sorcyress: Just a picture of my eye (Me-Eye)
Katarina Whimsy ([personal profile] sorcyress) wrote2011-07-02 07:20 pm

Being a werewolf

One of my first lesbian experiences was in the context of playacting homosexual men.

The Maurauders to be exact, from Harry Potter. The timeframe was somewhere after the first movie but before the third --Severus had been revealed to be a beautiful creation1, but my Remus had not yet appeared onscreen and been nothing like I'd wanted2. So we were playing that set, four of us as James and Severus and Sirius and Remus.

It was a long sleepover, curled up in our blankets and just talking quietly. It was role-playing, the sort you do when you're young, dictating your actions to the group, and responding to what each other offers. And because we were young and exploring, what we were doing revolved around love and romance.

There may have been playacting as women as well, pretending to be partners for the Maurauders, but mostly we were just being the men and responding as them. I think I recall Lily being played cruel, to pull James away from her so he could become friends-more with Severus. I as Remus was of course to pull myself towards Sirirus. And as we pulled closer, the actions got less than purely friendly. And at some point, someone explained "well, of course we would kiss then".

And that's all it was. Just cuddling up close against each other, and kissing. It was acting, dammit --the characters would kiss, and so we did, to save them from tragedy otherwise. (I'm not kidding about the tragedy --in a game that couldn't have lasted more than three hours, we had at least two described suicide attempts and maybe a couple attempted murders, all in the name of our Dramatic Love.)

We went to bed eventually, a tangle of people just sleeping. And it wasn't ever wrong to us, that's just the way the game had gone. But still, I think none of us ever mentioned it to our parents later. There are some things you just don't talk about to your parents lest you no longer be able to stay over with Those People again.

(To clarify, I doubt any relevant parental parties would've had a problem with the lesbianism, the roleplaying, or the fact that we were being men. But parents don't want their little girls to grow up too fast, and we were old enough that the experiment mattered, but young enough that maybe it would have scared them.)

No, I don't really have any specific reason to be making this post. Just one of those things that came to mind. And of course to those who knew me at that age, it would be incurably rude to speculate who my fellow players were.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Freshman year of college, after watching Dogma, a group of us declared that Alan Rickman was made of sex. Not sexy. Just pure sex. I've never really changed in this opinion.

2: The movies disappointed me with both the boys I fantasized about from the books. I dreamed of being with Ron, constantly --red hair and gawkish limbs!-- and found Rupert Gint lacking as well. Both actors are talented and lovely, but neither was as beautiful as I wanted as a young and fickle teenager.

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