sorcyress | (no subject)

I have a bit of a mama bear complex.

Which is to say, if you touch my cubs, I *will* hurt you, however possible. Words, or physically, or however I can. And being made helpless, unable to protect those I think of as mine...well...it is among my least favourite things in the world.

My "cubs" are quite a lot of people, too. Alys, Veronica -those are the most obvious ones, and the ones I am absolutely most protective of. But when it comes down to it, pretty much all my contract mates, definitely everyone I think of as an older or younger sister, my roommates, Nik, the high school friends I'm still close to, the college friends I've made, the entire pie shop...You hurt someone I care about, and I will not be happy with you.

The problem, and I actually find it a very interesting one, comes when two of my cubs are fighting, or one of them is (inadvertently or purposely) causing another to be hurt. Who do I protect? Do I just ignore them both publicly and support each of them in private¹? Do I go ahead and bitch out the offending party, despite caring dearly for them? Do I curl up in a hole and hope the whole thing goes away?

This doesn't really have anything to do with anything. I largely just find it an interesting thing to ponder. On the one hand, I don't care for the idea of "ranking" friends, and of course, all rankings would be situational, anyways. (If Alys punched...say...Emily in the stomach, I'd tell Alys she's an idiot, despite normally considering her more my cub than Emily. Though it occurs to me I'd probably be gentler on Alys than I would on Emily were their positions reversed.)

On the other...well...there are people I am more protective of than others --not necessarily closer friends, but people I feel it's more important I take care of, often because I tend to consider them mentally younger, and more in need of my protection. (And let me tell you, it is startling as all fuck when they do something that illustrates that they are actually a lot older than they necessarily seem.)

*shrugs*

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Yes. I can say with some confidence that this is the route I took with the strongest example of two people I quite like and care for being stupid to each other.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The solution in that case is to yell at/cuff both of them :P

Just love'em both, and the rest will be situation-specific. Sometimes that'll mean comforting one party or both, and sometimes of quite the opposite, and sometimes of staying the heck out of the way. You'll figure out which is which as you go.

I like to pretend I'm a mama bear. But I'm not. Kudos, I suppose; I've never been strong enough to cut people down who hurt my friends.

This is a very interesting thing to think on. I'm often fascinated by the apparent differences in the basic ways life works between different people -- say, over here in Oz and over there in the Empty City.

I've always seen the world in a kill-or-be-killed light -- a move-your-feet-lose-your-seat point of view to counter a placeback point of view. As such it always shocks and surprises me when my friends go out of their way to do things for me for little or no payment. Not that I don't do nice things for people just to be nice, but it's not something I expect of others. But that's a topic for a different essay. The point is that I, myself, am not a "mama bear". Yeah, I got your back in a fight, and I'll help you with your problems if you ask, but I'm not going to fight your battles for you. If I did, how would you learn?

Out of curiosity, because, well, I know me:
often because I tend to consider them mentally younger, and more in need of my protection. (And let me tell you, it is startling as all fuck when they do something that illustrates that they are actually a lot older than they necessarily seem.)
Someone I know? ¬¬