MOOP!

So, ever since 2009, I have kept a list of the Top Songs of any given year --songs that I played over and over again, that earwormed into me, that had a serious impact, or meant something meaningful, or changed my life (in big ways and little).

This has actually been a really quiet year, musically. I haven't been listening to stuff as much, I haven't been music trancing as much. In the first half of the year, I was doing a lot of howling my pain into song --that hasn't been nearly as true for the past several months. I'm not really sure what happened, but it makes me a little sad. I _like_ having noise to help soothe my mind.

But anyways, in mostly chronological order, ( music! And apologies, because I babble more every year )

And despite this post being long enough already (serves me right for doing this *before* the yearly recap), there are a few songs that I watched over and over on YouTube.

*The newest Where the Hell is Matt: Trip the Light
*jere7my got me hooked on Macklemore and Lewis's Thrift Shop (best. rap. ever!)
*Tumblr now has an entirely accurate anthem: I Live Life on Tumblr
*There were possibly forays into "Call Me Maybe", "Gangnam Style", and "Party Rock", but if you can't find those on your own, you're probably better off. What can I say, I really like pop!
*And by far my favourite YouTube sensation of the year, Bad Romance: Woman's Sufferage. Unf. Hits me right in the activism. And the video is ten times better if you've seen Lady Gaga's original video as many times as I have.

It's over!

~Sor
MOOP!

Just finished up the Vienna concert. Somewhat swooning, because man, that was all kinds of awesome. Both as a concert (Vienna, omgee!!) and as a technological thing, where I am sitting in the middle of my kitchen, in a chatroom with strangers, listening to Vienna. And when I don't know the lyrics I can look them up, and that's kinda completely awesome actually.

She played The Tower. First thing and right off the bat, and my heart fluttered and sung and everything was perfect forever. Then she played some other songs off her first album --in order, Daughter, Say Uncle, Drought, Gravity, Eric's Song, and Unwritten Letter Number One (For which she forgot the lyrics partway through, which was very cute, and the chatroom (which she had scrolling and could look over and read --this will be important in a minute-- exclaimed over the correct line for her.)

And then she played Between. And I flung myself from my seat, grabbing my speakers and getting them set up properly in a matter of seconds, because the music was just enough too soft and I couldn't have that, if I was going to dance, I was going to dance loudly. So now I have danced --fractured and stiff and strange-- to Between.

Someone in the chatroom asks her to tell the story behind Between, and she does, and she mentions that it didn't quite come together until she took a dance class. In the chat, I exclaim "Cross-step waltz!" into the rapidfire chatter of fans, which doesn't really matter until Vienna looks over and goes, "Yes cross-step!"

...and she's still talking but my mind is reeling at this tiny sliver of being touched by fame. For she is Vienna and all-powerful and she has just responded to what I said and oh. my. god.

That was cool.

Anyways, she wrapped up with Soon Love Soon (and I'm convinced that *everyone* was singing along, despite the miles and time zones between us). And then she was gone, with a beautiful smile and a wave, and we're left to our own chatter for a few minutes. And that was that.

I approve heartily of this sort of thing, and simply can't wait until the next one.

~Sor
MOOP!

So, I was cruising around on Bandcamp earlier, looking to see if they offer gift certificates. (I will probably e-mail them and ask.)

Bandcamp is a music site, allowing artists to put up their music, have people listen to, and download or buy it. It seems like a functional site, and I smile when I run into it, since it's run by people who know what they're doing, both in terms of music presentation (you can download music in ALL the formats, basically), and computer functionality.

(How do I know about it? Because Andrew Hussie uses it to sell the Homestuck albums, all of which are pretty awesome. Again, something about my wanting gift certificates so I can pick and choose and not wind up with doubles.)

At any rate, I am hanging out on Bandcamp and reading their FAQ page. I get to this one:

How do I make the shared player autostart?
Welcome home! We trust your 8 year expedition to the heart of the Amazon was a great success. SO much has happened since you left. The first Delawarean was elected Vice President of the United States, the Chronicles of Riddick defied box office expectations, and tabbed browsers became commonplace. As a result, many web enthusiasts now open tabs as they surf. Autostarting media players don't play well with this behavior, since they put you in a position of wondering whoah, where is that sound coming from and then force you to play find-the-tab-making-your-eardrums-bleed. AUTOSTART IS EVIL is a fairly common refrain nowadays, and who are we to disagree?

That answer alone makes them my new favourite website on the internet.

~Sor
MOOP!

So, the other day I was going through old 750words posts and stuff, and pulled out a bunch of things that I thought were worth saying in public.

A lot of them are kinda depressing, because I think words often flow better when they've got a pinch of melancholic to them. But here. It's like a sundries post, only just with things I've written.

Author's notes are in italics

---

There is a boy.
Who likes me and other girls.
And likes me more _anyways_.

***

Being loved by someone sweet and devoted to me is nice, and I love them all for it.

But being loved by someone sweet and devoted to me over other girls is just a whole different realm of exciting. And of course, we don't actually have much of a romantic relationship at all, but still.

I've never been the girl who wins before. It's the scariest damn thing, but gods help me, I like it.

Yeah, this was really startling when I realized it for the first time, and I still kinda refuse to believe it's true.

And of course, there is no "winning" in poly (except maybe making everyone involved in your relationship scheme happy) but there's also not quite a word to express what I mean here. I am perfectly content to be right where I am in all the relationships I'm in --hence the reason I'm in them-- but sometimes it's nice to realize all a sudden that someone thinks you're special enough to set aside a girl who is clearly hotter and more interesting than you are.

---

...then it just hurts more and I am tired of it hurting _more_. Things aren't supposed to keep hurting more. Shouldn't pain level out at some point?

Yes. Yes it should. I think this particular pain might've gotten close to level for now, the problem is just that level is a lot of pain, and so I can only lock it away for so long before it rages at me again.

What, no, I'm not emo, nope.

---

I hate because the only other option is to hurt, and this hurts so bad I'm not sure I can deal.

I don't remember who or what I hate here. Very plausibly myself.

---

And really, if you don't have all your words sorted out beforehand, if you don't know what you're going to say, what's the point of trying to say it anyways? I'm a fucking writer, if I can't put a problem into words, there's probably not much of a problem in the first place.

...and even if I can put it into words, I'm a cynic, and a victim and extremely clever. If I can put it into words, I can figure out arguments against the problem until it no longer exists, or boils down to just me being a tiny idiot. And no one but me can fix me being a tiny idiot.

And this is why I am not very good at speaking up when there is something wrong in one of my relationships. If I can sort it out on my own, because I was just being silly, why would I bother my partner?

Yeah, I'm _really_ not good at this relationship thing. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.

---

And when the going gets tough, I am presented with one option -to overwhelm myself in sensation.

Tense certain muscles past any reasonable point, shut my eyes tight, or stare meditatively into something lovely, or run and run until the body runs out of energy, or most used of all, drown my internal monologue in music.

I drown myself in music all the time. Hell, let's be honest here, it's one of the most useful coping mechanisms I currently have in order to fight bottom. I get sad, I pump on the Next to Normal, or s00j, or Vienna, or whatever else I've got, and I make the sad, if not go away, at least have to struggle past the noise to actually get to me.

It's a really really nice coping mechanism. It also means that I'm going to be deaf before I turn thirty.

My made up mind was not put here for you to try and change. Cheers, s00j.

---

But the best part of today is that I've hit upon two separate things that make me incredibly _incredibly_ happy.

The first is pretty logical. Giving Blood. Me donating a pint makes me both incredibly pleased with myself, and punchy as fuck due to the light-headedness. I am okay with this state of affairs, especially if it makes me unlazy enough to go give blood more often than the twice yearly I've been doing.

Speaking of which, I'm almost eligible again. Anyone want to go to the red cross with me this weekend?

---

I am amused by Hyde, protecting me from the ghosts that lurk for hours after I read anything creepytastic, no matter how far I remove myself from the immediate.

"Don't worry dear. There is nothing in this house as scary as I. Except maybe for you."

Oh, excellently played you delightful fucker.

y'all do know who Hyde is, right? He lives in my head and gives me not terribly good advice. Because I am, say it with me folks, a little bit broken.

---

I am, for the first time in my life, willingly sitting out while actively at dance.

I just...don't feel like dancing. I'd say maybe I'm tired, except I know I've danced in physically worse shape before --and that's not even counting on the sprained ankle!

No, I just can't cope with the idea of doing more dances tonight. There is apparently a point where the pain of dance overtakes the pleasure --I know, I didn't realize it could happen either. But there is, and I've finally hit it.

***

I don't want to sob in the middle of the dance hall, in the middle of a waltz. I don't know that I could explain why if I did. I do know that I don't ever want to have to. I hate crying, I hate the pain, and I hate people giving me sympathy, because I hate being weak enough to need other people.

All I want is to just be strong enough to survive independent of outside forces. Maybe that means I need to break up with everyone, not have outside forces that affect me any longer. GO LIVE IN A CAVE AND BE A HERMIT, SOR!

I am such a whiny cunt¹. It is beyond me why anyone at all gives a damn about me in the first place. :P

Cunt explained below. No, you don't get an explanation for the rest of it. But this is a pretty common mental path --emo -> yelling at myself for being emo.

---

Dog and I get along well, and that's really really important.

I need to remember that having friends who I can bitch about the odd parts of my life to are a really crucial thing for me to have. I also need to remember how much I appreciate having friends who will slap me down when I am using inappropriate language, or otherwise being an elitist jerk. (see also, Jesse glaring at me when I used bitch. I want to give him a cookie and a hug for that alone)

Dog is awesome. I really want to hang out with him more this fall, when I'm back in Boston.

---

(I don't know how to feel about the fact that I'm using Amanda right now for a little extra bit of stability. She is a fucking idiot. But her art, when it's good...

It's good. It's the best. Right now I am angry and hurt and sad and scared. And that is the perfect mood for listening to Amanda, because she will reinforce the parts that are okay to be reinforced, and she will eradicate the parts that need to just Go Away.

I use music to blank myself out. She's really really good at that.

Hate the artist, love the art? I don't even know anymore. It is so hard to be a good person sometimes.)

Can we have an Amandadebate-free space in my journal comments? I'd appreciate that.

Yes, this is all just because I handle arguments extremely poorly, and I can't freak out and walk four miles in this state.

---

I find it telling that I've had two boys in a row who were just for sex. And I'm in love with both of them.

Sex is a bit of a misnomer --I have what the Shakers² call an "unsullied cunt", which is apparently terribly valuable and should be protected at all costs. But boys who I am into with the kissing and such, and not the romantics. And...yeah. My traitor of a heart has started to sigh wistfully, and doodle our initials together on my school notebooks.

---

The emotion involved, this is more than sex. Sex is just endorphins and dopamine. Waltzing is...joy.

So, I almost just wrote "fucking _this_" as my author's note. Which means that I just tried to emphatically agree with something I wrote. So, uh, yeah, I'm a bit of an idiot.

---

~Sor
MOOP!

1: This is not a word that I should use. It's a slur, flat and simple, and I should not use it to refer to myself (which I do, occasionally), or any other woman (which I don't.)

That being said, there are a lot of things I call myself that no one else may touch, and yes, cunt is one of them. There's a hardness to it, all edges and corners and sharp, and in some moods, the words I feel that fit best are the words that fit this hardness.

2: See also, Shakesville here, and the specific origin of the term unsullied cunt here.

So this is technically fifteen minutes late. Sue me, it's not tomorrow until the sun rises or I sleep.

A week ago, I made a post being all "Half-Naked Thursday, whee!". It was meant to be a look at more metaphorical nakedness, stripping down the walls to show you what I've really got going on in my world.

At any rate, then I mentioned that I originally had two photos and was only showing one of them. This makes this weeks HNT really really easy for me to manage --next week, I will have to actually look around to find a bit of myself to reveal, if indeed, I continue on with this trend.

But yes. Have a picture of me being naked. Odd, in that it's also not a picture of me at all.

Happy Thursday.



This second is a little more new, a little more raw. It's the ceiling of my room, directly above my desk.

A week or two ago, I was having a rough night. In talking with Rackle, she brought up the term "Index card days", where you're just so socially frustrated and out of cope that you have to communicate through tiny 3" by 5" cards.

I have a pile in my desk drawer. Out they came that day, and it seemed the most logical thing in the world to write some song lyrics across them. Lyrics from strength-songs, where the lyrics don't necessarily matter in the slightest, but the message of being strong is crucial to my well being. "Go Away Godboy" is the song I use the most for this --I've never really had problems with people trying to convert me or mine, but howling along with the words can stabilize my mood like nothing else.

Because the words are meant to say "fuck you, I'm stronger than that", and on days when I am weak and helpless, I really need that.

And I forced myself out of the sobbing¹ to write more of them, because if I am actively writing, I am forcing distraction, and that little edge of distraction is all I need sometimes to stabilize. All of them have wound up there, tucked into the framework of the drop ceiling. I've got ten of them now, apparently. I'm sure that, as I enter this mood, and need the music and lyrics, I'll think of more.

So that's my current vulnerability. Come visit, I'll let you read them if you'd like.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Which itself was after that pervasive emptiness, and broken by my reaching out. I don't like playing shitty girl games, and I hate being cryptic, but that doesn't mean I manage to make all my words to people transparent. There are people who can read between the letters and the lines, through the /me and the carefully arranged punctuation and capitalization, and figure out what I'm actually trying to say over IM, that I just can't, because the words just won't come.

...and because there isn't an elegant way to put what I'd be doing in reality into words. It's that vulnerable look when I arrive on your doorstep, and ask for a hug, and pull myself into you, a double fistful of your shirt as I hide inside your arms, and pour myself out onto your shoulder. It's past want, straight into need, and I don't have a lot of people I've done it to, or *could* do it to (two? maybe three?) and I'm about to lose one of them, but I don't care, because sometimes there's safety there, and that's what I need more than anything else, that memory of safety. ((ETA: Holy run-on sentences, Batman! But this is kinda what my brain starts doing when I am in a vulnerable state))

It's an index card with eight words on it. It's an IM with eleven. It's being held, and being *held* and being held. It's the stairwells at Springstep, and just out the door at NEFFA. It's the long process of reducing the scarred and improving the weird. It's crying in June with the door shut, it's crying in July curled in the arms of someone I can't have, it's crying in August to a boy I barely know, it's crying-sobbing-breaking in January as I watch Next to Normal and try to separate their pain from mine, and try to find the strength I need to say the words I can't, I couldn't, I did.

It's the response I need, when I need it. It's breaking the emptiness with a *kiss*, and breaking the sobs with an *embrace*. It's *comfort*, from everyone who's ever given it.

And it's s00j and Dar and Vienna and Amanda and Alice.

If you can figure out a quicker way to tell people I need "that" than all the above, I'd love to hear it.

Y'all miss me? I was looking back over my archive and realized I've made painfully few posts this month. This is a damn shame, and I'm gonna see what I can do about fixing it a bit.

'Cause what doesn't kill me, doesn't kill me, so fill me up for just another day!

I don't like depressing music.

This might surprise a lot of you, who I'm sure have observed the lyrics I post and tweet with a skeptical eye. How is "freedom is being alone, I fear liberation" not depressing, for instance. And do you really expect us to think you don't like depressing music given how often you use music to sob?

I do use music to sob. I use music to sob out the last of the pain and force it away from my head so I'm empty. It's a hell of a lot easier to reach stability from empty than from anywhere else. Music doesn't make me sad. It makes me stable.

And so the music I really like, when I'm in one of Those Moods? It's not sad music. I skip the slit-your-wrists emo and goth in exhange for music that puts me into an entirely different mood.

I like music that makes me hopeful. "Go Away Godboy" is a song about telling the bad things to sod off. "Oasis"¹ is about how much life sucks, so might as well dwell on the positive. "Whatever You Want" is a song of taking power back.

And Next to Normal?

Every song I regularly listen to out of Next to Normal is a hopeful song. The whole musical is tinted by the pain and frustration and misery exhibited by every member of the family. And the songs I like? Are about fighting back, against your family, against your insanity, against your fear, and against your whole damn potential of inexistence.

This is music that goes straight past eleven into the category of howling along at the top of my lungs, and laughing maniacally as I do so. In chronological order, "Just Another Day", "Everything Else", "You Don't Know", "I Am The One", "I'm Alive", "I've Been", "Didn't I See This Movie?"², "I'm Alive (reprise)" "The Break", "Maybe (Next to Normal)", "I Am The One (reprise)", and "Light" are all songs I can no longer listen to at a normal volume, because they are just so good at drowning out my internal monologue when sung along with.

It's not all the songs from the show that I have starred, but it's all the ones I have starred for a reason other than just being clever with the lyrics or musically fun. And you have no idea how hard it is not to toss in lyrics from every song I mentioned. No idea, because this musical is Just That Good.

So no, I don't listen to sad music. Why bother? Sad music would just reinforce the mood. I don't want to reinforce moods when I fight bottom. I want to break them.

And you find some way to survive. And you find out you don't have to be happy at all, to be happy you're alive.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: (pre-note: Do not be with the Amanda wank in my comments. I'm still not sure I'm recovered from the last batch. There are plenty of other places to discuss her and the issues surrounding her right now.) It does not matter what else wank Amanda brings to the world, for this song, I will always have at least a little bit of respect for her. Hell, if she gets bad enough, I will rerecord this song myself, because it is a perfect microcosm of how I feel about all the doom and gloom in my world.

After all, I've seen better days but I don't care, oh I just got a letter in the mail, Oasis sent a photograph, it's autographed and everything, Melissa's gonna wet herself I *swear!*

(I really really like faking it like a giggly giddy typical teen girl. I have scared people with my like totally valley cheerleader voice OMG! It pleases me that Amanda does this at least a little bit too --hide the pain behind enough snark, and maybe people will never realize you're in pain in the first place.)

2: Curses, I missed a chance to quote swatches of this one in every day conversation. Yes, because sometimes my life is just that fantastic and weird.

So, a couple weeks ago on my Twitter, I said the following: I am thinking about making a list of songs that particularly influenced or affected me this year. Anyone interested in seeing it?

Between getting a handful of yes responses, plus my general opinion that it doesn't really matter what you guys want when it comes to blogging --if I want to write a post, I will-- means that it's time for that post. A fitting first post for the New Year, yes? (certainly better than kvetching about my uterus deciding to hate me)

So, some music that particularly ties in with 2009, or something like that, sorted by the date it was first added to my itunes:

Half Jack by The Dresden Dolls, added 2007 11 28, played through June to Septemberish

Let's Dance to Joy Division by The Wombats, added 2008 06 06, played mostly in the early half of the year/late 2008

One of the many songs I adore that are basically "life sucks so let's BE HAPPY ANYWAYS FUCK YEAH WOO!"

New York City by They Might Be Giants, added 2008 09 11, played especially around June

May or may not kinda sorta a little bit be mine and Brenton's song, if we had such a thing as a song. Was given to me by Tho, and associates with him in my mind, too. Also, my second favourite TMBG song, after Birdhouse.

Ampersand by Amanda Palmer, added 2008 10 13, livejournal'd in January, played a lot around then.

Oasis by Amanda Palmer, added 2008 10 13, played in June and throughout the next few months

Another really one of those WOO LIFE SUCKS SO LET'S ROCK OUT WOO! songs. Also known as The Happiest Song About Rape and Abortion You'll Ever Hear!

Things You See in a Graveyard from Repo! The Genetic Opera, added 2008 12 07, played throughout the first few months of the year

The Leslians and I were really into Repo, for a spell. Still kinda are.

Die Vampire Die! from [Title of Show], added 2009 01 04, played throughout the year, peaking repeatedly

Around the World by ATC, added 2009 01 25, played all the damn time

It's the fifth most played song in my entire iTunes. Very dancy, good for walking around or driving.

2000 Soulchild Remix by Gorillaz, added 2009 03 05, played around Otakon

IT'S THE MUSIC BABBAGES!

...Go Ask Alys.

Whatever You Want by Vienna Teng, added 2009 04 08, played over and over and over again

...and over and over and over and over again. My love affair with this song is no secret. Nor is the fact that it makes me cry, often.

Stray Italian Greyhound by Vienna Teng, added 2009 04 08, played mostly the last two or three months --November/Decemberish

And this one makes me smile. It is a love song, sung by someone unused to the idea.

Go Away Godboy by S.J.Tucker, added 2009 05 26, played whenever it needed to be. A dozen times when I first got it, and sparingly and only when necessary since.

And I don't care to admit just how often it has been necessary --scanning my twitter for the lyrics will begin to give you a rough sense. But this song is strength and power and beauty and wonderful.

It cannot be listened to at less than eleven.

Love Story by Taylor Swift, added 2009 07 12, played mostly in July, but occasionally throughout the rest of the year too.

I hate the lyrics of this song with an unimaginable passion. "WHEE COME SAVE ME ROMEO AND WE'LL GET MARRIED!" But part of being unashamed of my non-ironic enjoyment of pop music involves being relatively aware of the fact that much of pop music does have the terrible lyrics thing going on.

Sigh.

Don't Stop Believin' from Glee, added 2009 07 21, played throughout the latter half of the year

Between Alys and me, I do believe mom now hates this song.

Doctor Jones by Aqua, added 2009 08 05, played a lot in August

In August, I got an Aqua CD from a thrift store. Best two bucks ever spent on music.

Daylight by Matt and Kim, added 2009 09 02, played a TON in early September, and kept creeping onto playlists throughout the rest of the year

Right Angles by The Paper Raincoat, added 2009 09 26, full album added
2009 10 13, played a whole damn lot throughout October, November, and December.

Yeah, note that I put both a song and a full album on there. For complete playability, nothing else this year came close to The Paper Raincoat, for the sole reason that I don't typically listen to albums as a whole, and yet this one grabbed me and shook me and said HELLO, WE ARE GOOD.

E Song by VaCo, added 2009 10 04, played not nearly often enough

Brenton tossed this at me, and it's totally bouncy.

Is That All There Is? by Peggy Lee, added 2009 12 17, played over and over and over again since then.

So. I've mentioned, in brief, either here or on Twitter that I went to see a stage show called "Sleep No More". I'm still working on a post on what precisely started to happen to me during that show¹ but it was cool and twisted and shaky and not really what it's been like when I've come out of any other show.

But at one point in the show, they play this song. And it's beautiful and sad and tragic, and wrapped up entirely with the show. Sure, it's not a lot, but it's *something* I can take with me. I need that sometimes.

---

Apropos of nothing, I have stolen Dmitri's speakers, and plugged them into Vera. Holy dear hell, they are so *very* coming back to Boston with me. It's not that they're particularly better (I dunno, they might be, I don't do sound quality) it's just that I've had all these songs that would like to be played at eleven please, and the only way to actually do that would be to put the headphones in and turn it up WAY TOO LOUD. At least this way the WAYTOOLOUD music isn't blasting *directly* into my ears.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Short answer: I declared Hecatate my Mistress and everything else about the show became wrapped up in Worshipping her, and yes, with the stupid bullshit capital letters that irritate me so much

1532:
Managed to cull the hats into the things I actually regularly wear. Even though it breaks my heart to do such a thing, since I do love my hats, quite dearly. Also, I really need to start doing the mom thing more often, and wearing a backwards ball cap --I have two perfectly good ones. (Would have three if I hadn't lost my Sweeney Todd one like an idiot)

At any rate, that's one of the two really hard clothing things done. Next up...shoes, and those don't squish *nearly* as well.

1619:
NO I DID NOT GET DISTRACTED BY ALYS PLAYING EVERQUEST WHATEVER MADE YOU THINK THAT HAHA

1651:
So, a little bit of exploration re: that bacardi commercial I posted has led me to discover the fun that is Matt and Kim. I'm still sitting at three songs --the ones they've got official music videos-- but I like what I hear. Getting my hands on their album is a must; I keep putting on Daylight to clean to, and dancing around like an idiot instead. It's *very* fun.

Also, I mean, they strip down. In the middle of Times Square. In winter. For a Music Video.

What can I say, I'm a little bit of a sucker for girls who don't shave their armpits. Unshaven legs I can take or leave, but please leave the hair under the arms, it is totally lovely.

((yes, I am a little bit of a freak sometimes))

1700
Also, it bugs me when people whine about musicians selling out. If Matt and Kim hadn't sold out by having their music in that commercial, they would have one less fan who enjoys their stuff and would be willing to go see them play live, if they came anywhere near Boston. (Though I am looking for excuses to go to New York...)

Plus, selling out = enough money to eat and make more music that you'll enjoy. Or whine about. Whichever.

(I am not actually a music fan, just a person who listens to music sometimes and likes it.)

1701
RIGHT WORKING RIGHT!

1719
Notetoself: Don't read YouTube comments. duh.

1724
I have a lot of zip ties, and am not really sure why this is. Also, I'm rapidly approaching the point where I need an actual tool bag for myself, fucking *glee!* even if I lost my totally awesome knife damnit damnit

1736
Seriously, making a cohesive list of everything left I had to pack was a really quite clever idea. Well done, Miss Kyress¹. NOW DO THE THINGS ON THE LIST!

1738
Notetoself, do a Sorky² vocab sheet sometime. Need to have on it: Pumpkin Time, some names of mine, Milk Crates, ponies and monkeys, other things I say a lot, fwen. Similar to my acronyms cheat sheet.

1755
RIGHT THAT WAS AN INTERESTING YET POINTLESS DIVERSION. Back to the accounts.

1805
I do not know what is up with my left hand these days. It just insists on baubles --doesn't feel right without three rings and some bracelets, or something equally warped. WHY DO YOU SO WANT FRIVOLS, SELF?

1816
Also, judging by dad's tentative plans, I have less than forty-eight hours left in Maryland. BOOYAH!

1817
Things I need to do during the daylight hours tomorrow: Return Larry's sound equipment, go to the post office and send presents to people. NTS: Make sure I have addresses. Also, bank. Also, at some point I need to order my birthday present for myself.

1822
Hmm, wonder if the package center is hiring. It would certainly ensure that I actually get all my mail when it comes, and not, oh, in mid summer for packages sent in march. *rars at Lesley*.

((Those cookies were still delicious though!))

1840
The beginning of "Board of Governors" from Jekyll and Hyde always sounds a bit like the music from The Weakest Link to me. More cracktastic artists than myself (or at least, more familiar with the J&H secondary characters) would be drawing this. "Henry Jekyll, you are....THE WEAKEST LINK. GOODBYE!"

...Hyde would like it to be know that he doesn't approve.

1843:
..........ohmygods, Henry Jekyll/Herbert West. They can try to out 'scientist' each other. It'll be all delightfully sociopathic and WONDERFUL. Both of them are all like "It's for a good cau-AUG MY LIFE IS BEING RUINED SHIT SHIT!"

Yes, I know there's only like one person out there who'll appreciate this, but whatever. THAT'S REASON ENOUGH TO POST IT!

1848:
......does that make Hyde Dan? Because...no. Not at all. I'd say maybe Hyde corresponds to West, but Hyde's a lot less concerned with results. Arg and damnation.

1907
HA! I SAY HA! TAKE THAT SHOES! YOU ARE NO MORE A PROBLEM!!!

((That's how I know I'm a chick. Seriously, I have way too many shoes to ever be a boy.))

1927
It's always nice when this project looks doable, instead of "oh god oh god"

2004
Iiiii don't want to do the rest of this. Like, at all. Someone come pack for me?

2012
Still left to sort through/deal with: Notebooks?, Blank papers, Presents, Writing stuff, Wearable clothes, Laundry, Props box, Electronics, Business Cards, Pocket Stuff, Desk

Still left to pack: Photos, Weaponry, Jewelry stuff, Jewelry, Buttons, Love letters, Food, Top of Dresser, Legos?

ARGSAUCE!

I should just post this, and have more entertaining bits and pieces later or something.

~Sor
MOOP!

Postscript: Found my diary. Yay!

1: This is totally the Katters' fault, as are many of my names (See: "Sor") The first time I ever heard her pronounce "Sorcyress" she was doing so with a k sound for the c, rather than the s sound I'd been using. It's...a thing that I split names down the middle (also her fault) so I chose to shift the name from Sor Cyress (Pronounced Sigh-ress)to Sor Kyress. (Kai-ress).

2: Pretty much the same as reasons stated above.

I spent the weekend in New York City with thorog and his girl, Rose. Insert appropriate They Might Be Giants song here.

We...basically had a sinfully good time of things. Saturday, we arrived and went to Surreal Estate, which is the house/commune muzikmaker21 and roughly fifty other hippies live in. We got the grand tour, and learned far too many names --I think I picked up that prettyboy is Quin(t?), and I met an adorably charming girl called Meg, an aussie named Hannah, and a different adorably charming girl called Emma, who was totally flattered when I accidentally called her Meg. We also went and got really good pizza from the sustainable pizza place across the street from Surreal Estate, where Nathen works.

Eventually, we wandered off to Times Square, where we stood in an abysmally long TKTS line¹ and spent much time debating what show to try and see². We were this close to going and seeing ROCK OF AGES³, but there was not seats together, so we decided we'd rather sit in the same place, and see Avenue Q.

After TKTS, we hit up Toys R Us, where we acquired a Brenton/gyrik_22⁴, and bunches of candy. We did not acquire a dinosaur, because it wouldn't fit in my purse, or a stick pony, even though I was tempted. Also, LEGO PIRATES ARE HAPPENING AGAIN! Just so you all know.

Dinner wound up being at a bar a couple blocks up from Times Square (Daltons? I think Daltons) which was good food, very nice to Rose and her pepper-allergy, and did not try to card us when we walked in, which would've resulted in me being kicked out⁵. So they get points! From there to AveQ, which was fairly enjoyable, and pretty much targeted exactly at the four of us --the girl halfway through her undergrad, the girl in the middle of her graduate degree, the boy just out of college and trying to make a living in the big city, and the boy trying to get a doctorate. Musicals written for twenty-somethings are fun!

Wandered for a while in search of ice cream, settled for Jamba Juice at the Port Authority, at least in part because they had bathrooms. Headed back to Surreal Estate, where we learned that drunk hippies really really like delicious oatmeal chocolate chip cookies⁶. Tho and Rose did their own thing for a bit, and I went out on one of the roofs with Nathen and Meg to chill. Oh, and in case I haven't made it clear enough yet, Surreal Estate is very *very* awesome. I may go ahead and take my ten day trial period sometime, were I a New York kind of girl. ((They give you ten days before they figure you've moved in, and should therefore pay rent or teach dancing or give backrubs or something. They are a very chill commune.))

We slept. [I am debating this sentence, someone remind me to ask Tho if I can post it.] Sunday morning we woke up, got dressed, and danced salsa and swing in the common room. Eventually, we managed to wander out for bagels, which were delicious, and thrift storing, which was really quite fun --Nathen managed to find a tie that said "viagra" on it repeatedly, and I got a gorgeous summery dress --doubly good, since it was a billion degrees out, and I had previously been wearing black jeans.

We left Surreal Estate and headed to The Strand, where we again met up with Brenton. I'm not entirely sure what happened between 1:30 and 4, but I think it involved a lot of books, and possibly Forbidden Planet. From there, we walked many many blocks to a tiny little macaroon shop Tho had found out about using the power of the INTERNET! and then a pasta shop for dinner, and a quick look around Macys while waiting for the bus home.

Ended out the trip by sitting on the sidewalk in a light rain, chatting and snuggling. Long, overly hot, ride home with some absolutely smashing conversation, and then to bed, to bed.

...or in my case, to Vera, in order to chat with people and make sure none of you has exploded while I was gone.

And that was my weekend! Origins in three days! Aiee, I've got to pack >.<

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Dear mom, you lied, it's not under the Marriot Marquee anymore. It is in fact, smack in the middle of Times Square
2: NTS: Write "Phantom of Chicago Q...OF AGES!"
3: \m/
4: Okay, yeah, there's a reason I couldn't remember your screenname, Dragon. It is a complicated name, that I'm not totally positive I can pronounce.
5: Not that we ordered any boozahol anyways. But they do sometimes card at the door, and being as I was the only under-21 in the group, it would've been annoying as all hell.
6: Brenton made 'em for us because he's a gentleman or somesuch. They were fekken' delicious, and did not last very long at all.

Scheissentagzunfixen2009 continues to go well --I baleeted 85 percent or so of my tags with only one use, and I have ten months (out of 65) all tagged up. Yayy or something.

***

I am uncommonly antisocial right now, and have been for a substantial amount of time --at least since Tuesday, possibly since earlier. People = Donotwant.

***

Went to a Vienna Teng concert on Tuesday, which was beautiful and quite needed. Went ahead and bought two of her albums --the brand new one, "Inland Territory", and the second-most-new one, "Dreaming Through the Noise". (Her first two albums I own by..um...magic. Yeah. Magic¹. >.>)

"In Another Life" and "Stray Italian Greyhound", both off Inland, were played during the concert and are *fabulous*. I've had "In Another Life" or "Whatever You Want" (Off Dreaming) stuck in my head pretty much all week. It's nice.

And a further essay concerning Vienna is coming, I just need to type it. Additionally, I may write an essay or something about objectification of artists.

***

Tonight, as a present for Maddiecakes birthday, the two of us wandered over to Harvard to listen to Joss Whedon talk, after recieving the highly esteemed and prestigious Lifetime Achievement Award in Cultural Humanism. It was actually a pretty well put together speech, and definitely raised my largely indifferent² opinion of Joss several notches.

Afterwards, there was signing, so I have a signed Dr. Horrible DVD. Alas, no personalization, due to the sheer volume of people, but still. Joss's autograph. And yes, mom, I told him you said thanks for putting you in the special features.

***

I have been writing like an absolute *fiend* lately. I know that I have a short story, the aforementioned Vienna essay, and most of the third part of my deep stuff night scrawled down, and I may very well have more that I'm forgetting about. One of these days, I really need to learn how to type. :P

***

By the way, in case I've forgotten to squee, in the past month or so, both Iowa and Vermont have made it okay for the gayfolk to marry each other. That makes FOUR STATES that my little sister can get married in. I am so happy about this.

***

Conor and I played about four rounds of Chrononauts the other night, and determined that we want to play/write/whatever a Time Travel rpg. I'm guessing GURPS might be the most valuable resource, but you lot are smart people. Suggestions?

***

I think that's it for now. I'm gonna go sleep.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Part of why there was no question when I got the oppertunity to actually pay money for some of her music. Oh, Vienna! She is very very good, and will get my money as I have it spare.

2: Oh, he's a good writer, no doubt about it. But about the only thing of his that I have raptures over is Dr. Horrible. I...may have a natural reluctance to fawn over the people that every geek ever worships.