I don't mean to speak for Kat, but she has put a remarkable amount of thought into this, as painful and stressful as that process was for her. I think it's better to trust the conclusions she's reached than to tell her she's wrong because those conclusions don't match a certain narrative. All human interaction is nuanced, even abuse; Kat's is an impressively nuanced and gracious analysis of the situation.

Part of taking back power from an abusive situation is defining the abuse in your own terms.