it's the sort of SO MUCH TO DO that is straight up overwhelming and keeps me from being able to even pick a first step.

((Well, okay, the first step really is, unfortunately, buy bookshelves and buy or build and install the high shelves I want to use for my hats and display stuff. Everything else will sort of spiral out from there.

And yes, buy bookshelves. Like, I could totally scavenge during Allston Christmas and see if I can come up with anything awesome, but I think it might just be substantially easier to go to Ikea and drop two hundred dollars on some nice shelves that will go with each other and more or less with my other furniture and be new and in good shape and have all the pieces. The wider Billy and the narrower Billy together equal just about perfectly the amount of space I have, and I'd like to think that it'll be a fairly perfect amount of space for all my books --especially if I buy a few extra shelves in advance, in order to be ready to cram my paperbacks. (Although I could always just doublestack them, two-by-fours optional.)

Yes, I am the sort of person who gasps aloud when they see Mike Jittlove's bedroom. That would work for me, except I like having enough bed space to share.))

Anyways, I have completely digressed. That's sortof where my mind is right now. While I'm posting about it, let's detail some other New Rules (some of which were Old Rules that are being more codified or whatever).

1) Morning initiatives include brushing teeth, making the bed, taking my meds, stretching a bit (doesn't have to be long) and getting up at the first signal of the alarm NO REALLY. That last one is far and away the most difficult.

2) Night initiatives include brushing teeth, flossing or using my flouride rinse, and checking off the various daily checklists. Were I really good, this daily checklist would be on Habitica, but I haven't quite gotten there yet.

3) Daily initiatives include doing at least one 20/10 a day (the 10 minutes of rest/enjoyment are as important as the 20 minutes of room cleaning), writing my words, not using computer in bed, and going through the day's email. I am over a year and a half behind on having Inbox0, and I'd like to get back to it.

So far I haven't determined any weekly initiatives (laundry? grocery shopping? housecleaning?), and of course everything feels weird and in flux because I've technically only been here for like three days. I will keep working on it. I reeeeeeeeally want to see if I can reset my brain some. You know, it's like therapy sorta, except cheaper. :p.

And harder. :/

Anywho, I'm back from my wild adventures, I'm happy to be home (though I do miss Dallas air conditioning) and maybe I will make some posts about how great everything was sometime. Y'all rock and I miss you.

sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
I have moved my computer. I have moved the fireproof box. I have moved the contents of my altar (though not set it back up. I have moved my desk, my dresser, my filing cabinet, and quite critically, my bed.

I am playing Journey of the Sorcerer on my computer while testing out the new desk set-up. The best way to do it places the desk about perfect for standing at, a little too high for sitting at with the stool I've currently got. I will obtain a more different stool for it in the long run (a given regardless --this one's got duct tape all over the top to cover up the nails).

I think I have a new home.

I am so scared and excited and weirded out and happy. It's been three years since the last time I moved. The last two moves I made, I was doing with a bunch of people, creating a household together --this time I'm moving into a space that has become used to certain people within its walls, and I will have to learn the shape of the household.

There aren't sheets on the bed yet, and the majority of my stuff is crammed into the second floor living room, but damnit, there's a kitty and I've done weird and wacky desk things and I think I'm really happy right now.

Time to go move more boxes before I get complacent.



Fireproof box: Mom says that if she's ever in a fire and can grab only one item, the fireproof box it is. Contains birth certificate, SS card, checkbook, bank stuff, no copy of the lease yet (but it should have one), and a handful of other weird and essential things. This is a good plan.

Journey of the Sorcerer: Also a mom thing, kinda --every time she gets a new media-playing device, she introduces it with Escape From New York (which the main title of was cued to be the second thing and so is playing now). I love EFNY slightly less than her (this is funny because there is no one in the world who loves EFNY as much as Greykell) but I *have* had a massive Hitchhiker's hardon since I was in the tenth grade.

Kitty!: His name is Bastian, after the dude from Neverending Story.)
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Alright friends, here's the plan!

I eat dinner first! this is easy, because I made a big ol' tupperware full of food-glop1 last night and I can just heat and eat some of that.

Then I can do some 20/10s! But not just any 20/10s! 20/10s where the ten minute rest periods get to go to me re-reading Deadline. Which I _really really want to finish_ because I wanna read Rise but I don't wanna bring it on planes so if I don't finish the trilogy and the short stories by the morning of the 3rd (when my flight to Indy is) I don't get to read it for weeeeks.

I figure indulging myself in Shaun Mason Punches Things will be an excellent motivation. The only problem will be keeping my ten minute break periods as ten minutes. We'll see. At least if I'm reading actual printed novels instead of Reddit I feel vaguely morally superior.

If I can successfully do *four* twenty minute work periods, then I am allowed to go wander around in the field by my house and try to catch pokemon. I caught a Meowth today, so I am feeling pretty thrilled about everything.

Tomorrow, rinse and repeat. Make sure music is playing almost all the time. I'm practically looking forward to it.

T-minus 35 (and most of another) hours!


EDIT NUMBER ONE: ha! good thing about LJ being dead, no one calls me out when I forget to source footnotes. So, 1: Food Glop is my special recipe of a can of Aldi chicken-and-dumplings, a can of corn, a can of mixed veggies, and a can of cream-of-chicken soup. Heat enough to make sure all the chicken is actually cooked. Consume over several days. It ain't gourmet, but it's good enough and microwaving it later doesn't actually taste worse.

Also I have eaten said glop and could now totally begin on my first 20/10. Any minute now, I'm sure. Just after I answer these texts...
sorcyress: Just a picture of my eye (Me-Eye)
So, I'm nominally trying to pack, because I have to move in something like thirty-nine hours, and my room isn't even close to dealt with.

(Luckily it's a pretty soft move --I nominally have the entire month of August to clear out the rest of the house and do last minute stuff, but at least half of that will involve traveling, and I'd really like the bulk of things to be transferred when I have helpers to do so.)

I do not have a sufficient supply of boxen, because I'm poorly organized, and so just about every bag and thing I have is going to be utilized to carry stuff. This is okay, it's literally a block. But cue me emptying out the random messenger bag I was using as my day bag at Pinewoods. Ugh, sticky melted balloons all over my jewelry and cough drops that have gone off in the sunshine and siiigh. Better clear out all the little pockets. There we go, all done.

Except wait, because my finger clicks against something hard, through a pocket. "A-ha!" I think, "Maybe this is my missing button that I foolishly lost at camp!"

No. No, it's not that. Instead, deep in a mostly unused side pocket in a mostly unused bag, I find two rings. One is an ordinary enough little toe ring that I'm sure I've worn once or twice and completely don't care about in the slightest.

The other has been missing since 2009.

Take that post with a grain of salt --I was twenty and even more fiercely independent than I am now. I've had boys give me other pieces of jewelry --I wear the collar from my sir on lots of days (and the turtle necklace on lots of other days) and I used to wear a lovely heart necklace Sparr gave me. I even had an ex-boyfriend give me flowers, real orchids, preserved in resin to be worn as earrings. I don't necessarily associate jewelry with ownership anymore.

But even if I did, there was nothing in the world that was going to stop me from putting mek's ring right back on my thumb, proudly and happily. I've been his and he's been mine since two thousand fucking four. It's nice to have a proof of that to wear again.



Jul. 28th, 2016 09:16 am
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
I had a dream-fragment that was literally just me typing into 750words that I have lost all sense of self-discipline and I need to get it back somehow. Theoretically, in the dream, I was going to stay awake and finish my words1, although obviously that didn't happen being as I was already asleep.

(I am just as glad that I didn't have a dream long enough to *finish* my words, and then wake up and find them gone. That would be differently frustrating.)


The job I was hoping to get, the one where I had three interviews and everything seemed to be going really well and they told me I was top of their list...they have hired someone else.

I found out last night, just before leaving the bananamines and going to Highland. I haven't told anyone yet2, and I didn't cry at all until after Highland --shocky, I think. I also biked to Highland averaging 11mph, which given Arlington uphills and traffic lights is fairly good. I have no idea what happened in my brain then.

I am feeling extremely damaged and lost. I need to apply to more jobs, which is the hardest part. I also need to prepare for GenCon and moving and everything else in my world.


One of the interesting things about being so strenuously self-reliant is that I have no idea what to do when I want to not be for a little while.

I would very much like to have someone else be in charge of self-care and the like for a bit. But of course, that's logistically impossible in the first place (I don't have that relationship with any of my current housemates; 3/4ths of my partners are cross country and the last is not able to abandon his regular life to come manage mine) and in the second place, the idea just...bristles, even though I know I need it.

One of the most accurate testimonials3 on the page is when Tailsteak said "You do strike me as the sort of animal that doesn't do well in captivity." I need freedom like blood. I can ask for help when I know it's things I can't do on my own. "Taking care of myself", in any capacity, should never qualify.


I'm moving on Sunday, which means, at the rate things are going, I'm going to spend _all fucking day_ Saturday packing and getting things ready for thus. Really, I should've been doing a little bit every night, but that has mostly not been happening in favour of reading everything ever posted on r/UnresolvedMysteries4. I think I'm going to have to put a firm stop to that, less because I think being steeped in morbid is bad for me and more because holy shit Kat, you own a lot of stuff, fucking pack it before people tell stories about you like the ones Dave tells about... don't finish that name, kiddo.

Yes, that last sentence is a pretty apt representation of how I talk to myself like always. Especially the kiddo part --it's definitely straight-up adopted from my mom('s side of the family?) but I pretty much only use it on my siblings and myself, no one else.

Anyways, maybe pack this morning, bananamines until as long as it takes to punch out all the One Deck Dungeon demo decks, home, PACK PACK PACK, sleep?, pack in the morning, bananamines (maybe with actual bananaing?), dentist, home, PACK PACK PACK and then Saturday which is all packing and Sunday which is moving and a little bit of partying maybe and then unpacking as much as I possibly can because I leave for two weeks on the 4th. That's me right now.


I have slept on the floor the last two nights, because my bed is covered by stuff and I can't be arsed to deal with it. In my defense, a lot of the stuff that needs dealing doesn't currently have a place --my dresser has had all its (milk-crate)drawers appropriated for holding books, and so clean laundry is sorta...lost. I think I can start packing it into bags now though.

Anyways, sleeping on the floor is not actually all that big a deal, because apparently 26 is still young enough to be fairly spry. The biggest problem is that my floor is not actually quite as long as I am and I bump into things, but I tend to sleep fairly curled anyways, so w/e.

I am ridiculously spry though. There's no humble about this brag --I'm in pretty great shape right now. Remember I spend the majority of the last school year biking sixteen miles a day, and remember also that I dance twice a week or more, and it's fairly high intensity when I do. I am worried what's going to happen as I go into the next year and am potentially working closer to home, but I don't think I'm going to magically get *out* of shape unless I buy a car or something equally bullshit.

(Note to self: The next time you ask yourself "why do I even do Highland?"5, the answer is because your thighs have actually grown solid enough to start rubbing against each other regularly and you find that *amazing*. I don't have pretty legs but I do have *powerful* legs and I love them love them love them.)


I have actually written today, which is a point in my favour. I do need to work on self-discipline, and I don't know how. I've thought in the past about starting CBT6, I may need to push that higher on my list of Shit To Do. Of course, this is dependent on having good health insurance, which is dependent on having a good job, which is dependent on getting my brain in order enough to apply, which is dependent on starting CB...shit.

Other stuff I would like to do today, and every day:

*Practice a Highland thing. Swords is the most fun, the nationals are the hardest (arrrrms are my constant downfall in Highland). But if I'm going to compete at Loon Mountain in September, I need to be up on my Fling, Swords, Seann Triubhas, and Lilt. So I should practice one of them? (We have also learned half of Blue Bonnets and Barracks Johnny. And some four-person stuff that I can't practice on my own. And the Flora, and the shuffle-buckle step for the hornpipe. It's been a surprisingly accomplished couple of years, actually.)

*Apply for at least one job :D :D :D

*Spend at least 30 minutes off the computer, doing...other stuff. Right now, packing takes precedence, but reading books is the most basic alternative.


If I do well with packing et al, maybe I get to go see Ghostbusters again before leaving for GenCon. I thought it was quite fun!



(For future reference, should I try and break mega-posts like this up in the future?)


1: This July is the worst month for this in eighteen. I missed four days in 2015. I've missed 15 this month. Part of this is re-deciding what writing my words actually means to me, but part of it is pure falling into a funk and being useless.

2: Well, mek. But mek learns things before the rest of you, it's just how it works.

3: Of course I keep a testimonials page. I think it's *important* and recommend everyone do so --the nice ones are a good reminder that you don't suck, and the accurate ones are a good reminder that other people can recognize the inherent Youness of You.

4: Y'all know I'm dark as fuck, right? At any rate, real life horror-terrors are maybe my favourite nonfiction to pursue. Dunno, it just is okay? I certainly don't want more of them to exist --I am pretty firmly anti-Death, and hurting people who don't want to be hurt just seems unfathomable. But yes, if it's a US serial killer of any note, I've *probably* at least read their wiki page.

5: I ask myself this approximately once a Highland class. It is *fascinating* to me that I have done this thrice a month for two years and still don't actually know if I like it. I continually find it really frustrating --even when the dances work, they need extreme amounts of practice and polish, even when they're polished, they ought to feel uncomfortable. Why I am killing my knees for this is beyond me.

Except it's good for me to do things that I'm not good at, I think. It's very good for me to be in situations where I don't perceive myself as the best, and better still to be in situations where I can get actively better through practice. And I dunno, being able to do nice high-cuts in the middle of social dances occasionally looks pretty classy.

6: *snickerlol* Though of course I mean the cognitive type, not the torture type. Of course. >.> Besides, I'm rubbish at meeting boys who want me to step on their junk with my heels. Except that one time. ANYWAYS.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Here is my brain right now:

Today: Work at the bananamines (mostly doing playtesting, but I believe there will be actual bananaing later, and of course, perpetual GenCon work). Go see Ghostbusters with Terrapin. Go stay over at his place.

Tomorrow: Leave Terrapin's on the relatively early side (so like, noonish instead of twoish) to go work at bananamines. Eventually go to Highland. Go home, pack for Maryland, do some mission critical laundry (see also: post-Pinewoods).

Thursday: Bus bus bus bus bus MARYLAND.

Thursday night to Sunday evening: LooneyCon and Veronica's baby shower. I do not have brain-energy to come up with any other visiting plans, so unless you will be at one of those places, I will not see you, sorry.

Sunday night: Bus bus bus bus bus MASSACHUSETTS.

Monday: Bananamines, by way of home and blugh. Dancing.

Tuesday-Friday: Packing in the morning, Bananamines in the afternoon, packing in the evening. I may or may not want company. I don't really want company somewhere else. Skype might be doable.

Saturday: Packing without Bananamines.

Sunday (31 July): I move to the as-yet-not-renamed-DanceHaus! Help would be appreciated, probably. Given that subletting things have fallen through (sigh), I am probably going to do a slow move throughout August, but having a big day planned to do as much furniture and big stuff as possible seems mission critical. No, I'm not sure why or how "mission critical" became my new piece of slang.

Monday, Tuesday: Unpack a little, probably lots of frantic last-minute Bananamines for GenCon prep, lots of packing because...

Wednesday morning: Gencon, followed by Dallas. I'll be back on the 15th, probably.

The rest of August is unpacking, the rest of moving, and trying to make sure I have a job. Sometimes I might play pokemon. I really want to have another no-talent-required musical singalong. Getting in some dates with my only local partner would be really nice. Finding the time to send really fucking long emails having Major Conversations with my non-local partners is important.

Also, I need to go to the dentist, and probably the doctor at least once.

Everything is stressful and insane and Twitter will plausibly be the best way to keep up with my mental state for a while.


(Notes to self: Things to write about/posts to make: Updated infofile; thin privilege vs body acceptance vs friends who get down because all their friends [read: me] are skinner than them; Pinewoods and NYFF reports; many photos of nature (and Secret Project: CitySpider); infinite amounts of things I could post about on Ambidance if I didn't suck at that; another update in the endless understanding that I Do Not Deserve Nice Things (and its corollary, It's My Job To Keep Everyone Happy And If They're Not I'm A Failure); weird stuff about s00j and music and crying and not; where I stand WRT writing because I haven't been and that's differently weird; dunno, what do you wanna read about?

ETA: Also the fact that I don't have any kind of five year plan, and am well past the age where that's probably an important thing to have. That's definitely something I should write/introspect about and work on. See also, wedding plans.)
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Goooooood morning, internet!

I woke up at about 5:30am today, frantically pounded out my words for yesterday1, and then fucked around for a little bit. Around 6:15, I determined that I should probably go back to sleep.

Except I didn't really want to. On a fundamental level I object to sleep in the same way I object to death2. But typically when I wake up, I feel quite strongly about immediately going back to bed. This is a bad habit, and why I have been known to hit "snooze" on my alarm for upwards of an hour, yes I know that's a terrible idea and not actually any more restful3.

But I awoke and processed the situation and despite falling asleep at my laptop sometime ambiguous last night I felt...reasonably spry, actually. So instead of setting a three-hour alarm4 and going back to sleep, I turned on the alarm and opened my book.


I think I have been unaware of just how critical long, uninterrupted, stretches of reading time are for my self-care. On Sunday of FaerieFest, I spent from about 5:00pm to 6:30 lying in a hammock re-reading Good Omens, and I swear it was better than a nap.

So I think my mental assessment of "booooks?" is going to involve a lot more of keeping one relatively close at hand than it used to. Fiction is important, damnit, and I bet if I find compelling enough stuff to keep by my bed, my mind will be willing to trade thirty minutes of reading it until the second alarm comes on for hitting snooze four times.

(Ah, but getting me to stop reading...)

So it's just before eleven, I've burned the morning re-reading Feed, which is the least bad way to burn an unemployed morning I can think of. I haven't quite finished it yet, which is okay (I need to swing by a Friendly Local Bookstore6 and pick up the next two --they were from the library originally, I read them before I had an automatic Buy This for all Seanan books). My immediate plans are to eat breakfast, and maybe do some room cleaning and laundry and post-faerie stuff, and otherwise be a bit productive.

I think today will be a good day.


1: 750words lets you set your own time zone. For the first couple years of the site (including my longest streak, double-including the breaking of my longest streak) I kept it strictly set to midnight, local time.

When I restarted it, I pushed the timing back to better fit with my nocturnal nature. Somehow this turned into just permanently setting it at the latest zone (Hawaii, which typically has its midnight at 6AM my time) and occasionally (and increasingly frequently) writing my words in the early morning before going to work.

Now, it's entirely possible that if I don't need to leave the house by 6AM, I will go back to waking up at a less ungodly hour (I have woken up at a time starting with four at least once a month for the last school year) and then I can go back to actually writing my words in the damn evening like I'm supposed to.

2: That is to say, with every fibre of the core of my being. We, as a community of humans who understand such delicate things as "innovation" and "medical technology" should have fixed this by now. I mostly feel the same way about menstruation, but recognize that some people like the power inherent in the Sacred Feminine blah blah blah make the blood stop staining my boxer briefs, kthanks.

3: Currently I'm not working on it, with the vague concept that once I get to the new place, I will make an Active Effort to design my room such that I do not get to go back to bed after hitting snooze.

4: I have not exactly worked out the correct lengths of time for me to be unconscious, but at least the first few subscribe to the typical "one and a half hours" I hear thrown around as an average. So 1.5, 3, 4.5, and 6 hour alarms are all typical for me. I'm pretty sure 8 is better than 9, but I'm not sure how that plays with 7 vs 7.5.

I come by my sleep fascination honestly, I have a father who drives5 a car bearing the license "MORFEUS" and who did his thesis on sleep labs. My ADHD makes me neuroatypical enough that they probably don't want me for most sleep studies :(

5: Well I did. He abandoned that vanity plate when he left MD. The Chicago one was ASA AQA (American Society of Anesthesiologists, something quality something?). I dunno what he's got down in Texas.

Mom's was Galileo (named after the Star Trek shuttlecraft, not the astronomer, much to the chagrin of at least one lonely dude who had just moved to the state and followed her to a busy parking lot to meekly inquire if she knew of any stargazing clubs). The next car was technically named Catbus, but she kept the same plate until she moved to Chicago, at which point she switched to GREYK L. Her newest car is called the Gullfire, and if you need me to explain the reference, you need to hang out with mom more.

I eventually figured out that most people *don't* have vanity plates, and was kinda disappointed by that knowledge. If I ever obtained a car, I would probably determine it worth the extra 50 dollars to have one that says MOOP! on it.

6: I interviewed quite nearby to a Soulless Chain Bookstore, which is actually where I changed my clothes. They had both Blackout and Deadline (for some reason Porter Square Books never seems to have the third) but being as I knew my bike ride home would take me past two separate indie shops, I resisted.

Further resistance came from not going into either the Harvard Book Store (which I just learned is clever enough to own or PSB. Look at how good I am with money! Resistance will break as soon as I realize there are sequels to Wee Free Men and other Pratchett nonsense I've never read (most of it, honestly) and then I will have no money and even fuller bookshelvesstacks.

Postscript: Fun fact! I'm pretty inconsistent about tags, but the "footnote-orgy" tag I've used on this post is only allowed to be used on posts where the footnotes have footnotes --not just when I do like eight of 'em. YAY!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
I am going to New York FaerieFest!

I will be on a bus for much of today, then camping for five nights, then on a bus for much of Monday. The site really does not have great cell reception, and I'm not bringing my laptop, so I'm gonna be super slow to respond to things. If you need me, *email me* at kdsorceress, gmail (the usual address).

Looking forward to showing you lots of awesome pics once it's all through! <3

sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Today was the very last day I needed to be in the school building (which of course means there's at least two small things I need to drop off tomorrow before I am *done* done, but I digress).

I cried a bunch and took some final photos of my office (they're on Twitter) and then determined that I was going to take the long way home and take pictures of nature. This was a good decision! You can see the results under the cut! (The results are mostly birbs) )

And I'll put my favourite photo from today outside the cut, because that's how I do --I caught a sneaky chipmunk hiding behind a chunk of wood!

Sneaky chipmonk

It was a good adventure. I feel good.

sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Stuff coming up:

Monday, June 20: Grades are due at about 10AM. Need to finish all the grading before then! Not sure what'll happen after, plausibly fucking around with (ex)coworkers.

Tuesday, June 21: Going to Boda Borg with [personal profile] mindways and [profile] nurrynurr! Am tres excite! Need to sort out times and the like. After, need to pack for...

Wednesday, June 22: GETTIN' ON A BUS AND GOIN' TO FAERIEFEST! This was an awesome lot of fun last year, and this year I'm actually going to be around to help set-up and work a bit, so yayyyyy. Goal: Work basically many of the hours that I am not listening to Tricky Pixie play.

Aforementioned Wednesday-Monday June 27: Hanging out in NY doing FaerieFest things and being weird and fabulous and enjoying myself quite a bit. Need to pack: Wings, stilts, parachute(??), camping gear, parasol, juggling stuff.

Monday, June 27: It's time for the end of season party at Cambridge Class! Yay!

Then I have a whole week off to do very little except look for jobs and the like until...


Aforementioned Monday - Saturday July 16 ESC at Pinewoods, and running things and having an awesome time! Then Scottish I and running a Midway themed party and having an awesome time! Then Scottish II and being the Dining Hall Manager and having an awesome time!!!

Sunday the 17th is going to be a rest day, guara-fuckin-teed. And then I'll be working for Asmadi, and maybe doing babysitting of some sort and also PACK PACK PACK PACKING until it's time for GenCon and who even knows what I'm gonna do after GenCon. Texas? Seattle? Acadia? WHO KNOWS?!

(And maybe even Dragon*Con this year, shh, don't tell)

sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Community is the most important thing we've got.

I mean, there's a lot of things you could put as the first word there. Innovation and creativity and love and a really nice MLT sandwich could all work, and I wouldn't argue them with you. But I honestly think, as far as I want the world to work, community's the Big One. It's the thing we should be fostering and working on and remembering as we travel through life and try to get by.

Community doesn't preclude arguing, or disagreements. But it does take those things and suggest compromises, look for ways to help as many people as possible feel as happy as they can.

Community *does* preclude abject hatred of outsiders. Okay, fine, yes, lots of "communities" are insular by nature and not really friendly to just anyone joining in. But that's not how it should be. Gatekeeping doesn't make your group stronger, it just makes it smaller.

Maybe people show up to your community who you weren't expecting to be there. That's a good thing! Sometimes you have to work with them to explain how the culture of your community flows, and may be different from other communities they've been a part of, but that's not the same as shutting them down or kicking them out. And maybe they'll bring ideas from their other communities that are worth considering or implementing.

Maybe people aren't showing up to your community, and you need to take a step back and think about how to change your community around. Maybe you need to be more welcoming to some aspect --even if you're not UNwelcoming, maybe things need to shift so the aspect isn't being ignored.

And deeper than any specific group, community says that we gotta look out for each other, we gotta take care of each other, we gotta hold hands and hearts and make the world a better place for those who aren't able to pick up the fight. As small as telling a rape survivor "I believe you and it's not your fault", as big as drafting legislation.

Making the global community better is the reason to change the world. And it's a good damn reason.

Look out for each other, folks. Try to remember that we're all just doing the best we can. Try not to assume malice without reason. Try not to judge groups on the behaviors of individuals. Try to open your arms and listen when people need it.

One thing I told my eleventh graders this year, a lot: Be gentle to each other. You're all you have in the world.

Community is the most important thing we've got.

sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Last night I went to Boda Borg again! I was feeling kinda draggy and not so into the idea during the day, but by the time I hit the house at 5:15, I was pumped to go throw myself into the puzzles. I got there just around six, and wound up in a five person group of me and Sparr and squares!Chris and two other friends of Sparr's.

We did some good puzzling --it's an interesting balance to strike, sitting out being smug and giving little hints and helping people to solve the puzzles I have not yet. I feel that Darker is a lot more graceful at it than I am.

It's also fascinating doing the physical puzzles in a group where there are people a lot less capable of doing the physical parts individually. Because, especially in a group of five, some of them can be completed by working together. Giving arms and support to the other players --it's a little humbling to realize that sure, I'm in fantastic shape for these, I can just flit through but _not everyone can_ and I should go take care of my community and my teammates. We managed the first two and a half rooms of SuperBanan on this principle and it felt nice.

By about eight, the two people I didn't know well had headed out. Us three remaining teammates got some pizza, and then kept going in earnest. The best part? We beat Infra! And feeling even better, not only did we beat it, but I was the one to catch the trick to the last room! Woot woot!!

(Also, bless dancers and their senses of rhythm, because after a few frustrating starts of "did you do the thing at the same time I did the thing?" Chris and I started counting. Here's to completing puzzles in waltz time!)

We also solved light and dark, and I feel a lot better about the second room --the one where I was told "OKAY FLAIL WILDLY NOW" which was fun and interesting, but now I feel like I might have an actual handle on it.

We made it to the last room of Roll'n'Rock, and came up with a really good solution for it, but then had equipment failure that made it difficult to implement. (Something was sticking that shouldn't have been.) Of course, the second room remains the "Fuck this Room" as Sparr and I were fond of saying upon entrance, so it'll be a while before I actually get that third room, probably.

I think that was all the new stuff. We were trending puzzlier rather than physical, but I still have some distinct new bruises, and my right knee is twingey. I actually feel really good about this --we'll see if I still feel good in a few days. (Last time, I ached seriously for about four days after. This time, I have Highland!)

Final verdict? I have 14 of the 21 possible distinct stamps (assuming I'm counting correctly) which is an excellent thing. I'm very likely going back in about two weeks with Darker and someone (is it you?), and that should net me some of the physical stamps I've been missing (I want spider so bad it hurts), so I'm looking forward to that.

Boda Borg remains an excellent place. Do go!

sorcyress: Just a picture of my eye (Me-Eye)
whiny, whiny, whiny, ugh )

There's a reason I'm so damn thrilled when someone communicates with me textwise. I should get a lot damn better at responding/showing it.

sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Hello! Here are things that are happening in the very near future:

*Today to the 9th: Sparr is in town! Yay! He is staying with me, which makes things easier.

*Yesterday to the ??(but at least through the weekend): Alys is in town!! Yay!! She is not staying with me, which means I have to put more active effort into seeing her. This is critically important.

*10-14th: Final exams! Which means that they need to be written, because my finals are due to my department head to look over on the 3rd!

*6-8th: Final exam prep! Which means that the review packets I've promised my students need to be written and given to them by also the 3rd!

*Tonight: my musical singalong party! Which I am excited for, even though I am dead-on-my-feet exhausted and super behind on everything and really should postpone. I will certainly shorten it by a set --I don't know if I'm gonna be awake at 10 anymore.

Also there is ALL THE GRADING to do, and still A LITTLE BIT OF PREP WORK and I am in very much trouble. Or at the very least, I need to NOT SLEEP for a few days while I get this all written and prepped and graded and sorted out.

(Yes, I have posted in the last month or so about both needing sleep to function and about exhibiting signs of Depression. Yes, this is right at the crossroads of both those posts, and I am as amused as you are.)

Anyways, I'm grounded from livejournal until the grading is done, and that's the lowest priority right now, so you should leave me lots of charming comments that I won't be able to read for a few days. (being grounded almost always means I can still output information, I just can't input it. It takes a pretty severe fuck-up for me to not be allowed to publish --that's almost as critical as writing!)
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
So, did you know that sleep is important? Because sleep is, apparently, important!

Like, I've pretty much reached an understanding with myself, where I more or less "get" the idea that I have to eat, regularly, and honestly quite a lot. I'm still not particularly good at it1, but I understand that if I'm feeling mopey or wounded or depressed eating is probably a really good first step.

I have not reached this understanding with sleep yet. But Sunday and Monday nights were both 4.5 hours, compounded with me being SUPER SORE AND TIRED from BodaBorg still. Tuesday and last night were 6 hours, which is a lot closer to normal2.

Yesterday wasn't great, as I was still catching up, but today! Today everything has finally clicked back down, and I feel so much better. I mean, I'm still painfully stressed, behind in my grading, and in the middle of dealing with hellish logistics about both my future job and house, but damn, that extra hour and a half makes a difference.

(Of course, I'm not going to get a chance to actually pay back my debt this weekend, because convention...which I don't necessarily have a room I should figure that out. Probably in the next twenty-four hours.)

So maybe I am going to make it some kind of goal (coughHabiticacough) to actually get at least 42 hours of sleep a week. I can do that, right? It's not even two full days! ;)


1: I don't have disordered eating or food aversions, but I do completely hate cooking. And food shopping.

2: Strictly speaking, to function at my approximate baseline definition of normal, I should be alternating 6 and 7.5 hours of sleep a weeknight, with 7.5-10.5 a night on the weekends. This allows me to do the valuable awake things that keep my brain happy, and also gets me enough sleep.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
I am sortof chronically disorganized in most things, and my classroom management skills are apparently shite, and it is a true fact that I, on average, prep most of my lessons less than an hour before I need them.

But if there is one place I succeed as a teacher, and how, it is that I write magnificently thorough sub plans. Because after three damn years of putting up with that bullshit? There's no way I'd not.

I feel like I am adequately paying forward my teacher-karmic debt.



sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Katarina Whimsy

August 2016

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