Cis, allo, and het are labels that work for me, though I treat them as convenient shorthands for a particular area of a multidimensional spectrum rather than boxes. (Back In The Day I often heard and sometimes used "straight, but not narrow" which seemed to cover anything from outspoken allyship to heteroflexibility.)
In gender space, I avoid a bunch of the socially accepted performance aspects of "masculinity" (many of them because I find them toxic, while others are just uninteresting to me) but OTOH I wear pants, let my facial hair grow, and don't let my (remaining) hair get too long.
Regarding attraction, "het" works in the sense of "not the same as me"; I tend to be attracted most to femmes and least to masc folks, but the "not masc" feels stronger. Romantically, I turned out to be polyamorous after suppressing it for far too long. I'm neither aro or ace, and don't think of myself as demisexual though I generally don't find people in real life attractive without some sort of emotional connection; that can be "I like hanging out with you when we get the chance" (I have some "friends with benefits" cometary relationships that are like that) or it can be a deeper romantic connection.
(Aside: your "aim to not be the nesting/primary partner for any of my partners" reminds me of my approach when I left the relationship that had had me suppressing my polyamory; I didn't want anyone to be expecting too much from me while I was still figuring out both what I wanted and what I could offer, so I said "right now I'm my primary".)
no subject
Cis, allo, and het are labels that work for me, though I treat them as convenient shorthands for a particular area of a multidimensional spectrum rather than boxes. (Back In The Day I often heard and sometimes used "straight, but not narrow" which seemed to cover anything from outspoken allyship to heteroflexibility.)
In gender space, I avoid a bunch of the socially accepted performance aspects of "masculinity" (many of them because I find them toxic, while others are just uninteresting to me) but OTOH I wear pants, let my facial hair grow, and don't let my (remaining) hair get too long.
Regarding attraction, "het" works in the sense of "not the same as me"; I tend to be attracted most to femmes and least to masc folks, but the "not masc" feels stronger. Romantically, I turned out to be polyamorous after suppressing it for far too long. I'm neither aro or ace, and don't think of myself as demisexual though I generally don't find people in real life attractive without some sort of emotional connection; that can be "I like hanging out with you when we get the chance" (I have some "friends with benefits" cometary relationships that are like that) or it can be a deeper romantic connection.
(Aside: your "aim to not be the nesting/primary partner for any of my partners" reminds me of my approach when I left the relationship that had had me suppressing my polyamory; I didn't want anyone to be expecting too much from me while I was still figuring out both what I wanted and what I could offer, so I said "right now I'm my primary".)