Yeah, really, and it makes me sad. It's a completely legitimate choice on your part, of course, I just find it personally disappointing.

I do have one small sliver of hope, in that the Regency community is so helplessly small that it's constantly on the verge of collapse . . . which is terrible in a lot of ways, but does mean that a small number of voices might actually be heard.

I mean, imagine if kdsorceress, rm, mnemex, you, and I all agreed, well in advance of an event, that we would make reasonable efforts at opposite-gender-clothing partners in general, dancing with new dancers, and generally not being a clique, but we would no longer be absolutely bound by it, and would dance with one another or other willing men if we felt like it or would otherwise be left out. What if we made this decision clear to the event organizer, and said that we really wanted to attend because we valued the event, but weren't comfortable attending if we couldn't dance with male partners.

Wielding our male privilege for good against ingrained homophobia, or overdeveloped entitlement? I'm not entirely sure at the moment, but I think the former. (In a context where footnote 6 officially applies, I think unquestionably the former, with fun homo/transphobia blend)