At ON, the stickers are on the 2nd shelf down at the right end, I think. Choose one next time you are there. Not the same as instant gratification/reward, but of course you should have it. I can understand metaphor, but feel strongly about tangible sometimes.

Stedman is an excellent choice for stepwise preparation, and I'm glad your steps in the past have added up to a glorious whole now. And that you'll be able to allow yourself to do some not perfect bits along the way to something good in the future.