I'm doing a women's self defense course the next two weekends and I'm really worried that they'll teach me to fear.

Given my own experiences with a self-defense course and then with martial arts training: if they're doing it right, they'll teach you to be more aware, not fearful. Maybe also just a little bit angry, that you even have to bother considering being defensive. Fear is generally counter-productive (and what a people count on using against you -- anything from social fear of "not being nice/polite" to physical fear of "OMG he has a gun").