1) I originally posted that comment with a disclaimer because I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't criticizing (or unhappy about, or whatever) anything you were saying -- but it was over the comment word-limit, and taking out the disclaimer put it back under, and the disclaimer itself seemed excessive to begin with. It ended up on the cutting-room floor.
So now I'll say this (a much shorter disclaimer) with regard to #1 specifically:
Please don't ever think that I would rather you didn't do such things (dressing male) or talk about them. I have my jealousy safely captured in a little emotion-terrarium, where I study its behavior and try it out on different types of foliage to see what it likes to eat. Sometimes it bites me, but it can't really hurt me because I'm much bigger than it is and I have a safe place to leave it when I'm doing other things.
2) Interesting that there's a level of adulthood you feel you haven't achieved. I frequently come across evidence that this is also true for me -- some circumstantial, some more innate and a bit TMI-ish. The more TMI-ish ones make me wonder if it's a side-effect of the dysphoria, or at least exacerbated by it.
3) I can't picture you doing it (telling someone else how they should look because you subconsciously want them to express your identity for you), though I can picture other people doing it to you, and putting pressure on you as a result of that -- which you might then react to, whether or not you were aware of its origin. (Though the idea of you being unaware of something like this strikes me as unlikely and kind of not-Sor.)
4a) Meaning that you will have... expanded the range of (metaphorical) dances you're comfortably familiar with, to the point where you can feel comfortable and confident doing the ideal-femme dance along with the others you currently know? (This is probably a terrible metaphor...) --- I should have made it clear that "not deserving femininity" is one of those negvox things. I know it doesn't make sense to believe it, but my knowledge of arguments against it is still kind of... "lame", in the sense that it needs a great deal of rehab in order to become effective (as opposed to the colloquial sense of being useless and a waste of resources).
Re: reactions
So now I'll say this (a much shorter disclaimer) with regard to #1 specifically:
Please don't ever think that I would rather you didn't do such things (dressing male) or talk about them. I have my jealousy safely captured in a little emotion-terrarium, where I study its behavior and try it out on different types of foliage to see what it likes to eat. Sometimes it bites me, but it can't really hurt me because I'm much bigger than it is and I have a safe place to leave it when I'm doing other things.
2) Interesting that there's a level of adulthood you feel you haven't achieved. I frequently come across evidence that this is also true for me -- some circumstantial, some more innate and a bit TMI-ish. The more TMI-ish ones make me wonder if it's a side-effect of the dysphoria, or at least exacerbated by it.
3) I can't picture you doing it (telling someone else how they should look because you subconsciously want them to express your identity for you), though I can picture other people doing it to you, and putting pressure on you as a result of that -- which you might then react to, whether or not you were aware of its origin. (Though the idea of you being unaware of something like this strikes me as unlikely and kind of not-Sor.)
4a) Meaning that you will have... expanded the range of (metaphorical) dances you're comfortably familiar with, to the point where you can feel comfortable and confident doing the ideal-femme dance along with the others you currently know? (This is probably a terrible metaphor...)
---
I should have made it clear that "not deserving femininity" is one of those negvox things. I know it doesn't make sense to believe it, but my knowledge of arguments against it is still kind of... "lame", in the sense that it needs a great deal of rehab in order to become effective (as opposed to the colloquial sense of being useless and a waste of resources).