(no subject)

[sorcyress]

Looking for input:

1) Is there a good non-gendered, or gender-inclusive word that could provide about the same connotations as "gentleman"?

(A friend asked this on Flife, and it occurs to me that this would be a useful word for my life. Neither he nor I thinks "gentleperson" satisfies.)

2) So, a boy-shaped friend of mine asked recently if I had any suggestions for how to indicate "I am not a bad guy" when walking late at night near (specifically, but it could certainly be generalized) single¹ women. His biggest concern was what happens when he is walking at about the same pace as a woman, and behind her, such as to seem like he is following her (rather than both going in the same direction).

(Obviously walking the opposite direction from someone is easy to indicate "safe" --make eye contact, smile, maybe say "good evening" and keep walking.)

Oh, damn. Only now it occurs to me that I could've suggested he switch sides of the street, assuming the area is safe to do so. I mean...there's still the following problem, but especially if the woman is aware of you switching sides, there's an indication of giving space.

More suggestions?

~Sor
MOOP!

1: As in, "only one" not "unpartnered"

Comments

[woozle.livejournal.com]

1. A term often used in SF is "gentlebeing" -- not that this is a huge improvement over "gentleperson"; just another idea to toss into the bag.

2. Generally, position yourself in such a way that if you actually *were* an attacker, your victim would have advance warning that you were heading towards her. Duck into the street just a bit, for example. Focus your attention on other things so your "attention vector" doesn't go through her (a real attacker would be watching her for just the right moment to move), hesitate so you don't seem like you're about to do something (a real attacker would want to keep up momentum), aim yourself away from her so you'd have to turn in order to approach her, etc. Do whatever you can to increase the "warning margin".

I don't know how much any of these things actually help, but I think I've noticed mild "ok, I'm not alarmed now" vibes from individual women I've passed under these circumstances. I think. (This information is all somewhat dated, as the last time I was out walking after dark where there were other isolated people was probably Providence, 1989.)

[kdsorceress.livejournal.com]

I actually *really* like gentlebeing. Something about the non-human connotations, I guess.

~Sor