My mom has been more and more into the gender feels (I've really enjoyed watching the steady progression from "my pronoun is she...I mean she/they...I mean they/she...") but they've continued to first and foremost use the word "mom". It's such a huge part of their identity, the fact that they raised all these kids (both blood and not) and they're so good at it and wonderful about it.
Which is all to say, "female like the planet is female" made me absolutely starry-eyed with joy. It's not the word or concept for me but I _love_ for you that you have this identity, that you can be a creator of life, a raiser of people and ideas and identities. (Maybe I have a little of that second part, as a teacher, though I know for sure pregnancy would be all the bad dysphoria all the time.)
I have a handful of friends who use "it", and I get your "don't want people to worry" but also like...sometimes that's the right one? It is fascinating to me that I will slip up and call SecurityUnit (from the Murderbot Diaries) "they" instead of "it" if I'm not paying quite enough attention, but if you want, I'd be happy to flag you as "it" in my mental codex of "how to refer to people".
"monogamous between partners and hoping to remain this way" is also so...comforting to hear that there are people living that life. My parents original house in Maryland was called The Empty City, after a short story a friend wrote of the place all the unpartnered people went to just chill out and be without having to worry about weird judgement for being single. I was raised by a number of permanent bachalors and spinsters in addition to my actual blood parents, and it was great to have Neva and Paul and Bruce as such a part of my life.
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Which is all to say, "female like the planet is female" made me absolutely starry-eyed with joy. It's not the word or concept for me but I _love_ for you that you have this identity, that you can be a creator of life, a raiser of people and ideas and identities. (Maybe I have a little of that second part, as a teacher, though I know for sure pregnancy would be all the bad dysphoria all the time.)
I have a handful of friends who use "it", and I get your "don't want people to worry" but also like...sometimes that's the right one? It is fascinating to me that I will slip up and call SecurityUnit (from the Murderbot Diaries) "they" instead of "it" if I'm not paying quite enough attention, but if you want, I'd be happy to flag you as "it" in my mental codex of "how to refer to people".
"monogamous between partners and hoping to remain this way" is also so...comforting to hear that there are people living that life. My parents original house in Maryland was called The Empty City, after a short story a friend wrote of the place all the unpartnered people went to just chill out and be without having to worry about weird judgement for being single. I was raised by a number of permanent bachalors and spinsters in addition to my actual blood parents, and it was great to have Neva and Paul and Bruce as such a part of my life.
~Sor