I totally understand about the whole "woman" title and maturity. I don't think I thought of myself as a "woman" until I was wearing a shaitel1 and pregnant. And, you know... I think that leads me to an interesting thought:
femininity + responsibility = womanhood.
I don't wear makeup. But I always wear skirts (or the occasional dress), and the hair that I present to the world is always styled, because that's how I bought it.
It's kind of funny, how I came to have my first shaitel. I met with the shaitel macher3 once or twice before the wedding to look at wigs to basically see what would look good against my face, and what I did and didn't like. They also took my head size and we talked about color. I gave them a down payment, and they got something shipped in from NY for me.
What I received was a shaitel that was a shade lighter than my natural hair color (which slightly annoyed me, but it was the closest they had in my size, and it didn't look that bad), but the style was like nothing I'd had before. It was approximately shoulder-length, styled, and layered. My haircuts for the past several years previous had been basically in the mid-back to waist range. Basically, it looked like the shaitel of a rebbetzin4. Pretty, but not me, and I was intimidated by it. I actually hated it, at first, though mostly because the bangs got in my eyes constantly, and so the shaitel macher trimmed it back for me.
A week later, I loved it. "Yeah, I could be that person."
It's also pretty darn convenient.
As for the whole responsibility thing... marriage did it partially, but being pregnant and caring for a baby really kind of forces you to grow up and get your act together, otherwise nothing gets done.
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1 Shaitel is yiddish for wig. Observant married Jewish women cover their hair, and in Chabad (the organization in observant Judaism I align myself with), we cover our hair in public with a shaitel. In private, it tends to vary - some always wear shaitels, others wear various forms of scarves/snoods/wraps/turbans2/hats.
2 Though I don't think I've actually seen Chabad women wear turbans, come to think of it... not sure why. It seems to be a Look that other Chassidic women do, but not Chabad Chassidic women. Despite this, I've recently purchased a turban for sleeping, and I'm currently waiting for it to arrive.
3Pronounced SHAY-till MA... the "ch" sound is the yiddish sort of clearing-your-throat sound... -er. Anyway. In "free translation" it means "wig lady", though "macher" is often translated as "big shot" in other contexts.
no subject
femininity + responsibility = womanhood.
I don't wear makeup. But I always wear skirts (or the occasional dress), and the hair that I present to the world is always styled, because that's how I bought it.
It's kind of funny, how I came to have my first shaitel. I met with the shaitel macher3 once or twice before the wedding to look at wigs to basically see what would look good against my face, and what I did and didn't like. They also took my head size and we talked about color. I gave them a down payment, and they got something shipped in from NY for me.
What I received was a shaitel that was a shade lighter than my natural hair color (which slightly annoyed me, but it was the closest they had in my size, and it didn't look that bad), but the style was like nothing I'd had before. It was approximately shoulder-length, styled, and layered. My haircuts for the past several years previous had been basically in the mid-back to waist range. Basically, it looked like the shaitel of a rebbetzin4. Pretty, but not me, and I was intimidated by it. I actually hated it, at first, though mostly because the bangs got in my eyes constantly, and so the shaitel macher trimmed it back for me.
A week later, I loved it. "Yeah, I could be that person."
It's also pretty darn convenient.
As for the whole responsibility thing... marriage did it partially, but being pregnant and caring for a baby really kind of forces you to grow up and get your act together, otherwise nothing gets done.
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1 Shaitel is yiddish for wig. Observant married Jewish women cover their hair, and in Chabad (the organization in observant Judaism I align myself with), we cover our hair in public with a shaitel. In private, it tends to vary - some always wear shaitels, others wear various forms of scarves/snoods/wraps/turbans2/hats.
2 Though I don't think I've actually seen Chabad women wear turbans, come to think of it... not sure why. It seems to be a Look that other Chassidic women do, but not Chabad Chassidic women. Despite this, I've recently purchased a turban for sleeping, and I'm currently waiting for it to arrive.
3Pronounced SHAY-till MA... the "ch" sound is the yiddish sort of clearing-your-throat sound... -er. Anyway. In "free translation" it means "wig lady", though "macher" is often translated as "big shot" in other contexts.
4 Rabbi's wife