(no subject)

[sorcyress]

I know what I need right now, need more than just about anything else (much as I hate to "need" anything) and I equally know that circumstance makes it utterly impossible to achieve. I could get shadows, were I so inclined, but I don't especially think they'd help.

I honestly think I'd settle for anything, just one tiny fucking thing to go right today. Be able to flirt with that one girl without it hurting, not have the weather be terrible today, stop having mental spasms of unreasonably stalkerbased NRE, have my partner for my Italian project actually let me know ahead of time we have to push back our meeting, be able to get honestly into conversations, and not just roleplaying pretend...

...be able to donate blood. Or hell, I'd settle for not crying like an idiot because I couldn't. It happens like this every damn time I can't donate, which seems to be happening a shitload more often than it used to. I must've gotten more iron in high school --shocking, I know, considering how little meat I actually get around to eating. It doesn't *matter* how strong, how stable, how pragmatic and practical I feel going in. They tell me I can't donate, I sigh and wave goodbye and leave, and as soon as I can get myself tucked away where no one can find me, I take a moment to sob.

I hate failing, and I especially hate failing people. The double whammy of those hypothetical three persons my pint of blood could have saved paired with the slap across my face reminder that I'm not actually doing a good job of taking care of my body just breaks me down, every single fucking time. It's been more than a year since I've been able to give --whatever happened to me giving since mom can't? Third layer of failure, I *am* a spectacular daughter.

I'm gonna go crawl into a hole or something now. Talk to you lot later.

~Sor
MOOP!

Comments

[ednoria.livejournal.com]

kugelblitz gave blood regularly for years and years and years until they changed the rules on him -- now, because he's lived in the UK for at least 3 months, he can't donate, ever again. It makes him extremely angry.

[harena.livejournal.com]

*hugglebugglewuggles here too*

[swingerzetta.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I let the state of the world make me a bit jaded... I think people are inherently selfish and cruel, and that everyone would rather stay in their mansions complaining about whatever paltry little thing they can find to bring them down instead of lifting a finger to help another person.

I'm not sure if this counts, but your obvious desire to help three anonymous people even if it means giving up your own bodily fluids, well, that sort of reminds me that there ARE good people in the world. so, restoring my faith in humanity, that's something you've done right today, if that counts.

[crystalpyramid]

Iron pills are really wonderful things, just as insurance against getting turned away. (I pop a bunch the week before I donate and am generally fine.)

[kirby1024.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain with the blood donating. Considering that I would have to stay off the cock for 12 months before they let me donate, odds are smashing that I will never be able to donate blood ever again. Which is a shame, because I'm sure it would be very good blood. But we'll never know. :(

Anyone want to step forward?

[myarbor.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry I can't do it right now, but I'll ask all your friends out there: Is anyone able to give blood in Kat's name right now?

(Hey I thought I'd ask.)