sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
I am allowed to want things that aren't fair.

Really.

I'm not entitled to them, oh certainly not, but I am allowed to want anything and everything I want. And I'm allowed to say that, and see if I can get it, and make compromises, and work through things, because that is what mature adults do when they have desires. They take steps to see those desires through, be that to fulfillment or closure.

I am allowed to want things that restrict others' choices. I am allowed to ask them to let their choices be restricted. They are allowed to say no, and if they do, it means I get to learn how to deal with it. I like learning how to deal with things, it makes me feel strong.

And I am allowed to want anything and everything I want, no matter how dirty or terrible or unfair or cruel or indulgent or useless. Wanting is not bad. Actions are changeable, feelings are not, and desire is every bit as much a feeling as hatred or sadness or guilt.

(Sometimes I find myself repeating in my writing and need to change the words to be less the same. Sometimes I find myself repeating because repetition is ritual and saying the words over and over and *over* again sometimes makes it easier to hear them.

And so despite the fact that I know asking for restriction is not fair, and something I find horrific asked of me, I am still allowed to want it. I can cry because I feel betrayed, cry because I am jealous, cry for any number of fucked up fractured reasons (because I am a fucked up fractured person and know that I'm just very good at hiding it) but I cannot cry because I feel wrong for wanting.

Desire is not wrong.

And so it is written and so it shall be cast.
sorcyress: A character from a comic about the maintenance workers of the universe, holding a thumbs up and saying "MOOP!" (Zonker-MOOP!)
Some cooking notes from the last several days:

Nachos:
Lettuce should not go in the microwave. Chips should not go in the microwave for longer than *maybe* thirty seconds, and probably better cap it at fifteen. Seriously, about the only thing to go in the microwave is the meat if you have some, the salsa, and the cheese.

(Future order to try: Meat, salsa, until warm, add chips and cheese, give 'er fifteen more seconds *then* add lettuce and sour cream and devour. Will probably taste better.)

Also, if the only salsa in the fridge is medium, but you *have* mild in the pantry, you are allowed to open the mild, you know. It will taste better all around.

Milk goes really well with nachos, keep up the good work.

French Toast:
Do not undercook! Seriously, undercooked french toast tastes *nasty!*

Look, use the good little t-fal frying pan. Cook one handed --don't even bother with a spatula. When the toast stops sticking to the pan, it's ready to flip/done. It's brilliantly easy, mmkay?

Flipping french toast is really easy and makes me feel impressive.

CRACKING EGGS ON THE COUNTER INSTEAD OF THE SIDE OF THE BOWL IS SO AWESOME YOU GUYS!

Pasta:
Hon, if you're the one making the pasta, you get to pick what goes in the sauce, yes, even if you're outvoted two to one.

That being said, mushrooms are probably much better as part of the sauce then as a garnish. Just saying. Maybe try again tomorrow? Ignore the haters who don't want delicious fungus in their sauce. It's good for them.

Waffles:
The waffle iron is not non-stick you [badwords1]. Next time, use the pam, and we'll see how it goes from there.

Pancakes:
Again, if you're using the tiny t-fal god, go ahead and just assume that the pancake is cooked when it stop sticking to the pan. I didn't actually get to nom on any of these pancakes, so I don't know how they turned out, or have any other advice.

General:
You are kindof a whore for that little frying pan aren't you? Not that I really blame you --it works like a dream, especially for breakfast foods, but still. Huh.

Chris's law of cleaning continues to work like a dream. If you clean the dishes while they're still hot, you don't even have to scrub. It's brilliant.

***

New Methods of Rationality chapter is up! Go here!

~Sor
MOOP!

1: "dumb cunt" technically. Why my brain thinks it can get away with that sort of misogynistic bullshit is beyond me, but there we go. I've given it a proper talking to, don't you worry.
sorcyress: xkcd panel with a single character alone at the computer and the text "Some nights, typing *hug* just doesn't cut it." (xkcd hug)
I realized, on further consideration while seated in the stairwell where I am not meant to be, still not home because the promise of safety was too tempting, and then the floor too distracting, that I have not had a final waltz tonight.

(I sat, very specifically out, and was told by a friend that he saw why I had such high standards for waltzing.)

And so, nevermind that dancing was long done an hour ago even, and my muscles are cold, and I am wearing sneakers and jeans, I determine that indeed, a final waltz is in order. For want of a proper partner, I select myself, and for want of a band, I polite request that Miss Vera Serenfreude volunteer. She complies, and so a song is played.

And some nights, it helps to wash the pain away with good cheer, and I applaud those nights with a full heart when they arise. But others, it is recognized useless to even try, and truly, the best way to fight some moods is to let them win.

Freedom is being alone. I fear liberation.

Which is not quite appropriate, but the pain in the words is there, and even if it is not my exact pain, it helps. I howl along in points, and sob at others, and more important than any and all else, I dance. It is not a pretty dance, or organized, or well thought out, but it is perfectly honest, and when it comes down to it, honesty is more important than aesthetics when one's partner is themselves.

And so I leave this message for you, Sorceress Katarina R. Ruth de D. de Whimsy de A. de MOOP! den Boston den Earth den MOOP! ged Athe ged Gaea (because such messages sent to the future must have all the appropriate names and titles listed, lest they arrive in the wrong hands.)

Dance. Give your pain to movement, and nevermind that you are cold and ache and have vision blurred by tears. There has not been better therapy devised by mortals or gods for you than this, and you would be ill advised by your self to attempt a faulty substitute. Shut the doors and pull the shades and just fucking dance.

It helps.

~Me.
MOOP!

((And to those who wonder and worry, the dancing was preceded by writing, for if dance is my therapy, writing is my sanity. The words are harsh and made in pain, but the messages are there to be sorted on the morrow. More stable responses will be made, Conversations will be had, and everything will be better tomorrow, simply by nature of the fact that I will have traveled through time until I reach such a day, and the sheer idea is a delight all by itself. Think of tonight not as a problem, rather the first step of a solution. Good day and good night.))
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Oh, bytheway, at some point, I am going to get [livejournal.com profile] victoriana to help me write a movie. It will be called "Sassypants the Hippo will Fuck You Up!"

Hippos are scary mofos.

~Sor
MOOP!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
5:11:44 PM Akchizar: I have a spider bite!
5:12:21 PM Just Sor: I saw!
5:12:26 PM Just Sor: You're swell!
5:12:28 PM Just Sor: ...ed
5:12:31 PM Akchizar: ....
5:12:43 PM Akchizar: Why do I even let you talk

My day is going somewhat better. I have an obscenely chocolate...thing that is actually far too much on the wet chocolate1 side of the spectrum for me to actually enjoy it, and potato chips, and mango nakedsmoothie.

And Italianstuffs went okay, I just have to get with the memorizing. Oh hey, dear everyone! I give you FULL PERMISSION to hit me with sticks if you ever hear of me giving my students group projects. Seriously, man. *such* a bad fucking idea.

Also, student center is significantly better air conditioned than my room. Looks like Ver and I are going to have to be social for a while. eirghnkglgvojrmninety fucking degreesgkhjalefg

Oh good, I have talking privileges back. And yes, this *does* appear to be an "eight dozen posts in one day" day, however did you guess?

~Sor
MOOP!

1: I like dry chocolate things --chocolate cake, brownies, muffins, etc. I don't like wet chocolate things -ice cream, pudding, frosting. Yeah. I don't really get it either.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Woo!

Soyeah, it's my first day of classes for the new semester! So far I have taken Italian, which has a very Italian teacher ohmygod (her accent is...not my thing, but still kinda awesome) and eaten lunch. It's been a productive day.

On the plus side of everything, I think I may actually be getting at least one meal into me at least three days a week because there is a lovely hour long break between Italian and Calc (YAY CALC YAY CALC YAY CALC!) which should be spent entirely on the main campus where the food is. So yayfood.

And presumably, I can arrange to grab things to eat the other two days of the week as well. So this is a good arrangement, despite having all my classes on campus this semester rather than at Porter Exchange.

There was something else I wanted to say, but I don't know what. Um. Yaymoney? Oh, cage matches! Right, cage matches. *is notetoself*. Also, thing.

Damnit, I took my focusmeds today! (For the first time in over a month) I should not be this scattered! Ah well. I think it's time for me to go to class now. Ta!

~Sor
MOOP!

(Yes, I know boring entry is boring. You can scroll past it, if you read this first. :D)
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
So, day!

Woke up at eleven thirty or so. Totally intended to stay in bed through three hits of my (five minute) snooze alarm, but my bladder expressed disapproval of this and I had to get up1. This is, I'm sure, more than you wanted to know.

Washed hair2, got back to the room, found a message on my phone from Maddie being all "food?" Went and ate lunch with Maddie and Emily and Ria, Maddie ran off, Ria, Em, and I went up to Ria's room and watched YouTube videos for a while. Eventually, Ria had to catch the shuttle to AIB, so Emily and I went walking towards Harvard Square, so I could run a SEKRIT MISSION and so Emily could meet up with her boyfriend.

Secret mission accomplished, boy gathered, and Maddie aquired (we found her!) the four of us trekked off towards Oona's, which is a bit like a high end thrift store. Or, in other words, it's one of those stores that steals money using magic money stealing techniques. On the plus side, I now have a bitchin' brown velvet jacket that I'm sure I will use in some costume, someday (It was only two dollars!) *and* I have another short skirt3. So, I suppose it was a successful trip.

Walked back, hung out with Maddie for a bit and chatted, then walked inside the student center, totally intending to go upstairs and get on my blacks and get Vera and stuff. Got waylaid by a bunch of awesome people, including Nick Wookie and his mom, and the ever-wonderful LezzieBeth, who is the biggest dyke on campus. And this is Boston, so that's saying something.

Quote of the day is wins:

Beth: Yeah, and I've been asked to be in threesomes like twelve times.
Nick: Beth! This is my MOTHER!
Nick's Mom: *covers Nick's ears with her hands* It's okay, I have been too.
Nick: ..........*dies*

And I have resolved to tell everyone in the cast this quote, in order to get revenge on Nick for yesterday when he pulled me onstage during bows. Fucker.

Andyeah. Have been doing theatre things since about five. *waves and runs off to continue*

~Sor
MOOP!

1: This is, I'm sure, more than you wanted to know.
2: NTS, buy more conditioner. Other NTS, you apparently use conditioner faster than you use shampoo.
3: I'm not silly enough to call them dangerously short anymore, since everyone bitched at me about it last time. :P
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Dumbly-dore!)
Hum. Apparently, wearing dangly earring(s) achieves the same visual effect of putting my hair up in a bun, it makes my neck look longer, and gives me (to my eye, at least) a more femme look.

*makes a mental note to study Magus next time she sees him with his hair both down and up and see if it does the same thing to him*

Also, NTS: Clearing out the cache and history is probably good for my computer ocassionally, however, I need to remember that that's going to wipe out the autofill in my URL bar. Which isn't bad, per se, it just means that I need to remember things like "http://livejournal.com/update.bml" instead of being able to type in "liv" and hitting the down arrow three times.

Or I can just reach pages the old fashioned way. Yeah, that's likely.

~Sor
MOOP!

P.S: Currently on skip 100 entries. Wooo, almost there!!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
When the friends list stops being updated with peoples talking, then you should go to bed. Because it's late. And you're being a hurfdurf* by not sleeping.

In other news, the people on the other side of the world from me ([livejournal.com profile] thorog, [livejournal.com profile] mikethegirl, [livejournal.com profile] mcgig, [livejournal.com profile] lunaticvermin, and I believe [livejournal.com profile] kirby1024, and [livejournal.com profile] angrysunbird) need to post more late at night. Cause hell, it's like three in the afternoon over there. Prime time for elljaying.

Okay, right sleep. Byeee!

~Sor
MOOP!

*Ask [livejournal.com profile] madamluna
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Shun!)
Dear Self:

Drinking contests of any sort are a bad idea. Yes, even if you're drinking something non-alcholic. Especially if you're drinking a slushie, which is frickall cold, and has a weird texture.

On a similar note, if you eatdrink too much sugar during lunch, it's liable to have the same effect on you as when you drink a big ol glass of coffee in the morning right after taking your meds.

(((On an unrelated note, you need to refill your meds)))

On a similar note, although the slushies are very green and very tasty, don't ever do that to yourself again. They're expensive, and that much sugar is bad for you.

Much love
~Sor

P.S: You owe Tommy a buck 25. You owe the world YouTube footage of Sorcy and her friends being idiots.
sorcyress: Picture of a smiling tampon with the phrase "Girls: We're so emo we don't even NEED to cut ourselves" (Emo-period)
Checklist/Todo:

1KBWC
Tickets
ID (Or at least, mines ready. I can only hope Blue's found hers.
Jewelry
Hair (V or her mom is doing it for me at three.)
Dress (Well...I have it. I should go make sure it fits. >.<
Pens for 1KBWC
Dice
Directions
Flower for Blue
Luck
Shoes
Shower

...

I feel like such a girl. Really, I've no clue how this is going to work. Maybe it'll rock. Maybe it'll suck.

And there is something incredibly wonderful about the feeling of opening up your beautiful glittery beaded purse that's just as girlish as can be, and dropping in your leatherman.

AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH!

Right. Going to shower and find jewelry. Back soon.

~Sor
MOOP!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Suicide Marsha)
It's times like this when I've got a trainwreck of a room to clean, and I speant four hours on one stupid assignment that I was an idiot and didn't do over break when I had time and I had to skip kung-fu, and Aly's been bitchy, and I'm CLEARLY PMSing, and I've got so much shit to do for English, and that's not even counting the huge project I've got and I've had to skirmish with Her now TWICE today, and my brain is quietly imploding, and I haven't read my webcomics since Sunday, and I shouldn't even be posting this, and all I want is to SCREAM!...

Dear world. Fuck off. Love Kat.

P.S: No, I'm not going to jump off a bridge or cut myself or take up smoking or do something similarily stupid. Stop worrying.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Movies I've Seen in the Past Few Days:

To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar
Clue
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
The Linguini Incident

For three days, thats a lot of movies. Especially considering that the only one I'd ever seen before was Clue.

They're good stuff. Linguini Incident is BIZARRE! As is Wong Foo, but that's just a chick-flick. With drag queens. Shh.

I have nothing else to say. This is really more an NTS then anything else.

~Sor
MOOP!

Life

Apr. 1st, 2006 02:12 pm
sorcyress: Just a picture of my eye (Me-Eye)
So, yesterday was a lot of fun, and pretty much all really spectacular, except for pissing Veronica off. I'm sorry dear, I didn't mean to yell at you. >.<

Woke up far too early in order to harass Flinx. This time, Aly came along with me. The three of us wound up playing a brilliant game of 1KBWC. The last card played (by me, of course) goes as follows:

"Hurts my head like math"
Take all cards with a number on them and remove them from the game.

This was....all but maybe a dozen cards. It rocked. Aly won though, she had the Z card-you get x + y points. Wench.

After that was malling. I got to get in a LOVELY bit of conversation with Flinx, and learned that he's still a Rocky Horror virgin! Mea nd Jaimee have decided that we need to fix that.

Bought some earings at claires. I now have a gift card with a total balance of $0.02. Gnarr.

Went home and cleaned, and sulked, and yelled at people for being argumentive (I can't stand it...I really can't. I love my sibling both dearly, but the second you assign the two of them to do the same chore...Grr!!)

Then Spyro, which I have been playing. I'm properly anal about it-I have 100% on every level I've done. This included doing that first flying level something like four dozen times until I could get everything...I was so proud when I made it, too.

I really really like Spyro. It is exactly my kind of game, what with the things to puzzle out, and the set goal- you know when you can get 100%, and it tells you how many gems or dragons there are in a level. And it's *fun*

And puzzling things out? That rocks. I feel proud when I figure the hard ones out, like that stupid jump twisty glide you had to do. Aig. That took forever.

Babysitting...Koob was a doll, as usual. He had an INCREDIBLE amount of energy, more then usual. I wound up outside with him for a LOT of swinging for nearly an hour. I finally just dragged him up and let him run around on the porch for a while since I just couldn't chase him anymore. Video, and then he CRASHED! It was really cute. I love the little monkey.

And DUDE! I can't remember if I babbled about it in here or not, but I got to hold a skull! A real one, from a human!! It was SO NEAT!

Her name is Glynda, and she is [livejournal.com profile] ednoria's. She's AWESOME.

From babysitting, to the bar, and assorted other important chats, such as with Thorog or with the Master of Bad Timing. I have something like four pictures to draw for dares, since everyone kept calling on me. I must be popular or something. :p So you lot will be seeing another art update fairly soon, methinks.

Including embaressing pictures of me! Yay for those!! I think I need to do one of my pretty pretty ballarina ones, although mom stumbled across a fairy princess picture of me. Really, embaressing pics of me aren't that hard to find. I was the first child, so mom took a TON of pictures, and I was SUCH a girly-girl, so theres a lot of pink and dresses and barbie pictures of me. Greeeeeeat.

I think I've run out of things to talk about.

Well, ok, no I haven't. But it's none of your buisness, so nyah.

That is all.

~Sor
MOOP!

NTS: Things to do this weekend:
Grandpa's birthday party today
Sam and Liana's wedding tomorrow
Read Nathan's novel at some point
Draw the Kilt war pic
Draw the Z/Z pic
Draw the non-graphic R/H pic (Hey...'member, I'm not 18 yet. I shouldn't be looking at...that kind of picture, much less drawing it. Plus, I know it'll piss off Reth and Hyde if I say that. :D)
Find/scan embaressing pictures

I think thats everything...

Interviews

Mar. 31st, 2006 10:41 pm
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
I've been interviewed! By Aren, V, Momo, Fish, and Katters! )

And that is all. Time to go be quite dr0nk some more.

...not that the results are entierly bad. Stil though. NTS: Don't drink anything Kat gives me and won't tell me what it is.
NTS2: Certainly don't drain the thermous if she does.

~Sor
MOOP!

*shrugs*

Mar. 29th, 2006 06:51 pm
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
:p

Curse non-boring lectures!

~Sor
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
...Pressing the 'refresh' button does *not* nessecarily make the page you're glaring at show what you want to see.

*makes vague promises to provide you with actual updates about my life, as well as a writingy bit I'm working on, responses to all your lovely answers (Scooter...tsk! ;-)) and maybe some more notes on my story.*

...Later.

~Sor
MOOP!

(((PostScript: I found the original notecards where I wrote everyone who was playing and what they were for the Very First Game of Werewolves. Anybody interested?

Yes, Kat, you played. You were the Seer.)))

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