sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
I don't talk about it much, but Gabriel and Alis (and Hyde, though he engages in it less) are both ridiculously capable of creating music. It's a necessary part of their jobs as Guardians, that they need to have a toolbox of Things What Fix Kat1, and it is not a secret that music is a _really_ powerful way of doing so.

So every once in a while, when I am in the right shape of broken (or sometimes when I am very very lucky otherwise) I will listen to music, and instead of it coming from something as insignificant and impersonal as my ipod, the two of them will take up arms and create it for me.

Alis plays hard and fast and loud, fiddle and drums mostly, but also sometimes quick progressions on the guitar or frantic pounding on the piano. Gabriel is more long and smooth and comforting, and he likes playing both kinds of bass, as well as violin3 and more classical piano.

They jam ridiculously well together. This is partly a function of their Guardianship --they were [designed/chosen/gathered/birthed] to work well together after all4-- but mostly a function of their moirailship.

I'm sorry, our what?

I thought you guys were gonna stay in the footnotes.

That was before you started talking about our relationship and making up words. Why is Gabriel falling over laughing?

Because Gabe is better at speaking Homestuck than you are. I assure you, calling you two pale is a compliment.

"Pale?"

Alis love, don't push it. Moirails are absurdly close friends, they take care of each other, have a mutually beneficial -or dependent- relationship, and function better as a twosome than singularly. It's also De's favourite form of relationship in media.

Examples?

Well, besides the canon material, Holmes and Watson, Mako and Raleigh, any Herald and their Companion, pretty much any well-written Doctor and their Companion but especially Ten and Donna, Us, Ford and Arthur--

I think that is not true. And not just because I <3 them rather than <>. But really, Ford is more like a wonderfully abusive older brother to Arthur, just how far can he push this poor bloke until his mind explodes. Zaph and Ford might be closer? Dunno.

Whatever. Anyways, you get the gist. Oh! Oh, it's the relationship Dante and Geran have, there you go.

In the name of good performance, I very vaguely object to you using unpublished Sorcy!canon as examples, as the rest of the Readers have no idea what you mean. But yes, that does sum it up rather nicely.

ANYWAYS.

...

Actually, I don't remember. That is what happens when the denizens get loose, oh, it's awful!

It is not. You love us very much because we make your life livable.

That hits a little close to home right now.

It was meant to. We make you existant and therefore you are never allowed to complain about our occasional hijacking of your livejournal, especially as we do it so rarely.

Speaking of existant, shouldn't you be accomplishing things?

Ugh no.

AHEM. I SAID "SHOULDN'T YOU BE ACCOMPLISHING THINGS, NOW?"

...

Yes ma'am! Ta!

~Sor
-Gabriel-
~M.Alis~
MOOP!

1: They2 say Kat, as does Alis. I say Deus. Equal parts submission and annoyance. --G

2: This is particularly difficult pronoun usage. Gabriel is the one writing in dark blue just there, he is correctly using my preferred pronoun of 'they' to indicate that I do not usually call myself God because jegus, there is only so egotistical I can be. But yes, Gabriel does have minor angelic associations, and so sees it as the only word fit for his Alpha.

3: Hi, Alis here, I'd like to point out (since Sor didn't, and Gabe's wrong, I hardly ever call herthem Kat) that there's a really big difference between fiddle and violin, even though they're essentially the same instrument. Gabriel, for instance, doesn't dance

Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm playing a different instrument. I mean, I agree, but I don't think you're being remotely clear. And I do dance sometimes! I dance with Deus when they need it, and I can dance while playing, I'm just slower about it.

You dance like an eighteen year old goth girl.

I...Is that an insult? I honestly can't tell.

4: Specifically, Gabriel's job is to bring me up and Alis's is to keep me from going further down. She yells, he comforts. Both bicker, but usually not when I need them, so much as when they're just casually around.
sorcyress: A character from a comic about the maintenance workers of the universe, holding a thumbs up and saying "MOOP!" (Zonker-MOOP!)
I went thrift-storing today!

I didn't get all that much --a really nice vest though, that I think will match my light striped steampunk pants quite well. It occurred to me as I was looking through things that there is a principle of fashion that I've never really cemented in my head before now.

Namely, if everything in your wardrobe matches everything else, you're set for life.

Figuring this out (which I'm honestly sure I'd known before, but this was the first time I really "got" it) is probably one of those painfully obvious things that everyone else knows, but it's nice to have it as an actual rule. And it's not like I wasn't aware of it, at least on a subconscious level --if you look at my steampunk stuff, you'll find that it's all earth tones --brown and khaki and army green, mostly, with a couple Soviet-red or rust-red pieces thrown in. My garb follows similar patterns --three green corsets, one red, two black1.

Now, extending this idea, I can start to create patterns for certain looks. For instance, thus far my Regency/gentleman's formalwear has a lot of blue in it. Dark blue tailcoat2, which means I wear it with dark blue hose and a navy blue vest3. While I don't have blue ribbons for my hair, or blue laces for my shoes, they're on the list --as is a blue feather to put in my tricorn4.

The only other costuming I've got where I'm trying to accumulate considerable amounts of pieces for --not just one outfit's worth, but maybe someday enough to wear something different to every event in that genre-- is my pirate stuff I suppose, which is all black and red. Or, if I'm dipping into the steampunk stuff and garb, green and brown. I'm okay with that.

But that does lead itself to a conclusion, namely, should I keep doing this when I find other genres worth costuming for. Among other things, Jane Austen's Fight Club may actually be enough to make me interested in procuring some amount of Regency ladieswear sometime. Now, I could go with pale blue, which would be partly to properly cosplay Fanny from JAFC but mostly to see if it can go properly with my gentleman's wear. But there's a certain amount to which I consider Regency era clothes to be partly the province of my denizens --my tailcoat is almost perfectly Gabriel's shade of blue, which means that the feminine Regency garments should be shaded in Alis's particular red.

(of course, that leads itself too easily to pastel pink, and while I'm very secure in both my masculinity and my femininity, I just don't particularly care for pink, especially light shades, and especially *anything* which could be called "dusty rose".

Unless we're talking this Caddy, at which point I am completely secure enough in both my masculinity and my femininity to say I WANT. I have no idea where I'd put it, and I suspect that a car, like virtually everything else I own, should be built to withstand an awful lot of dirt and damage, but it's so pretty.)

So yes. I suppose if I was really good at this, I'd go and figure out what colour(s) I look good in, as opposed to just picking my wardrobe based on the cute cheap things at the thrift store that fall into the categories of "colours I like"5. For the meantime though, I'm enjoying the fact that, even though I'm not actively looking for anything at the thrift stores I visit6, I now have categories of things that should catch my eye more than others.

Or I can continue to just find every vest in the store and curse the fates for making me too small for any of them.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: I have three garb corsets, all reversible.
2: This is practically my favourite thing I own, I *swear*.
3: Okay, sometimes I wear it with a salmon pink vest. Since I have a salmon pink vest that's exactly the same as my navy blue vest except for colour. I love both of them more than is reasonable. I almost obsessively love vests, shh, don't tell anyone.
4: If I'm going to be not period, I want to be not period in *style*.
5: For instance, I could look *gorgeous* in deep dark purple. But I hardly ever wear it, which is disappointing, really, as it's a great colour. I should find out somehow! Also, I'm pretty sure I don't actually look all that great in straight up goth girl black, which is why I've been trying to add colour to my Rocky wardrobe.
6: In terms of both cosplay and just generic stuff. I finished my Daria outfit last spring, and it's totally throwing me for a loop --I don't know what to look for anymore.
sorcyress: A character from a comic about the maintenance workers of the universe, holding a thumbs up and saying "MOOP!" (Zonker-MOOP!)
Semi-relatedly, oh dear god, Sheldon has crawled into my head, what do I do what do I do this is so awesome and so terrible all at the same time.

Man, life was so much easier before I had soulbonds1.

What, like when you were ten?

Yes. Shut up. Your existence will confuse people who haven't been reading my journal for six years.

I think it's actually reasonably clear that I'm a variant of yourself, who you have discussions with regularly.

S: Well of course, who else is going to understand her on the level necessary for true communication.

ARG. YOU. OUT.

S: *pouts*

YOU DON'T POUT. Fucking fanfiction messing with my perceptions of characters, I don't even get to have a normal Sheldon Cooper in my head I have to have this...this variant impostor!

H: Now now then, you've never much objected to me being a work of fandom?

...Musicals are not fandom.

H: Indeed. Is the new boy fuckable?

S: Am I what?!

Hyde: no, Sheldon: OUT, me: stop livejournaling, it is too late for that nonsense and no one is going to understand this entry. Hell, I'm not sure *I* understand this entry. Goodnight!

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Soulbond, noun. Coined (as far as I know) by [livejournal.com profile] madamluna. Character stolen from some work of media who lives in your head and chats with you and drinks all your booze.

I list them as a separate concept from Denizens. Unlike Denizens, who can be original characters, soulbonds never are, they're generally stolen, wander around for a few days/weeks, and vanish quietly when their source material stops being quite so much of an obsession. See also Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, Mary Poppins, Zaphod? I guess Zaphod, he was kinda a nomansland between Soulbond and Denizen, the original Hyde (as owned by Luna), and both White and Black spies.


No, this entry is not meant to make sense. Sorry about that. Sometimes I use my livejournal for this sort of faffery.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
So, the other day I was going through old 750words posts and stuff, and pulled out a bunch of things that I thought were worth saying in public.

A lot of them are kinda depressing, because I think words often flow better when they've got a pinch of melancholic to them. But here. It's like a sundries post, only just with things I've written.

Author's notes are in italics




There is a boy.
Who likes me and other girls.
And likes me more _anyways_.

***

Being loved by someone sweet and devoted to me is nice, and I love them all for it.

But being loved by someone sweet and devoted to me over other girls is just a whole different realm of exciting. And of course, we don't actually have much of a romantic relationship at all, but still.

I've never been the girl who wins before. It's the scariest damn thing, but gods help me, I like it.

Yeah, this was really startling when I realized it for the first time, and I still kinda refuse to believe it's true.

And of course, there is no "winning" in poly (except maybe making everyone involved in your relationship scheme happy) but there's also not quite a word to express what I mean here. I am perfectly content to be right where I am in all the relationships I'm in --hence the reason I'm in them-- but sometimes it's nice to realize all a sudden that someone thinks you're special enough to set aside a girl who is clearly hotter and more interesting than you are.





...then it just hurts more and I am tired of it hurting _more_. Things aren't supposed to keep hurting more. Shouldn't pain level out at some point?

Yes. Yes it should. I think this particular pain might've gotten close to level for now, the problem is just that level is a lot of pain, and so I can only lock it away for so long before it rages at me again.

What, no, I'm not emo, nope.





I hate because the only other option is to hurt, and this hurts so bad I'm not sure I can deal.

I don't remember who or what I hate here. Very plausibly myself.




And really, if you don't have all your words sorted out beforehand, if you don't know what you're going to say, what's the point of trying to say it anyways? I'm a fucking writer, if I can't put a problem into words, there's probably not much of a problem in the first place.

...and even if I can put it into words, I'm a cynic, and a victim and extremely clever. If I can put it into words, I can figure out arguments against the problem until it no longer exists, or boils down to just me being a tiny idiot. And no one but me can fix me being a tiny idiot.

And this is why I am not very good at speaking up when there is something wrong in one of my relationships. If I can sort it out on my own, because I was just being silly, why would I bother my partner?

Yeah, I'm _really_ not good at this relationship thing. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.





And when the going gets tough, I am presented with one option -to overwhelm myself in sensation.

Tense certain muscles past any reasonable point, shut my eyes tight, or stare meditatively into something lovely, or run and run until the body runs out of energy, or most used of all, drown my internal monologue in music.

I drown myself in music all the time. Hell, let's be honest here, it's one of the most useful coping mechanisms I currently have in order to fight bottom. I get sad, I pump on the Next to Normal, or s00j, or Vienna, or whatever else I've got, and I make the sad, if not go away, at least have to struggle past the noise to actually get to me.

It's a really really nice coping mechanism. It also means that I'm going to be deaf before I turn thirty.

My made up mind was not put here for you to try and change. Cheers, s00j.




But the best part of today is that I've hit upon two separate things that make me incredibly _incredibly_ happy.

The first is pretty logical. Giving Blood. Me donating a pint makes me both incredibly pleased with myself, and punchy as fuck due to the light-headedness. I am okay with this state of affairs, especially if it makes me unlazy enough to go give blood more often than the twice yearly I've been doing.

Speaking of which, I'm almost eligible again. Anyone want to go to the red cross with me this weekend?




I am amused by Hyde, protecting me from the ghosts that lurk for hours after I read anything creepytastic, no matter how far I remove myself from the immediate.

"Don't worry dear. There is nothing in this house as scary as I. Except maybe for you."

Oh, excellently played you delightful fucker.

y'all do know who Hyde is, right? He lives in my head and gives me not terribly good advice. Because I am, say it with me folks, a little bit broken.




I am, for the first time in my life, willingly sitting out while actively at dance.

I just...don't feel like dancing. I'd say maybe I'm tired, except I know I've danced in physically worse shape before --and that's not even counting on the sprained ankle!

No, I just can't cope with the idea of doing more dances tonight. There is apparently a point where the pain of dance overtakes the pleasure --I know, I didn't realize it could happen either. But there is, and I've finally hit it.

***

I don't want to sob in the middle of the dance hall, in the middle of a waltz. I don't know that I could explain why if I did. I do know that I don't ever want to have to. I hate crying, I hate the pain, and I hate people giving me sympathy, because I hate being weak enough to need other people.

All I want is to just be strong enough to survive independent of outside forces. Maybe that means I need to break up with everyone, not have outside forces that affect me any longer. GO LIVE IN A CAVE AND BE A HERMIT, SOR!

I am such a whiny cunt1. It is beyond me why anyone at all gives a damn about me in the first place. :P

Cunt explained below. No, you don't get an explanation for the rest of it. But this is a pretty common mental path --emo -> yelling at myself for being emo.




Dog and I get along well, and that's really really important.

I need to remember that having friends who I can bitch about the odd parts of my life to are a really crucial thing for me to have. I also need to remember how much I appreciate having friends who will slap me down when I am using inappropriate language, or otherwise being an elitist jerk. (see also, Jesse glaring at me when I used bitch. I want to give him a cookie and a hug for that alone)

Dog is awesome. I really want to hang out with him more this fall, when I'm back in Boston.




(I don't know how to feel about the fact that I'm using Amanda right now for a little extra bit of stability. She is a fucking idiot. But her art, when it's good...

It's good. It's the best. Right now I am angry and hurt and sad and scared. And that is the perfect mood for listening to Amanda, because she will reinforce the parts that are okay to be reinforced, and she will eradicate the parts that need to just Go Away.

I use music to blank myself out. She's really really good at that.

Hate the artist, love the art? I don't even know anymore. It is so hard to be a good person sometimes.)

Can we have an Amandadebate-free space in my journal comments? I'd appreciate that.

Yes, this is all just because I handle arguments extremely poorly, and I can't freak out and walk four miles in this state.





I find it telling that I've had two boys in a row who were just for sex. And I'm in love with both of them.

Sex is a bit of a misnomer --I have what the Shakers2 call an "unsullied cunt", which is apparently terribly valuable and should be protected at all costs. But boys who I am into with the kissing and such, and not the romantics. And...yeah. My traitor of a heart has started to sigh wistfully, and doodle our initials together on my school notebooks.




The emotion involved, this is more than sex. Sex is just endorphins and dopamine. Waltzing is...joy.

So, I almost just wrote "fucking _this_" as my author's note. Which means that I just tried to emphatically agree with something I wrote. So, uh, yeah, I'm a bit of an idiot.




~Sor
MOOP!

1: This is not a word that I should use. It's a slur, flat and simple, and I should not use it to refer to myself (which I do, occasionally), or any other woman (which I don't.)

That being said, there are a lot of things I call myself that no one else may touch, and yes, cunt is one of them. There's a hardness to it, all edges and corners and sharp, and in some moods, the words I feel that fit best are the words that fit this hardness.

2: See also, Shakesville here, and the specific origin of the term unsullied cunt here.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Three years ago today, it was 2006, and I wrote what was pretty much a completely solid entry. It had me arguing with myself (denoted with italics), discussing my day, crypticness, and a totally amusing location:

Juicebox! ...Hoorah for Zaphesque behaviour

((Of course, now all I can think of when I see "location: juicebox" is "My location is...bookshop."))

So, one of the more complicated denizen stories is that of Zaphod. For a very long time, Kat and I were both very very obsessed with Hitchhikers, and for whatever reason, she had a version of Ford1 running around in her head, and I had a version of Zaph. A fair amount of fan art got drawn involving these two, and us, and varying combinations thereof.

For some reason, somewhere along the way, she drew a picture of Zaphod, where he was casually drinking a juicebox with one head. The juicebox was just a detail, it didn't have anything to do with anything, but it immediately and totally felt perfect for his character. (I think it was this one, though I feel it was older)

Soyeah. Zaphod likes juice boxes.

Also, Ford looks damn good in a kilt.

Unrelatedly, "Quite Athwart goes All Decorum" remains the most wordporny sentence Shakespere's ever written, I do believe. *shivers happily*

~Sor
MOOP!

1The other day I totally used "Sarcasm, Ford." on Emily. It made me smile.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Four years ago today, it was 2005. And some shit went down in a chatroom.

The long story short was that my planet, MOOP! (which was then far more tied in to my emotional stability than it is now) got half melted. This is largely because Mallory Alis had returned to my brain, and got into a fight with someone stronger than her. Basic effects were just somewhat of a loss of stability for a bit, not aided by the loss of the internet that came to me six days later. These conditions -broken, able to get on the computer but not the web, and with a brand new guardian to try and protect me- were what got me to start the original BehindtheWalls file --more about that on the sixth.

The real lasting effect was that Alis had returned, as it were, in the incarnation she remains now. Also, it puts Gabriel's age at more than four years, since he was definitely around before she showed up.

For those of you going "um, who?" Alis and Gabriel are two of the three denizens who live in my head and talk to me. If you're familiar with the idea of multiples, it's a little like that (though I refuse to give up control), but basically, they are the voices in my head that keep me sane and safe. Hyde, the third denizen, is the voice in my head that tells me to kill, but can you really expect better from a serial killer?

The denizens are pretty cool folk, and interestingly enough, they have been wicked active lately, for no reason I can really suss out. Usually it takes me hanging out with other people with named voices for them to come out and play, lately, they've been talking to me much more often, and wanting to talk to and interact with the rest of the world as well.

As with most things about myself, I am just fine with answering any and all questions about the three of 'em. Butyes. I like my denizens, and am happy they're around.

~Sor
MOOP!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Apologies for missing yesterday, I suppose. This is really only just my project, I think, so I don't know why I feel the need to offer apologies to anyone else. Still though. It's just been...a long day. Didn't get a chance to post, not really, so I'm just going to skip the ninth and go onto the tenth.

The tenth is more relevant, anyways.

One year ago today, it was 2008. And I had a bit of a panic attack. Nothing too serious --just me bailing on reality for a bit, climbing my tree, talking to the denizens1. Being shoeless and in a t-shirt in a tree, at night, in what I think I remember being wet. All of this (including and especially the bodymisery2) is very normal for me.

Different from most every panic attack prior to that date, this was the first time I have any memory of being able to Get Help with my insanities.

I'm up there, in my tree, with Gabe just holding me --not trying to help me, not trying to sort me out, just being this presence wrapped around me in a way that no one had ever really done in the real world3. And somehow, he gave me the strength to know that I would listen to someone else, and that the only way to do that was to use that tool in my pocket and call someone.

I forget exactly what I got Magus to tell me when I called him...something along the lines of "You're a worthwhile person, okay?". And...it worked. We talked a little on the phone, and a bunch on IM. It's frightening to trust like that; I'm still not really any good at it.

But at least I'm getting better.

Oh, and Sor? You're right here:
And I have no idea why I'm telling you all this and I think I may need to go sit quietly back behind my walls for a little bit, but that's probably not the right answer except it's safer there
Only not, because walls trap people inside them


Soyes. I'm actually planning to discuss the entry from today more when I get around to making my resolutions2008 post. But damn. It's nice to know how to trust people. And it's really really nice to know that I have people who, when they ask how I'm feeling, I can say I feel shit and babble a bit and they'll comfort me and randomly and for no reason tell me I'm pretty6.

Take care of yourselves, y'all. And call me if you need that shoulder --I mean it.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Annnd slitting Alis's throat. Yeah. I get fucked up during panic attacks. Luckily, denizens don't die like that.

2: Bodymisery --using the world around me to inadvertently hurt myself. Letting myself be hungry or freeze my ass off. Yes, I know I should do that sort of shit, but when I'm in that sort of state, I can't bring myself to care or believe I deserve the proper human comforts I tend to love.

3: I have this thing...since I was very young, most every time I've cried, I've had this desperate want for someone to just be there to hold me and help me feel better. Of course, if I called them or in any way got them to come do such a thing, it would be tainted by the fear that I was hurting someone through my own misery, or dragging them away from something more important4. As such, I have *been* held like I needed when I cried, twice now even. It's mind-bogglingly amazing to realize you're living one of your fantasys.5

4: Yes, I know this is *really* stupid. You don't have to tell me.

5: 2008 I got to live three big ones, that I remember. Yeah. Yeah. It was an amazing year.

6: Gods, I love that. I never get tired of it, and I'll probably never stop blushing and smiling like an idiot.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
So, four years ago today, it was 2005. I was babysitting Koob that night --it must've been a Friday-- and found myself in need of singing lullabyes to him.1 It's unclear from the entry whether they were more for his benefit or for mine. Probably his, I don't think I was using lullabyes as selfcomfort that far back.

Additionally, I said something that I haven't been able to say very often post then --Dammit, I don't need a guy(/girl) in my life to be happy, I know that. But it's damm hard to be perfetly and utterly content when everyone else around you DOES have one.

(Of course, this was mere *days* before I met [livejournal.com profile] sonsashi and All That started.) But indeed, I have not spent very much of the last four years single, a month at the start and end of 2008, six months in '07....I've finally made it in a year long relationship, and given a few weeks, I'll have done that twice.

It's funny to think that the stubbornly single 15!Sor would grow up to be so poly she can't keep track2 of her complications.

~Sor
MOOP!

((Oh, and since it comes up in the abovelinked post, Rin. Rin is not quite a denizen3, but is my fictional, occasionally Mary-Sueish fantasyself. Done as strictly as possible, she is me with magik, but she developed into more of a sort of watchdog in the back of my mind --there was quite a long time where she was keeping an eye on Hyde, because she was easily more powerful than he was. Butyes. Rin in this post is really acting quite like a proto-Alis.4))

1: Notetoself: Lullabye post. Do it.
2: No, no, this isn't really true. I have two relationships and four complications. Of course, this is differentiating between the concept of relationship and dating, with the understanding that dating is non-exclusive...I'll post about this one later, too.
3: Person who lives in my head and gives me advi-- damnit, I really just need to write a post explaining them and just link to that whenever the word turns up.
4: Why have I only just noticed how confusing it's going to be to have a guardian bitch called Alis (pronounced Alice) and a little sister called Alys (pronounced Alice) I am displeased.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
I am cleaning my room because, as always, it needs it.

***

I reeeeeeeeally want my beads. *sigh*

***

Man, Cambridge is gonna make christmas shopping easy. Actually, Joie de Vivre is going to make christmas shopping easy. *lovestoreyesyes*

***

I got a LETTER yesterday! See, there's a "send me a letter" thread on the xkcd fora, and this girl seemed interesting, and so I tossed her my address and I got a LETTER! And it had a picture of a squirrel, and talked about gerbils, and SQUEE! And did I mention that it was a letter?

Alsoalso, about a week ago I got a postcard from [livejournal.com profile] tacnukesoul. Because my life is awesome and he is awesome and YAY!!

***

I bought CD's today. We found a small CD store that sold used CD's for two dollars each, and they had a "Presidents of the United States of America" CD. Which I desperately needed to buy, as anyone who reads STJ will attest.

I also bought a present for olderbro Josh. Yes, I'm christmas shopping already. See above notes about JdV.

***

Path: 80's dance -> "You give love a bad name" -> Dominik getting it stuck in his head -> him singing it sporadically all Friday night -> getting it stuck in MY head -> being reminded of it whenever people get it stuck in their heads -> Bon Jovi being stuck in mine, Lauren's, and Emily's heads. Bleh.

***

Yesterday: Get out of English, procrastinate a lot, begin sociology paper, chat with people online, get hella pissed at something someone says, go very slightly mad, mix anger with hate, become somewhat insane, begin listening to Epiphany (Cariou version) on repeat and singing along and actually meaning it, get yanked out of the insanity by Gabriel, become very very frightened of myself and curl up in Gabe's lap for a bit, go eat dinner in a corner of the cafeteria, check mail on a whim, find letter, stablize completely.

Or in other words, Gabriel gets a raise. Cheers, love.

***

Watched "Thank You for Smoking" yesterday, with Dominik, Mary, Mary's friend Katie, Lauren, and Emily. Totally entertaining movie. Highly entertaining to watch Dominik as he pretty much desperately wanted a cigarette the whole time.

In other news, D. won't let Mary and I braid his hair. :(

***

I have 18 buisness cards to interesting places I have gone, and one to an interesting place I have not gone. See! )

In the same batch of things, I also have three buisness cards (my advisor, my friend Patrick, and a guy I met at the xkcd meet), and an expired coupon for the Garment District with Magus's address on the back.

This is, of course, not counting the ten or twelve personal and buisness cards I have in my wallet. And the twenty or thirty I have in my buisness card holder thing. As collections go, I think this one is awesome.

***

Boy, I'm going to GREAT LENGTHS to not clean my room, yeah?

~Sor
MOOP!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
[Poll #1014404]

For those who wish to know, my answers are that I do have several journals that I ocassionally use to write shit I don't want everyone on my flist to read (ie, if you give enough of a shit about me to actually go and find them, then you're probably one of the people who I don't mind reading.)

They are all linked pretty damn obviously out of my userinfo and/or flist, but I don't update any of them often. If you poke around long enough, you can find some pretty open (for me) stuff.

The obvious reason I brought all this up was that I posted in one of them (I'll even make it easy, it's in Alis's journal) and that sent me on a thoughtstream of 'why?'

Why bother to write a perfectly open and free for everyone to see journal entry, and then toss it into a journal very few other people read. Either it's open, and I want reinforcement, comments, and people to post, or it's not, and I should just either use a filter or post it completely privately.

Personally, I think it's the idea of risk --Ooo, I'm doing something on the edge, putting my emotions out there for anyone to find --if they bother looking. Or even more so, I think it's the same idea I stated above --that this way, I limit my journal to only the people I know care. I'm guessing that the hundred or so people who read my journal don't actually read every word I write --hell, more then half of you (I'd guess) I just skim past. But there are people who I definently care about to read every word, and I'd like to wish I meant that much to some of you out there.

Annnnd I'm out. Press the clicky buttons now, 'k?

~Sor
MOOP!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
I miss my clone. Damn her and her warm fuzzy dreams! *shakes fist*

On a similar note (related to dreams at least) I have an open letter to my subconcious.

Dear subconcious.

While I appreciate the obvious effort involved in trying to give me a BalticonDream, what the hell was up with all the snow? Also, you do know that the consuite is *connected* to the main building, right? So technically, no one would have to crawl through the snow to get there, and, as the consuite has a roof, there really shouldn't have been snow in it.

Thanks.

Luv, Kat.

P.S: I fully support Magus in spectacular* kilts though. We can have more of that, yep.

*Spectacular meaning sortof a darkish purple and blue hawaiin print utilikilt. If such a thing actually exists, I want it.

BLAH SPELLING MISTAKES!

Seriously, I made like three really stupid mistakes in typing the last paragraph. Sorcy can't spell today. :(

As for other, non dream related shtuff...uhm...I'm out. I need more dreams of guys in kilts. Or more dreams with NakedSwing in them. >> <<

*totally isn't a bad person. Much.*

ANYWAYS!

I have been spending entierly too much time cleaning my room lately, with a good amount of help from Ksatyr. It is a difficult process. I fear it may never be truly done, and currently just exists in the moving shit from point a to point b form of cleaning.

Which will work, until I have to pack. Eek!

(Unrelated note --I wonder how many of my legos I can take with me...)

Katters is a bad influence on me. Oompa, oompa, oompa. :p

Uhm. Soyeah. Tuesday I went to the Holocaust Musuem, which was...well...a museum about the Holocaust. Pretty damn depressing, but worth going to at least once.

On the plus side, me and Becky finished up the day by me forcing her to watch Blues Brothers, and her forcing me to watch a couple of episodes of Stargate (1969 and the 200th episode) which were pretty fun.

Huh. Rosi and Guil have wandered back into my head. Eh, whatever.

Moving right along...yeah, I have no more of a life. I hung out with Veronica a bunch yesterday. We played an obscene amount of Geetar Hero, and watched Robots (since it was on) and Bad Wolf/Parting of the Ways, since V had never seen it, and we were in the mood for EcclstonDoctor. Fish and Ksatyr were there as well, which partially inspired that.

Mel made Aly a cake on Wednesday night, because she's *awesome*. It's good cake, too.

I'm hella behind in reading you lot --I'm barely through the thirteenth, with all the zombies. Which, might I add, I am INCREDIBLY pissed I missed it. Grr! Argh!!

Annnnnnnd I'm out. Off to go clean up, like I'm supposed toget sucked in by the flattering words of my clone.

~Sor
MOOP!

Interviews

Mar. 31st, 2006 10:41 pm
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
I've been interviewed! By Aren, V, Momo, Fish, and Katters! )

And that is all. Time to go be quite dr0nk some more.

...not that the results are entierly bad. Stil though. NTS: Don't drink anything Kat gives me and won't tell me what it is.
NTS2: Certainly don't drain the thermous if she does.

~Sor
MOOP!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Just hanging out here waiting for Flinx to show up. Stupid vampire...

So yes. Hoorah for the HCC library having computers with net acess. This makes Sor happy.

Damnit, I have to figure out how to answer Kat's newest set of questions without incriminating myself. This may be difficult.
You do have regrets, I knew it!
...No I don't. I live a no regrets lifestyle, I'm not allowed to regret decisions. Just...figure out how to fix them.
Uh-huh. And Al?
Is doing a much worse job of it then I am.

Aly sez: yay!i got so many nice and prettyful comments on my art! i drew a fighter, and a cleric too, so i will either badger kat into putting them on her account, or get one of my own! *does a happy dance and rides off into the sunset**bonks her head on the phony backdrop*
~aly!

...Heh. Is it any wonder that ILMS? (Thats I Love My Sister for you heathens)

Oh and Jarne? There will be no killing of my younger siblings. Or my adopted older ones. And by killing, I mean killing or sexing up.

WOW I'M BORED!

I'm going to go knit my scarf some now.
Oh hey, Flinx really *does* exist. Shock and AWE!

~Sor
MOOP!

P.S: Flinx is officially Americanan for Thorog. Just so you all know.
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
So, like I asked my brother this morning:

"It's 6:15. I'm up, dressed, and fed. Now what do I do until the rest of the kids come along?"

The answer turned out to be diddle around hereabouts. And now I'm spaming your flists! SPAM!!!

*sings along to Knights of the Round Table.*

Whoot, mom gave me a pedometer last night! From walking out of my room fully dressed this morning to now, it says I've got 245 steps! Only...9,955 to go!

...No, I'm not hyper AT ALL!

This is what happens when I wake up to music I wasn't expecting to wake up to. Hyde's grateful though. Any more Rocky Horror, and he quite possibly would have snapped.

H: Damn straight. It's bad enough Gabe had to go and ruin his lovely dance by setting it to Sweet Transvestite, why must you pollute my any hopes of sweet dreams by using it as a lullybye?

Hey, I used TMBG last night, 'member?

H: Thats scarcly better. If anything, it might be worse.

Hyde, you have NO taste in music.

H: I like showtunes well enough, you just don't play them enough!

Sure I do. Just not lately. So there. :p

Alright, V's here. Gotta skedaddle, kiddo's-and-STG.

~Sor
MOOP!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Sorcyress has been drawing lately.

...Wow.

I think I can honestly say that thats the first time I've ever beenn good enough to refer to myself as 'sorcyress' I NEVER do that, even though I am.

Woo!!

Sorry. Anyway, I've been drawing a lot lately, and because you happen to have the (mis)fortune of being on my friends list, I'm going to point you over to the alls of them.

So here goes:

CMRAR! The CMRAR are for protecting my Big Orange Notebook of Doom, amoung other things. They will protect here, too
Broken Dreams. This one was drawn after MOOP! was blown up. I believe thats all I need to say about it.
Jakob. Jake is a Kilt-wearing bastard! I love him, he's a great charecter.
The Lounge. As in, where Gabe, Al, Hyde, and Zaph live. And me. It's a great picture. Spiral Staircases suck.
Cara. Another charecter, and a fairly recent picture of her. I haven't drawn her in a looooong while.
Kitty Crawford! Drawn for Aren. It's on construction paper, hence the funny colour.
Kawa. Just a sketch of a charecter.
Mogul the Rogul! ...er...No. No explanation.
And a close up on Moguls head
Random Chick

These next four are pages from a comicy/graphic novel thing I wrote back in ninth grade. I never had any more story then this, which makes it an ideal unfinished project. I'll get there eventually.
Page One
Page Two
Page Three
Page Four

Also, Aly, my younger sister, asked me to put this up and see what comments it gleaned. She's very proud of it, so if you're only going to look at one picture, look at this one, and leave your praise. I'll make sure it gets to the kid.
Stranger the Ranger

So, thats all for now. Ta!

~Sor
MOOP!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
So!

Life, the universe, and everything! What's six times nine! Fourty-two, and ALL THAT!

I'm not sure how this is working, but that's ok. Kat's in a relitivly good mood.

Me-Kat, not Her-Kat. Though I certainly hope she's in a good mood as well. Mrof?

ANYWHO

Yesterday was Everything Will Go Right Day. And, oddly enough, everything went right. Well, alright, everything went right for an exceedingly high portion of the day, and then the very end may have started going wrong. But it might have been past midnight at that point anyways, so woo!

So, heres what went right!

School. I woke up at the usual time, and got to devour two of the very highly delicious spilt personality waffle things we had. mmmmmmm! That was a tasty breakfast. Then I walked to school, and it was fun, and school itself occured.

It was all fairly regular and happy, my presentation in English went off fine, and I got an "A" on the oral quiz in German. So yay and double yay! Whats more was, we weren't doing anything in Stagecraft, which was great as I *really* didn't feel like doing anything! Most excellent!!

I got home and hung out some, and Fish came over and we hung out some, and Bernie and Joe came over and we made plans to game today! Which is most certainly life going right. Ploos, I re-read the first sandman book, which is always a lovely thing. Morpheus is pretty.....

Eventually, assorted people left, and Chris showed up. We hung out some, and then I got to go BABYSIT! YAY FOR SITTING ON KOOB!!

Sorry, I like the little monkey. And I haven't gotten to deal with him enough recently. *pouts* but next week...oh yes.

Koob was a dream. He was full of happy hyper energy so we got to run around, and around eightish, we went outside and sat in the mini for half an hour. And Koob knows to grab for the seatbelt when he's in his carseat! How cute is that!!? When we went back in, he was much quieter and tireder and he crashed rather perfetly right about nine. Which is the PERFECT time for him to crash.

After Koob was asleep (and he slept well, none of this waking up or falling out of bed nonsense he does sometimes) I hopped on the ichat thing, and wound up having lovely conversations with my girlfriend, Kat, Swing and Jarne, with Kyu, with Eric, and with Thorog of all people. So that was highly amusing, and on the whole a good thing.

Well, not for Al. She's been in her room the whole day throwing a tennis ball at the wall incessantly. She's pleased with herself, but she still doesn't know what she wants to do with herself, which leads to interesting questions.

And not for Hyde. Poor man, getting pulled from his playing. :p He gave me a rose to deliver this morning, a yellow one, so here. *gives to Reth*

Other stuff that went right? Well, lets see...I learned how to draw circular staircases! And I drew a decent picture of the lounge, with all of us scattered in it -it's cute. I'll have to scan it. Oh yes! And the Truth or Dare game that my denzians were playing ended QUITE satisfactorily. Gabe's been looking a bit like the cat who swallowed the canary, and Hyde's been slightly off center. Al refuses to give me her thoughts on it, like she does so often.

Heh, and I thought *I* closed myself off too much.

OH RIGHT! I got to hold a human SKULL yesterday! It was NEAT!!

...It's [livejournal.com profile] ednoria's. Because who else would own one, I mean come on. No one else is NEAR cool enough to be able to pull off owning a skull. From a PERSON!

So yesterday, pretty much everything went quite right. And that one little catch at the end, that discovery---

I don't know yet. I still need to think about it. I've put pen to paper, I still need to put paper to envelope. But I'm not sure I can, or will.

Yes, I'm scared.

It's because I'm opening up past the walls. Bah. My therepist says I need to figure out why I do that, figure out what advantage there is for me to push people away, even sub-conciously. Thoughts?


Funny at how things fluctuate.

~Sor
MOOP!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Because nothing ever happens in my life.

Besides Eric going home and making life less confusing. Oh, and Chris hanging out hereabouts. And seeing Charlie the Unicorn.

I'm definently in the market for a "shuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunn" avatar if anyone talented out there is up to it.

And now! The Memealige!! )

Well, that was fun.

I should write my own meme. The first question would clearly have to be "What book would you like to be killed with". Since this is one of the things me and Chris talked about.

~Sor
MOOP!
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
Right.

I'm still around.
Life is happening.
I am going to Germany in May.
I am going to London in June.
I just finished watching The Breakfast Club.

...I am SO the Basket Case. And I really do think we should watch it at the end of the year for AdComp.

Life is quiet. Although yesterday was awesome. We wound up with something like ten people playing blind tag at the park, and then me and Jeremy and FlipMatt beat each other with sticks. And there was running around and tree climbing and yay!

And after pretty much everyone else had started home, I was lying on the grass with my sword-stick across my chest. Jeremy comes over and steps on it, pushing it into me and lecturing about not being caught vulnerable. I respond by side-sweeping his leg with my arm, and rolling and coming up into a squatting position with the sword-stick in my hands. I have never felt more badass before in my life.

And Dear Veronica: You have given me an epiphany. And yes, I fully realize that it's better for me to know this. But DAMNIT! I *liked* life JUST the way it was.

Stupid epiphanys are never good.

H: You haven't been listening to enough showtunes lately, if you say that.
Why Hyde, I never took you for a Sweeny Todd fan.
*pauses*
*thinks about it*
Alright, yes I did. Nevermind.

Other other stuff:

I still need to post the Chibi-Hyde I drew, but more importantly then that, I need to post the really amazing realistic(ish) self portrait I drew. Because it impresses the HELL out of me.

I think I'm going to go dick around in my room now while listening to Rocky Horror. And yes Hyde, I know I haven't been listening to anything else for days now and it's driving you mad. But it's SO GOOD!

That is all.
~Sor
MOOP!

P.S: Kat: I don't know *why* you chewed on it. It doesn't taste very good.

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