sorcyress: Just a picture of my eye (Me-Eye)
[personal profile] sorcyress
WARNING: This post doesn't really get so far as talking about rape, per se, but it does talk about regular, routine, sexual assault. Trigger warning in effect.

Unlike most of the people on my friends list, I am really not that long out of high school at all. I graduated a little more than two years ago, and entered just over six years ago. This journal was started in December of my freshman year --it makes a really good chronicle of my life sometimes.

And sometimes, I laugh at naive younger!Sor, and sometimes we argue, and sometimes she weeps for me, as I am now. And sometimes, I weep for her, as she was then

On a similar note, why would any girl want to degrade herself by LETTING boys smack her on the rear end, or pinch or grab her butt? I see it in school way to often, guys do that to the girls and the girls just LAUGH! Why the hell don't they care?? That guy just grabbed one of your "private parts," a part of the body that you've known since childhood is even more private and personal then the rest of your body, and you just sit there and giggle. You IDIOTS! Trust me, and guy who gets his hand within a foot of my rear end will suddenly find that hand shoved down that throat. It still being attached to his arm is optional.
18/May/2004. Please don't mind the fact that it has taken me a very long time to apparently learn the difference between to and too.

Because it's really really hard to fight against everyone you're close to. Because you don't want to be called a prude, uptight1. Because if you deck the guy, you've forced your friends to see you as "humourless" and perhaps a freak.

After all. He was only doing it in good fun.

I've never much had to worry about seriously resisting the peer pressure of the average high school crowd, because I was so far flung out of it *anyways*. I ignored and avoided nearly everyone who wasn't either part of the Table --largely a collection of those of us who were two (or more!) grades ahead in math and liked playing magic-- or the Theatre. The boys I grew up around, certainly in those first two or three years of high school, were sweet and dorky and painfully inept at girls. More importantly, they were gentlemen, and I think the idea of smacking one of their friends on the ass was just as taboo to them as it was to me.

But reading blogs, and posts, I stumble across the following --

A growing number of teenage girls view sexual harassment and even assault as “normal,” says a top Toronto school board official.
Gerry Connelly described the “new normal” phenomenon during her keynote address at the annual Safe Schools Conference in Toronto today.
“A young girl will see somebody being pushed against a locker and fondled inappropriately, or they are being touched inappropriately and they say: ‘Well that’s just the way it is,’” said Ms. Connelly, director of education at the Toronto District School Board.

And that's what it was to me --normal. Sickening, and dirty, and slutty, and how dare those girls degrade themselves like that, but ultimately, a fairly normal sight to see. 14!Sor never once considered that maybe it wasn't the girls degrading themselves, so much as submitting to being degraded3. Out of fear of being ostracized, out of an inability to fight back, out of just not caring, because they know it's not going to stop, whatever.

And maybe I was wrong, and it wasn't sexual harassment at all. Maybe most of it was couples, roughhousing, playing, being just a little bit of exhibitionists just to show off they had each other. Maybe it was friends goofing around. Maybe not one of those girls I ever saw ever felt the slightest bit uncomfortable with the situation --it was just another touch, like a hug.

But I honestly kind of doubt it.


1: Perhaps nearly as bad an insult as slut, some days.
2: From PunkAssBlog, the article "The Evolution of a Feminist"
3: I...can't quite get this wording right. I want to say that the girls themselves were not doing anything wrong, however, they also weren't trying to fight back, and were instead accepting the situation -which is not inherently wrong, it's hard to fight against someone stronger than you, especially if you don't want to be told to just lighten up- but also did not necessarily help their situation. Insert debate here as to how much the victim is responsible for changing their situation. Yes, the abusers are fully at fault, but if no one ever stands up and tells them that it's wrong --and that did not necessarily need to be the girls-- they will continue their abuse. Orsomethinglikethat?

WARNING, because my disclaimers go both ways, for the people who read their friends lists from the bottom on up!
This post talks about regular, routine sexual assault at a high school level. Trigger warnings, and all that.
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sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
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