I list as Male, 100% cisgendered. I enjoy cross-dressing every now and then, I like doing things like getting full waxing, I'm enjoying having long hair, and use a mixture of three shampoos and three conditioners to keep it soft and silky. I like the feel of my skin when it's been cleansed and moisturised, and I enjoy cooking, and doing housework. It's taken me quite some time to get to this point, and I don't think I'd be nearly as far into it if I didn't have help from my not_in_denial.
One of the things that has come out of this is an understanding that these things don't make me less male. In fact, not even that being a bit femme is compatible with being male, but that being femme is being male to me. My masculinity naturally contains these things that might otherwise be considered feminine, but these are major parts of my masculine identity. Doing these things keeps me in touch with my masculine side, not my feminine side.
A few people have commented from all this that I'm a bit genderqueer, but I've never felt entirely comfortable taking up that identity for myself. I don't feel like I'm outside the gender binary. I'm just a rather unconventional man, with an unconventional masculinity.
I am attracted to Men and Women, with a bias towards men. I identify as bisexual, and at least for the moment I think that defines me quite well. I'm not omnisexual, and my sexual identity isn't non-gender defined (my boyfriend is quite different, actually - his sexual identity is Dominant. He couldn't give two figs about a person's gender, so long as they're Submissive). I have two very different target ranges - I go for masculine men and feminine women. I'm a big fan of bears as a rule (although I like the shaved muscle-men as well). I've noticed that I get attracted to angry men. But I like femme women as well. I like feminine curves. I'm not particularly attracted to butch women or high-femme men, although exceptions abound. This is more a guideline than a hard-and-fast rule, since a lot of my actual desire tends to spring from personality anyway.
With this said, I'm not comfortable around women. My upbringing, through no fault of anyone, built up women as these strange alien things, and I'm quite uncomfortable around women I don't know. This, as you might expect, seriously reduces my woman quotient at any given time. Once I get to know women, this goes away, but it does mean that picking up at a bar is likely to end in disaster for me. So, my sexual behaviour these days is very male-skewed. It's just easier for me to be sexually comfortable with women.
I consider myself Polyamorous. Both me and not_in_denial are firm believers in Polyamory, and now that both of us have a bit more of a handle on our issues, we're starting to branch out a little (the last two years have had the occaisional night with someone else, together, but nothing else). I've picked up a play-partner for BDSM activities, and he's picked up a possible new subby for his play as well. The relationships haven't gone sexual yet, but we have played sexually with others on one-time bases (usually with the other present in some capacity). It's been quite interesting as I've had to start actually putting a lot of skills to work that I've not needed to deal with throughout most of the relationship.
My Preferred pronoun is Male-set standard. I've really had no need for anything else.
no subject
One of the things that has come out of this is an understanding that these things don't make me less male. In fact, not even that being a bit femme is compatible with being male, but that being femme is being male to me. My masculinity naturally contains these things that might otherwise be considered feminine, but these are major parts of my masculine identity. Doing these things keeps me in touch with my masculine side, not my feminine side.
A few people have commented from all this that I'm a bit genderqueer, but I've never felt entirely comfortable taking up that identity for myself. I don't feel like I'm outside the gender binary. I'm just a rather unconventional man, with an unconventional masculinity.
I am attracted to Men and Women, with a bias towards men. I identify as bisexual, and at least for the moment I think that defines me quite well. I'm not omnisexual, and my sexual identity isn't non-gender defined (my boyfriend is quite different, actually - his sexual identity is Dominant. He couldn't give two figs about a person's gender, so long as they're Submissive). I have two very different target ranges - I go for masculine men and feminine women. I'm a big fan of bears as a rule (although I like the shaved muscle-men as well). I've noticed that I get attracted to angry men. But I like femme women as well. I like feminine curves. I'm not particularly attracted to butch women or high-femme men, although exceptions abound. This is more a guideline than a hard-and-fast rule, since a lot of my actual desire tends to spring from personality anyway.
With this said, I'm not comfortable around women. My upbringing, through no fault of anyone, built up women as these strange alien things, and I'm quite uncomfortable around women I don't know. This, as you might expect, seriously reduces my woman quotient at any given time. Once I get to know women, this goes away, but it does mean that picking up at a bar is likely to end in disaster for me. So, my sexual behaviour these days is very male-skewed. It's just easier for me to be sexually comfortable with women.
I consider myself Polyamorous. Both me and
My Preferred pronoun is Male-set standard. I've really had no need for anything else.