Peanut Butter and Jelly!
Aug. 12th, 2009 12:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressIt's been a couple months since I've tried to intentionally1 start a flame war, so let's2 have at it!
What is the best way to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
Remember, anyone who disagrees is probably a commie pinko slimeball who raises nazi kittens, so have at 'em!
~Sor
MOOP!
1: Intentionally? That kind of drama mongering would be WRONG! I would never do such a henious thing. Which is to say, I have probably let my shit-stirring instincts take over a couple times, but there's only one post I've ever posted that was posted *intentionally* to try and cause trolls, flames, and dramallamas. Bonus stalker points if you know which one.
((It pretty much worked, too, including way more drama than I expected, which is pretty fitting, honestly.))
2: let's = let us. The apostrophe means U!
What is the best way to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
Remember, anyone who disagrees is probably a commie pinko slimeball who raises nazi kittens, so have at 'em!
~Sor
MOOP!
1: Intentionally? That kind of drama mongering would be WRONG! I would never do such a henious thing. Which is to say, I have probably let my shit-stirring instincts take over a couple times, but there's only one post I've ever posted that was posted *intentionally* to try and cause trolls, flames, and dramallamas. Bonus stalker points if you know which one.
((It pretty much worked, too, including way more drama than I expected, which is pretty fitting, honestly.))
2: let's = let us. The apostrophe means U!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
on 2009-08-12 04:57 pm (UTC)With almond butter!
The One True Way to make a PB&J sand-witch
on 2009-08-12 05:00 pm (UTC)2. Throw in a few pickles.
2a. Stir.
3. Scoop up the
messresults with a slice of rye bread.4. Top with sprinkles.
5. Foist the results off on your least favorite sibling.
no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:02 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:05 pm (UTC)in the spirit of flame-warring...
on 2009-08-12 05:05 pm (UTC)With LINUX!!
I mean, do you really want Microsoft controlling your stomach?
*holds up picket sign: NO DRM ON MY PBJ!!*
Of course, if they try to take it back for copyright violation, I suppose they deserve what they get... >.>
P.S. Be careful about accepting any cookies with that sandwich...
P.P.S. *shamelessly makes copies of popular sandwiches and distributes them via BiteTorrent*
no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:06 pm (UTC)2. Separate and place on a flat surface so the faces which were previously touching now both face up. This is important! Misaligned bread is evil.
3. Spread peanut butter (preferably with bits of peanut still in it, certainly with peanuts [and, optionally, salt] as the only ingredients) on one slice of bread with a knife.
3.a. If packing sandwich for travel, spread peanut butter on the other slice as well to protect the bread.
4. Spread jelly on face of other slice of bread. You may use the same knife, but if you're using it to get the jelly out of the jar, wipe it very carefully on the available bread face. Only uncultured heathens get peanut butter into the jelly jar. Spread thickly, but leave a slight gap around the edge to avoid spooge.
5.a. Optional: stick the whole thing in the toaster oven for extra deliciousness.
5.b. Optional: for even more deliciousness, melt some butter in a frying pan and brown the sandwich in that instead, kind of like making grilled cheese.
6. Cut sandwich in half on the diagonal. It's actually better. I only learned this recently, but it makes sense. Triangles are more stable than rectangles.
7. Don't forget to clean up after yourself promptly, you don't want to be a boor.
The apostrophe means me? I'm so special!
no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:06 pm (UTC)~Sor
Re: in the spirit of flame-warring...
on 2009-08-12 05:10 pm (UTC)make sandwichusing agccthey compiled themselves.apt-get sandwichdoesn't count; that's like asking Mom to make it for you!no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:11 pm (UTC)We're clearly meant to be or something.
~Sor
no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:12 pm (UTC)*pelts Sor with all-natural home-grown sunflower seeds what are in the whole wheat bread she put it on!*
Re: The One True Way to make a PB&J sand-witch
on 2009-08-12 05:13 pm (UTC)MIXING PICKLES AND JELLY?! HAVE YOU GONE INSANE?!?!
~Sor
no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:14 pm (UTC)~Sor
Re: in the spirit of flame-warring...
on 2009-08-12 05:17 pm (UTC)Well *some* of us like our sandwiches all nice and GUI, buddy!
(Consistency? What's that?)
no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:18 pm (UTC)~Sor
no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:20 pm (UTC)Increment every section number beginning with 5 by one.
Add:
5. Close sandwich, putting the jelly on top of the peanut butter. What kind of idiot does it the other way so the weight of the peanut butter makes all the jelly squirt out of the sandwich? [Feel free to eat it upside-down for better jelly-tasting advantage if you like, though.]
no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:22 pm (UTC)1) The
jellyjam must not be grape.Fruit preserves are preferred, but simple 'jam' is acceptable. The type of jam is preferably 'red' - i.e. strawberry, cherry, raspberry, etc. I have yet to try blueberry, but I am open to the idea.
2) The flavor of the bread should not interfere with the flavor of the peanut butter or jelly. This usually means white bread (one of the rare instances in which I prefer white bread over wheat or other kinds), but there have been rare occasions where other breads have worked, too.
3) The sandwich must be cut into triangles.
As for the peanut butter... crunchy is preferred (and certainly gets bonus points), but it's not necessary.
Now I'm hungry. :P
no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:22 pm (UTC)Re: in the spirit of flame-warring...
on 2009-08-12 05:25 pm (UTC)But GUI sandwiches leak bits all over the place and are a horrible mess.
(It's the advantage you get from using real peanut butter, especially if you get the variety that isn't quite fully ground.)
no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:26 pm (UTC)Blueberry jam is totally delish, though I prefer my sweeter and more delicious jams to be on English muffins. Save the slightly less sweet ones, like strawberry and grape for sandwiches.
Also, creamy peanut butter is where it's at, just to be contrary. ((I do actually like crunchy, but, you know. Flames. Ya' pinko commie slimeball.))
~Sor
no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:27 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:28 pm (UTC)Peanut butter -- chunky or creamy, I don't care, but it can't be the hippie fresh-ground stuff. (I am betraying my usual hippie tendencies here, but I don't care. If it doesn't have any emulsifiers, there's no point!)
Strawberry jam -- preserves, please, none of that jelly stuff. If it doesn't have bits of whole fruit in it it doesn't count.
Peanut butter on one piece of bread, strawberry jam on the other, put 'em together and eat! Cheese on the side is optional but tasty. A glass of milk, ditto.
no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:34 pm (UTC)Whole wheat is sufficiently neutral in my experience that a decent peanut butter and jelly/jam/preserve can stand up to it, but I'll agree that I wouldn't go with a really interesting bread. But white bread is an abomination.
Also, you're completely right about grape.
no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:35 pm (UTC)Apply jelly to one side.
Apply peanut butter to the other.
Ingest.
(Alternatively, fuck the jelly and apply sliced bananas and honey a la Elvis. Thank ya'. Thank Ya' very much.)
no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:36 pm (UTC)*adds violet & redbud blooms to her sammich for extra sweetness & vitamin C!*
Peace, man ♥
no subject
on 2009-08-12 05:37 pm (UTC)Fuck the Jelly?!
FUCK the JELLY?!?!
You're a pervert.
~Sor