I like to think I can trace my entire social and intellectual development (retarded and advanced, respectively) to my eyesight degenerating to the point where I got eyeglasses in first grade. That's a pretty big one. Low self-esteem led to alienation, both the group pushing away from me and me pulling away from the group, which led to loneliness, which lead to reading!
Speaking of which, books are lynchpins too, sometimes. It was starting to read Stephen King when I was... what, 10? When my parents took us on a family vacation to Vegas, and I brought some books along because I was too young to gamble. I think those were the first adult books I ever read, or close to it, and anyway King taught me much of how I look at the world these days.
Then there was Fight Club, the novel, which opened my eyes to entirely new (and seductive) way of writing, which is still incorporated into my own.
The same thing happened with Eraserhead, which was a different kind of movie from anything I'd ever seen. I didn't know if I liked it, and in fact, I've never been able to watch it a second time, but that one time, it was shocking. But it was really joining the film club in high school that led me to let my love of film grow and mature into the full-blown, life-defining passion it is today.
It's funny; as much as I ruminate over my past relationships, I'm not sure any of them really changed the core of me, or even set me on a new path towards something different. Well, except for the one that made me comprehend and accept my sexuality. That's a huge part of my identity. How strange it was, for friendship to shift so suddenly in that new direction...
And then there's Sluggy. Besides introducing me to new friends and new ideas, it was my first step towards a wider world through the internet to culture, politics, religion, and art...
How might my life have been different? Friends lost, connections missed... A childhood more aware of where my life was headed. But then, hindsight is 20/20. And maybe where I am is worth it. It might as well be. It's all I've got.
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I like to think I can trace my entire social and intellectual development (retarded and advanced, respectively) to my eyesight degenerating to the point where I got eyeglasses in first grade. That's a pretty big one. Low self-esteem led to alienation, both the group pushing away from me and me pulling away from the group, which led to loneliness, which lead to reading!
Speaking of which, books are lynchpins too, sometimes. It was starting to read Stephen King when I was... what, 10? When my parents took us on a family vacation to Vegas, and I brought some books along because I was too young to gamble. I think those were the first adult books I ever read, or close to it, and anyway King taught me much of how I look at the world these days.
Then there was Fight Club, the novel, which opened my eyes to entirely new (and seductive) way of writing, which is still incorporated into my own.
The same thing happened with Eraserhead, which was a different kind of movie from anything I'd ever seen. I didn't know if I liked it, and in fact, I've never been able to watch it a second time, but that one time, it was shocking. But it was really joining the film club in high school that led me to let my love of film grow and mature into the full-blown, life-defining passion it is today.
It's funny; as much as I ruminate over my past relationships, I'm not sure any of them really changed the core of me, or even set me on a new path towards something different. Well, except for the one that made me comprehend and accept my sexuality. That's a huge part of my identity. How strange it was, for friendship to shift so suddenly in that new direction...
And then there's Sluggy. Besides introducing me to new friends and new ideas, it was my first step towards a wider world through the internet to culture, politics, religion, and art...
How might my life have been different? Friends lost, connections missed... A childhood more aware of where my life was headed. But then, hindsight is 20/20. And maybe where I am is worth it. It might as well be. It's all I've got.