I suspect that only red-blooded homophobic males wouldn't have sex with themselves.

Yup. Sex feels good because of the endorphins more than anything else. Pain just releases more and different kinds. (It's also the reason why people who are having sex can hurt themselves pretty badly and not even notice. Endorphins=natural painkillers.)

Talk away, if you like, doesn't bother me. I bet you're wondering how and why I know all this, though. But that's for me to know and you to wonder, heh heh. :P